Dang, I was going to ask them why Josh Rikard looks so much like me.
Probably for the same reason Tacoman looked like me... He's probably your dimentional counterpart.
What I still want to know is what did that Wraith have against Tacoman?
Hey look... a used car dealership.
Greetings, Sirs!
Would you like to buy a car? I have a cream puff here, used to be owned by a little old lady in Pasadena. She only drove it to superhero conventions on Sundays.
X appears in a swirl of wind
I`m still alive, but he`s a... wraith. Since I originated on LICC, I still follow the rules of the Queue
And us
Oh, yes, and the X Continuum. And the Queue state that no-one can decide on another character`s fate. But I shall leave again. I may be back, who knows.
X disappears, in a swirl of wind
Wait! We're still here. Pepperman, come with us. The Boss wants ta talk with ya.
John, Joe, follow me!
Lance rushes over to the car dealership and asks to test drive a car. The group picks a car and drive off in it, followed by the Enforcers.
Car Salesman: Just remember to bring it back!
anybody know any good place to hide?
Well that was different.
Joe calls Victor at the hospital and the nurse tells him that three men dressed in black kidnaped him and took off. Joe tells Lance and John what happened
Victor wakes up with a hood over his head and bound to a chair. The hood is yanked off and i bright light is shining in his eyes.
Victor:Where am I? What's going on?
Unseen voice:We'll ask the questions Mr. Nightshade.
Fade to black.
Just great. They kidnap Victor and we're STILL being chased just because of the gold booby. What's so great about that thing anyway?
I have no idea. But it must be pretty important for them to go to all this trouble.
Victor appearing on the LICC board was to be explained as a dream sequence. But somehow my message never got posted. I most likely clicked on cacel post. (I normally post late at night and do things like that by mistake.). I'll never have my Port Mike and characters crossover again. I'm sorry. I fully apologize to everyone I offended for what I did.
The above should read cancel not cacel.
Joe, does your cell phone have internet access? If it does, see what you can find about the gold booby.
John, if he can't find anything, I'll drop the two of you off at the nearest library so you can do some research on the booby.
I'll go back to the car dealearship and officially buy this car.
Looks in the rearview mirror I think we may have lost the Enforcers for now.
Lance, carelessly peering in the rearview mirror for signs of the persuing enforcers, does not notice the black limo pulling in front of the car.
KRR-UNCH!
Uninjured, Lance, John and Joe try to exit the vehicle and escape, to find three large automatic weapons preceding three very angry enforcers standing just outside the wrecked car.
You guys ain't going nowhere. Frank, call for another car.
(Puts his hands up)
We're in trouble.
Victor did not explain his LICC appearence as a dream sequence. He returned to this universe in a flash of light and landed on John Barter and I.
When I asked where he had been, he said that I wouldn't believe it if he told me.
Lance also puts his hands up
Jon:
The message that I thought I posted was to be shortly after that scene. It was going to be revealed that Victor had seen one of the people from Lance's house, chased him, got hit on the head from behind by someone who worked for Morgan Nightshade and thrown out of a second story window from the department store. As for the flash of light, that actually was going to be Victor waking up just before he lands on Lance (As for the rest, I was going to let the other posters make up their own reasons for them. Which would've been far more interseting than anything I can come up with.).
But like I said. My message never got posted. Most likely because I hit cancel post by mistake. I am only human and I do make mistakes (Sigh. I shouldn't have had Victor on the LICC board at all.). Anyway, I will not talk about this subject further.
Joe puts his hands up.
One of the enforcers takes off his dark sunglasses, instantly appearing to be someone else.
Joe, Nawdle, don't worry too much about it. I'm sure nobody here even mildly loathes you or anything. As for the old authors who left, you know what they say:
"Write cool storylines and they will come back..."
The enforcer replaces his sunglasses and once again brandishes his scary weapon. The replacement car pulls up and another enforcer sticks his head out the window.
You guys, the Boss wants to talk to you now! About the item!
The beefy enforcer turns back to the group.
