I need someone to dress up in a red outfit with horns and a tail, carry a pitchfork, and dance and crackle after I give the law to the people.
Just come out of the "Forbidden Cave", and say some disturbing things.

I AM LAWGIVER AND NOW I SHALL GIVE THE LAW. Obey it.

Law 1- I am Fourty seven your patron god.

High Preist: Is that a law, or a preamble?

I don't know, argue about it.

Law-2- You will give proper respect to all the gods.

HP: How shall we know what proper respect is.

Use a Outja board, Just type in 1-800-Fourty seven. Use name of other gods.

Law-3: Do not enter the "Forbiden Cave", THE DEVIL lives there!

Law-4: You will only wear one type of clothing, to insure you can be told apart.

Law-5: No reducing anyone to spirit form. Unless the Oracle tells you otherwise.

Law-6: No talking with the dead, unless you use 10-10-470.

Law-7: You shall never refer to Professor and Mary Ann as the rest. This an abomanation.

Law-8: Don't even think about stealing.

Law-9: Your clothing shall consist of blue, the DEVIL'S servants shall consist of red. Other god's servants will wear their clothing.

Law-10: You shall only marry one another. Anyone who is part Fairy shall not be allowed in the Holy Cave, until their wings disapear. Anyone who is part Goron, shall not be allowed in the cave until they can't eat rock, Anyone who is borg is not allowed in the tribe, anyone who is from Port Mike, LICC, PR, or the Overlord ruling council must be cleared with immergration.

Law-11: The gods may reveal new laws, and the leaders of the tribes may make more. This is what Lawgiver has spoken.

HP Note: We actually think this was written by several writters, not just Lawgiver.

Hmmmm... I wonder if I should steal...

Ha ha! I thought about stealing!

Microsoft is about to overrun the world...

Nuclear waste is piling up without any safe way to dispose of it...

Arnold Schwarzenegger still commands $20 million per picture despite his severe lack of talent...

BEHOLD! I am ScottEnnius! I decree that any mortals named Bill Gates are doomed to spend the afterlife listening to that Titanic Song over and over, while locked in a room with that Urkel kid.

Fourty-Seven, if you want to release evil monsters into the world, I have a catalog of evil from various planets. Everything from gremlins to trolls other hideous things...
And then I can create heros to deal with them.

I hereby decree that the laws of physics will be temporarily suspended whenever anyone wearing a red shirt appears. This suspension of the laws will cause any and all devices to malfunction, killing the wearer of said red shirt to die a horrible death.

Behold, that is the demon of the Forbidden cave brought about when Puny thought about stealing. He is attracted to sin. Thus keep the laws and the devil and his minions will stay in the cave.

As Fourty Seven:
Gorath: Monsters shall be created from doubts about our creation. They shall be bound in the heavens as stars until I say otherwise. I alone can give form to their Shadowy malice. You design the hero.

Oh those laws sound like GREAT ideas.

The First monster I release is
The Giant Snake. It's eats cattle. and People. Destroy it, and I will make the Hero who does the finishing blow Soverign of my People, until they PO me, anyways. No Gods may fight the snake.

I AM TAXES, THE ULTIMATE REALITY. STAND AND DELIVER!

I will fight the snake!

And I will be your helper!

Enkidu, you remind me of Nimrod.

Hold the snake's tale, Enkidu! I will smite it with my sword!

Enkidu holds it.

Tie it to that tree!

With much difficulty, Enkidu manges to do that. Gilgamesh smites off the snake's head. The Gorons cheer.

Well, that wasn't too hard! Not for a hero, at least!

Gorath sits and watches the action
Very good, very good indeed

Does this put me in charge? How does 47 evaluate this?

Gilgamesh you crukking idiot, that was no snake, that was Ishtar, and now she's become the Timewyrm. I told you you should have let me Nitro 9 her.

Ignore that post, it's a silly one. Gorath excepts me as hero so live with it, Ace. (Or should that be Bonehead...)

Gilgamesh, wait are you 2/3 divine and thus a demigod. Even so, you are the Soverign and I grant you the Mandate of Heaven.

Gilgamesh: 1 Giant Snake.

Ace: No Giant Snake.

Pat Buchanian: The Council of Elders vote.

The Second Quest, is to find the Sampo, a device from a MST 3-K episode. It will create gold salt and grain. A really poorly dubbed Witch has it at the top of the world. Regain it, and I shall teach you MAGIC FOR DUMMIES. 47 has spoken.

I also decree a new Law. THOU SHALL NOT POST MORE THAN 2 KILOBYTES.

I have an idea me Lord, "Thou shalt not forget to upgrade to the latest version of discus."

Does that make this "Discusworld"? And do we owe Terry Pratchett royalties?

Gilgamesh and his loyal sidekick Enkidu go there.

