In which episode does Rimmer says something like "I was hated by everyone but the ship's parrot, & that's because there wasn't one!"? I did think it was one of the episodes in the first 2 seasons, but I didn't catch it while watching the DVDs.

I believe it's from "Thanks For The Memory". It goes something like this:

"Now me... now me... All the ingredients are right. I'm disciplined, I'm organised, I'm dedicated to my career, I've always got a pen. Result? Total smeghead despised by everyone except the ship's parrot. And that's only because we haven't got one. Why? Why is that??"

Can't remember which episode, but when Cat tells Rimmer 'I'ts better to live one hour as a tiger than a whole lifetime as a worm', and then walks off, Rimmer responds with 'Who ever heard of a worm skin rug?'

Better dead than smeg!