OK, you guys are off the hook for now. Don't leave town, and DON'T look for the Booby!!!
The enforcers jump into the car and speed off.
Hello, dear cousin. I see you've met my friends.
Victor:Morgan!
Muwahahahahahahahaaa!!
Morgan turns to one of the enforcers. When will the others be here? Our benefactor is getting anxious, as am I. The things I do for money these days.
So what if leave town and don't look for the booby?
Um, Victor's not here right now, he's in the hospital recovering form a gunshot wound. See? Just the three of us.
Victor was kidnaped from the hospital in my July 19th posts. Remember John (If not. Just scroll up and look.)? The scene with Morgan was taking place in a secret location and not with you guys and Joe. Should've made it clearer where the scene was taking place in my post. My fault.
Oh yeah.
So, where are you guys going to take us?
In the News today, the terrorist group Crimson Night, which recently toppled the government of Russia, has invaded the small Island of the Joel Resort, Just off the coast of Port Mike. The Government has suggested a blackout.
Crimson Night??? isn't that something from the X-men?
Uh..John? The enforcers that were here have left. Guys, why do we still have our hands up?
Yeah, I knew that. I was just, uh, um, practicing what I'll say if we get captured. Yeah, that's it.
turns to Lance
So what do we do now?
Lance inspects the car
Still appears to be drivable...
First thing we do is take the car back to the dealarship and buy it. Then, I guess we start looking for Victor..
Crimson Night is a high tech terrorist organization of the Russian army that took over the country a few months ago, knocked out a combined Sino-American fleet and has Taken over Joel Havens, a island off the Coast of Port Mike and are invading at any moment. They are led by General Arad D'thanousky
Egads!!! I feel like I just Quantum leaped into a bad Tom Clancy novel.
Sounds good to me Lance. Looks like the Golden Booby will have to wait.
Joe,John and Lance all get in the car and make it back to the dealership and a very shocked car dealer.
Now how am I going to sell this? I'm going to have to talk to my manager about it! You're probably going to have to pay for it though...
Let's see... a 1976 Nova... hmmmm... that should run about... oh.. $30,000 ought to do it...
Will you take a check?
Well, I am still wealthy...
writing a check for the car
Didn't you ever see "Space Seed". It is the 1990's. The Invasion is a distraction anyways. It will just be few soldiers standing on the streets, shouting in Russian and a big overthow musical number.
I'm sorry, but if you look at the first few posts on the Port Mike Board 1, you will see that such silliness is prohibited in Port Mike. Take it to JARSO, please. We don't want our ratings to drop any further.
Now, where's my Mercedes? Driver?
30,000! Sorry, I just think that is a terrible price for a used car like this
Uh, sir? The ratings on our show have actually gone UP.
Assistant, you're fired!
Gets on the phone to the president of K-NIT TV
P.F.? K.E. here. Yeah, the ratings on Port Mike have gone up under my tenure... Yeah... what color? I think black... Thanks, P.F.!
Hangs up the phone
At last. I'll be getting that black Mercedes I always wanted.
Well, where should we go now? Should we forget about O.G.T.D.U.'s warning and keep trying to find the booby and Lance or should we just forget about it?
Nyah, nyah, nyah! You'll never find me!
On the phone...
P.F.? K.E. here. Yeah, what's the deal with this car? I thought I was getting a black 2000 Mercedes S class, and I'm looking in my parking space and there's a beat-up, shot-up, wrecked 1976 Chevy Nova with the letters OGTDU spelled out in bullet holes! What gives? You know, I had an offer from that LICC show.... What? Yeah, I said a Black 2000 Mercedes S Class.
Well John, I thought Lance was buying the car. Did he leave without us?
Joe looks around the parking lot and calls for Lance. LANCE! Are you still here?
Look! There's the car! Let's go.
The two of them walk over to the newly bought but empty car
He's not in there. I wonder where he went.
Lance emerges from the convenience store across the street and wanders over to Joe and John
I bought a few supplies to tide us over.
Okay. Let's go! Uh, where are we going?