Excuse me, Badly Dubbed Witch, could I have the doowhackey you've got?

Brilliant, me Lord.

Shut up, Baldric.

Discus cut off my title! It should have read, "Edmund, The Black Adder." I say we consign its parts most private to a tree in Brixton!

Holy board, Gilgamesh!

So we're not allowed to post more than two kilobytes? I must ask...

Why 2K?????

Hmm, looks like you're so badly dubbed you're not even speaking. Well, you might know that...

During this spirited conversation, Enkidu has taken the Sampo.

Run!

They do.

You see, Enkidu and I make a great double-team. No-one will be able to defeat us! We defy everyone! Um, except for you, Mr Lawgiver, sir, 47, sir, sir.

You Have won the Sampo, Excelent. Now mankind will be aquedtely fed. I challege you to three quests but you may Choose only one. May they be known as the Badly dubbed japanimation quests.

1. Quest for the Iron Chefs: You must find the four greated chefs in the world, build them a arena, and have them find new ways to create dishes that gross most of us out.

2. Quest for the Sacred Orbs-
A group of guys with really big hair and receeding hairlines have taken my sacred orbs which I imprisioned the Eternal Dragon spirits with from my sacred Temple.

3. Quest for the Sword- The evil Lich Mumm-Ra has stolen the Sword of Omens. Get it from his evil temple. or whatever.

I choose the Chef Quest. Enkidu, you search the south and the west, I will search the east and the north. I will also search the north-east and south-east. Enkidu, you search the north-west and south-west.

Today's theme ingredient... Lich Livers!

We've found the four greatest chefs. The world isn't all that big (it's also flat) so it didn't take too long. Start your recipe making!

Sorry Chairman, Lichs don't hve livers. However the secret ingrediant is...

APPLES OF IMMORTALITY

Iron Chefs Phantom Returns (Tacoman), Iron Chef Jarso(General Martok), Iron Chef Puppet Council(lion cage operater) and Iron Chef Epic, you will compete using the apples as your main ingrediant.

Begin!

In frustration, he bites into a yellow pepper.

Who is Iron Chef Epic? Kaga Takeshi, or me? Or Enkidu?

You said you found the greatest Chef? Use him.

Oh, yeah! Enkidu, show me him. aside to Matt, I mean 47 Enkidu found him.

Ah, it's... what's your name?

Chef: Porcellus, chef of the Titans.

But there aree no titans here?

Porcellus: Yes, that's why I had time to help out here.

I see. Now what do you have for us?

Porcellus: I have the skewered livers of an adult deer, bathed in the juice of apples of immortality and seasoned with the secretions (I won't tell you what kind, it's a secret) of a rabbit.

And what do the other chefs have.

All gods may serve as judges.

All other chefs have until tommarrow to submit. Else I'll report them to the judges.

To Gilgamesh: Your life ends here!

Suddenly a voice booms from the heavens that says:
Gilgamesh, you have done well in my eyes. When you die, you shall sit at my right hand and do various godlike things in my stead.

When Gilgamesh dies, this age ends.

But for the meanwhile

Tacoman made a varity of Mexican dishes, Martok made Gagh soaked in apple juice and tacos. L.C.O. made dishes that disqualified him. Epic won, and Gilgamesh was made immortal. He ruled his kingdom well and created a strong kingdom that stood agiast the Saiyens to the North and the Lich to the south for fourty years, but the Oracle remained in his mind.

47 YAL Years after lawgiving

*pops into existence*
I am Misery, Daemon Prince of Suffering, Hatred, and nasty cuts and bruises. I spend my time peeking at Mirthiel since she is technically pretty, and I have a fetish for fairies. My hobbies include sulking, choking on my own hatred, bondage with light S&M preferring the Dominant role over Submissive, and mutilating the small, furry things. I also have deep-rooted issues with intimacy, since females seem to abhor my whole "eternally burning from the inside out". I also hold a grudge against Gilgemesh since he's my half sister's ex boyfriend's second cousin to the third power whose sidekick stole all my prospective girlfriends.

*looking up from the scantily-clad girl he is occupied with*

What was that about me?

My missing father was doing research about Mumm-Ra's temple in an effort to find the sword for noble, half-religious and half-scientific reasons. He has sent me a copy of his findings around the time of his disappearance. I think it can give hints to where he has gone, so I must complete his quest to find him. Also, I do not believe too strongly in Gorath (I tend to prefer Physico), I must try.

I should've handed it to the Marxsh Brothersh!

Breaks the heart, and the head.

I'll never forgive myshelf.

So that's what happened to the ancient Whip of Enduring Pleasure following its disappearance at the end of the Second Age. Should fetch me a few quid from the Royal Museum. But what's that roaring noise in the background... and who's making all that thudding noise...?