To save Victor and then to get the golden booby. But we need to find Victor first.
Yes, that's going to be a slight problem...
And what just might that be????
Interior:Victor has injected with truth serum and obviously tortured as well over the last few hours.
Apparently he knows...nothing! Guards! Take him to one of our best rooms. He'll still make a nice hostage.
Turning towards one of guards. Make sure a double guard is kept on him at all times. I have business in town to take care of. Shortly Morgan drives up to the car dealership.
Morgan:Do you have that black Trans-Am I requested?
Meanwhile across the street Lance and the others are talking.
Lance:Yes, that's going to be a slight problem...
Just then Lance looks across the street and sees Morgan Nightshade. He scarcely believes his eyes.
Lance? What is it?
Gentlemen, if you look over towards the car dealership, you will see Morgan Nightshade.
Let's follow him.
Hello There.
Do you need a car? Here at Nasty Ned's Used Cars, we buy and sell used cars. Why, here's our top salesman!
shows shot of Sleazy Used Car Salesman from Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 10:51 am.
Why, if you can't trust a man like that, who can you trust? We carry everything from classic Chevys to modern Mercedes. We even sell our cars to K-NIT TV-47!
So come on down to Nasty Ned's Used Cars!
You have it? Great! Morgan gets into his Trans-Am and is followed by Lance and the others.
Hahahaha! The Plan can procede flawlessly
Ahh fuddlescud!
Yes! We're back!
Indeed we are John.
Lance, Stay close to Morgan!
He's going into that alley. I'm not sure we should follow him.
Lance, what do you think?
Lance, strangely silent, parks the car across the street from where Morgan stopped. The three leave the car
It looks like he's going into the sign of that building. It's some kind of small hardware store.
talking to morgan nightshade...
welcome to red floyd's fancy french doors! can i help you sir?
Yes, I'd like to purchase that set of french doors in the corner for my Port Mike Mansion. Do you accept cash?
well, seeing as it says on the bills that it's legal tender for all debts, i'd better.
although i do prefer to deal in credit card transactions... it's a bit more secure.
that is a fine set of french doors that you have selected. based on a classic french design.
do you want me to tell you the price, or do you care?
Lance takes the binoculars from in front of his eyes
Hmm... red floyd's Fancy French Door Factory...
So do we just sit here, or do we make a french door purchase?
Excuse me, but Mr. red floyd has asked me to tell you that he never uses capital letters, even in the name of his business. The CORRECT name is "red floyd's fancy french door factory". If you continue to use capital letters when referring to him or his business, I shall be forced to obtain an injunction against you.
Thank You,
Hewey L. Dewey,
Attorney at Law,
Representing Mr. red floyd
As if we need THAT. I think that we need to send in someone that Morgan wouldn't recognize. At least, not if he was looking straight at him. I could go in or...
Looks at Joe
You may be right, John..
Lance looks around, then focuses on Joe
I'm going in! Wish me luck. Uhhh...what do I say? Is that a french door in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Or what?
Hmm... just say that you want to buy a french door or something, observe, and report back to us...
That sound good to the rest of you?
greetings, sir! welcome to red floyd's fancy french doors! can i help you?
Yes, do you have any freench doors in walnut or pine? As red shows Joe around. Morgan arranges for delivery of his doors and makes a call on his cell phone. Joe thanks red and and tells him he might come back and buy something next time.
Joe makes his way back to Lance and John and tells them what happend.
Unfortunately guys I couldn't hear what Morgan said over red's sales pitch. It's possible he knows we're following him and arranged a trap, or he could've been checking on his dry cleaning.
I guess we'll just have to keep following him.
Right. look, there he goes!
Morgan makes his way back to the Enforcers hideout unaware that he was followed by Lance and the others. He gets out of his Trans-Am and heads to where they're keeping Victor.
Morgan thinking to himself-*Well my dry cleaning's done. I'll just get it later*
Just as Morgan's about to question Victor again in hopes that he was covering up last time, Lance, John and Joe jump Morgan and the guards. They free Victor and make a mad dash for the exit as Morgan manages to slap the alarm before passing out.
Lets try and get out of here before those O.G.T.D.U. Enforcers show up! They mean business. I wonder when Morgan started working with them.
Okay, the car's just around the corner.
The four jump into the car and speed away, none noticing the small device attached to the bottom of the car.
Boom!
People of Port Mike, your memories will be erased to a point. You will remember the events of the LICC invasion as they were dreams. X will be punished. X, come forth!
*Gulp!* Yes?
You are sentenced to banishment in Port Mike!
ZZAAP!
Now I`m called Xavier. Yeeugh! What if I get ill? A fever? A cough? A rash? A spot? An itch? Hair loss? A headache? Nausea? Exhaustion? Sleep? Hunger? Thirst?
Well, off I go to get a job. i don`t have any powers.
Lance regains consciousness, only to find himself in the branches of a tree. In nearby branches are some pieces of the now destroyed car
What happened? Why am I in this tree? At least I know who I am... Uugg.. I had the strangest dream that the characters in the LICC tv show showed up in town... I wonder if that means anything...
John, Joe, are you two nearby?
John walks over to the tree and looks up at Lance.
Well, I found you. I haven't seen Joe or Victor yet. Oh, my head. I must've hit it on something.
Lance, my name is... Xavier. Do you by any chance need a new butler?
Victor and Lance walk up John and Lance.
We seem to be more or less ok. Victor's still a bit beat up. But he'll manage.
Victor, you escaped...
Does anybody want me to find something up here? There's several parts of the car here, too...
Oops. I meant to say, Victor and Joe walk up to John and Lance.
Joe:I'm missing my wallet. Lance finds the wallet and tosses it down to Joe.
Joe:Thanks.
Victor:Well of course I escaped Lance! You helped me escape (In Morgan's October 2nd post.). Remember? Maybe that explosion shook you up a bit more than you thought.
Can anyone suggest a job for me? I don`t have any money. Oh, I know. You think I`m one of those so-called "silly-posters". They appear out of nowhere. Well, I`m just new in this place and I need a job because... I was fired from my last job (Yes, that will stick...)
Ah yes.... I remember now...
Lance finds a way to climb down the tree and is soon on the ground
I had the strangest dream while in the tree... The characters of the LICC TV show had appeared in Port Mike and battled some sort of evil creature...
Xavier... you could always travel with us..
Frank Konspirasky, owner and proprietor of the Galaxy Of Yarn, realises something is amiss...
There are 11 shrubberies here, I was sure I had 12 before I had that crazy dream I can't remember much of...
Oh no! It must be aliens!
But no-one listens to Frank Konspirasky, who blames lots of things on aliens...
Everyone seems to be frozen. I guess I'll join them. *freezes*
And here's the weather forecast. It's going to be boiling hot folks!
all the frozen people start to melt.
3 weeks, begin the invasion.
Alright... everybody here? Joe, Victor, John? Xaiver?
If everybody's here... what do we do next?
I'm here.
So am I.
Ok, I'm here. Are the other O.G.T.D.U. Enforcers here?
Is this the spinoff from Rachgd's and James's Soap opera? Where is the Original? How about a reunion show?
A VW drives by...
SLUGBUG!
I'm here, Ta... Pepperman.
We're here but our author is busy elsewhere. Anyone who wants to take O.G.T.D.U. is welcome. See ya.
I'm fine
Frank walks up to Lance and co.
I need someone to help me in the Galaxy of Yarn, in fact, I've been too busy there ever since it began to sell other things, like shrubberies, tacos and tapioca. And there's also all that astronomy I do. Do you know of anyone who needs a job?
Well, there's me.
Hi I'm Goat Man!!
We don't have time to worry about Morgan and the other Enforcers.
Joe makes a call from a nearby phone booth.
Yes that's right. Bring two helicopters.
Within minutes a helicopter picks up Victor, Joe, Lance and John. Victor grabs a megaphone.
If you want to help us find the Golden Booby. A second helicopter will be arriving shortly. If not, send it back.
Shortly after the first helicopter leaves, the second helicopter arrives.
Meanwhile....
Morgan: Got to go.
Morgan jumps in his car and drives off and goes into hiding.
Inside the first helicopter.
Victor: Well, we should be there any minute now.
so Zabu walked aimlessly pondering over the dileema he faced. A struggle of what should have been rather than his current period of grand morose. he held in his hand the item which he had struggled for an eterntity to attain without having a clue what function or purpose it served.
"Oh, for pity in a foul despair deep besotted by the treachery and deceit run rampant in our domain."
the smell in the air was familiar to him of times of faded memories and uncertainty, frustration, paranoia. for that moment, he was unaware of his surroundings, his present condition, or any possible qualms that had faced him.
"Be-Rothkins!" he exclaimed as the nebulous warble engulfed him into presumptuous heirs.
What's your name, good sir?
Xavier tells him
Right, do you have any experience in the Yarn business? We also sell shrubberies and cyberpets.
He pressed onward...various images puzzled him.
crushed soda cup, lifeless pigeon, tattered remnants of cellophanic proportion, broken shards shimmer off moonlit sky
The breeze blew swiftly, coming from the northwest, not uncanny for this time, however, the rendezvous had to be upheld as the large hand reached the final hour.
watching the man in grey approach with a visage of stoic indifference. fear seized him as waves of frenzy played upon his spine like a xylophone
dude, i like totally blew my stash....
...major bummer man. the man was trying to lace me up with like twenty five cents worth.
it's so hard to score a lid these days. plus, i've been hooked on that johnsons glue man, for plane models....
...whoa, heavy man. didja see my keys man?
let's get out of here and munch out, for sure....
**water gurgling sound**
Is that where we're heading, Victor?
It looks sorta...desolate...
Victor: Yeah that's it.
Joe starts handing out some gear.
suddenly noxious fumes were in the air. he turned and said "you cut one!"
reaching for the crowbar, he swung up repatedly and struck his skull. the pavement turned maroon like a flowing puddle of liquid and bone pieces. apparently, he had never seen pieces of crushed cerebellum and this delighted him so.
wiping the instrument clean, he went to the local brothel and had his way with a local college drop out trollop.
Hmmm, interesting...
hiya sam!
hey al.
how much for those pork chops?
$5.99 a pound buddy, fresh off the trucks
(BAAAAAH!! heard in background and chopping sound on a wood block)
on second thought, i'll just take the rat's tails.
good choice al. we've got the "prehensiles special sale this week.
mmm, that'll be some good eating! be sure to leave the mites....
If these posts by Dr. Gonzo, Z and Guybrush are supposed to be funny, they miss the mark (By a wide margin I might add.). They're also rather disturbing.
Are they also meant to be insults directed at Nawdle?
Because the one's by Dr. Gonzo & Z are similar to Adon's posts and he has admitted to being an Adon fan. Secondly the other post plays out like a scene from the Brady Bunch and has a character named Sam and is also a possible slam at "Weird Al" Yankovic who's a vegetarian now.
hey dr. dumbkoff, if we want a psych eval, we'll call you.
sometimes a rose is just a rose is just a rose
best advice: try not to overanalyze too much. you'll just go crazy that way.
who is Adon(?) and i have no qualms or trepidations with Nawdle (neat moniker tho'). just creatively, though dark and destructively, describing utter chaos, banality, and morose state of world today. oh, and i couldn't think of another name of sam, who does happen to be a butcher in brady bunch (u lame-o). hey, i like weird al, but coolio is still pretty mad.
Sisko: I have just had... an epiphany! I give this weeks episodes... THUMBS... DOWN!!!!
Ebert: Me too. Say, are those tacos and tapioca?
no no...it's that yummy corn relish with da pickled eggs...mmm, mmm it's so good especially when you pick the pickled parsley!!
I used to have a much better career before I was sent down to the job of lowly shop owner due to my paranoid nature. What has your career been like before you got here?
You won't believe.
I just wanted to make first contact with an alien race, write the most popular novel known to man and have it filmed as a miniseries, and invent a useful device people have been needing for a long time. Not too far fetched, but I missed all my oppurtunities. The number of times I could have done any one of these, but I can't any more. So all I have to do is be content with owning a Yarn shop which sells other things as well.
The President will be visiting Port Mike soon. Now for my plan. Heh Heh Heh.
Is it just me, or is something strange going on here?
I wonder if the President will let me enter Congress?
Hmmm, I don't think I will visit Port Mike... It's going to be got rid of so a freeway can be put in.
Banner Headline
PRESIDENT SNUBS PORT MIKE!
Plans to Put Freeway Through Downtown!
Opponent says, "I demand a recount!"
Heigh ho, heigh ho, it's off to work we go.
turns off tv
man, i don't understand that licc show anymore. too many new characters... what happened to that ze french knight guy anyway? maybe i'll write a letter to k-nit and complain.
i should just probably move out of port mike altogether, business is really bad at my french door company...
Looks like I'll have to take the Galaxy of Yarn someplace else. Come, Xavier.
Newspaper headline.
Freeway redirected to go through Port Joel. Discovered to be cheaper and quicker.
Weeks later.
Victor: I can't believe the Golden Booby turned out to be a prop from some old black and white movie. Well, at least it was a fun adventure.
Joe: Speak for yourself! I still have a limp from that fall off the cliff.
Victor: I said I was sorry. I didn't know you hadn't secured the line yet. And I did pay for your medical bills.
Gee, it looks like the Galaxy of Yarn is safe. That's good, it would have taken ages to clear everything out and set it up someplace else.
Lance is sitting in the same area with Victor and Joe
Yep. that was pretty fun. At least your brother isn't trying to kill us anymore, Victor. So what's next?
It was cousin, Pepperman, not brother.
A man sits behind his desk with his hands pressed together against his chin, in a darkened office....
Soon. Very soon.....
John walks up to the trio.
Hey guys, long time no see.
Hi John! What have you been up too?
Xavier comes up to the others.
Hello, everyone. I think I should join you.
Hi!
Hello.
Hi! I'm new in town! I desided to come here as I saw it in the headlines!
Welcome to Port Mike
Population: 2000 1470 45 46 47
Nothing much since the Booby stuff ended. Tried to start a hardware store but it fell flat. So, what's been happening?
Outside of Victor's house. Victor starts going through the paper and sees a full page ad.
Hey guys. Look at this!
They all come over to see what has caught Victor's attention in the paper.
Announcing the Big, Big, Big Bubble Bubblegum factory! Job applications may be picked up at our temporary office on Main Street, across from the Post Office. The plant will employ 10,000 people, bringing new residents and new economy to town!
We are currently taking applications for:
Management
Delivery truck drivers
Skilled workers
Food Scientists
Bubblegum Techs
Quality Control
Equipment Maintenance
The plant's estimated opening date is exactly one month from this coming Monday!
Signed,
Roman T. Gordon,
President, Ceo and founder of the Big, Big, Big Bubblegum Corporation, International
Victor: Hmm. I didn't hear about this at the last stockholders meeting.
Joe: Well everyone. I'm going to apply for a job there. And they called me crazy for taking a masters degree in Food Science!
Hmm.. I suppose I could become a truck driver...Of course, I've always had an interest in equipment repair...
Yeah, I like repairing stuff too. Maybe I'll drive a truck. Too bad they don't fly.
Of course, I'm rich enough that I could help finance the company...
I suppose there's a future in Bubblegum work... but whether it's the good future with Intergalactic Alliances or the abd future where robots rule the world I don't know.
In a diner a few miles away, a guy with brown hair and a goatee and dressed in a blue and black flannel shirt and heavily worn jeans is sitting at a lunch counter, reading the paper. He sees the ad and gets excited.
Well, stone the crows! This looks like ripping good work! Cor, I haven't seen this good an offer in ages! I could use a little bit a silver in me pockets!
A waitress walks over to him.
Are you going to put in an application, Mr. Potter?
He puts down the paper and smiles...
Think I will, lass. And enough of this `Mr. Potter' rubbish! Me mates call me Mick!
Looking up
Would you happen to have a relative named Harry?
Mick scratches an itch on the top of his head
No, mate. Afraid I don't. (He takes a sip of his coffee) Got a brother named Steve and a cousin named Irwin, though. Back home, they're in a band called the `Rockodile Haunters'.
A waiter picks up his trays, and hands him a bill of how much his food cost. he then walks over to the next table, and hands the next person a bill. The person writes a check for him, and leaves. The waiter picks up the other tray and takes it to the back of the counter. He then realises that the check is a fake one, and calls to the man, but he is off.
Uh...waiter, I hate to tell ya this, but ya must be in an awful hurry, lad. I haven't ordered anythin' yet!
Oops. Well, can I take your order?
Victor: Sharon. I'm sorry for not introducing myself. Welcome to Port Mike. I'm Victor Nightshade.
Joe: And I'm Joe Smith.
Mick looks at the waiter, wondering if the waiter is a dimbulb, or just distracted and overworked...
Depends. Do ya serve `grits' here? I got a taste for `em when I lived down South for a bit.
If so, bring me some with some salt and butter and a bacon cheeseburger. If not, bring me the bacon cheeseburger and some hash browns.
He picks up the paper and turns to the Sports section....
Hmmm....there's a race at the Port Mike Speedway this weekend!
Meanwhile, the other customer is driving off quickly. He drives down the wrong side of the road, stops at green lights and runs through red lights.
Hi Sharon. I'm Lance Pepperman.
Lance glances at the paper
Hey look... a race at the Speedway!
Oh, and I am John Barter. Pleased to meet you.
Mick eats his food, pays for it, and leaves. He puts his helmet on, hops on his motorcycle, then drives to the Big Big Big Bubblegum company's temporary office to pick up a job application...
Joe gets in his car. He turns his heard toward the others.
I'm going to apply for a job there.
He drives off and arrives at the Big Big Big Bubblegum company's temporary office shortly and sees a guy on a motorcycle pull up next to him.
Mick, not even noticing the car next to him, shuts off his bike's engine, climbs off, removes his helmet, and places it on the motorcycle's seat. He then takes a blue and white baseball cap out of the bike's storage compartment, and puts it on. He heads into the office.
Joe shrugs his shoulders and walks into the building right behind Mick. There's quite a few people gathered in different lines and people scurrying around.
Hi,everybody.
*Hmm. I wonder who else will show up here?*
Lance pulls into the parking lot, enters the building, and gets in line
Hey Joe!
Frank and Xavier are at a table, they have coffee.
Xavier: I've never tried this before. Of course, I know a lot, and I know this is suppsoed to be very... stimulating.
Frank: I've been more stimulated in my time, like, what, 30 odd years ago... You've never had coffee before? Where ya from, outer space?
Xavier is about to respond, thinks better of it, and changes to: I've just never tried it before.
Frank: So, what do you think of this Bubblegum factory?}
Xavier: In the grand scheme of things it isn't too much. Some kids get something to chew on, what's so important?
Frank: Maybe we could see if they could distribute some of their products to the Galaxy of Yarn. It's worth a try.
Xavier: OK. I've got nothing better to do.
In a style frequneted in movies, they don't finish their coffee but just leave the establishment.
Random Cameo Appearance from the Former Moderator
The Former Moderator: Hi!
Frank and Xavier arrive at the bubblegum factory. They enter the building and run into Mick, Joe and Lance.
Xavier: Oh. You people are here too.
Frank: We came here to see if the company would supply the Galaxy. We sell all sorts of things, why not bubblegum?
Xavier: He means the Galaxy of Yarn, there isn't interstellar travel yet.
Frank: I know, Xavier. I may be a stargazer, I may be a former hippie, but I can keep my mind here on Earth when I need to!
Just then Victor Victor walks in. Joe and the others fill him in on what's been going on.
I don't see why they wouldn't supply you. It means more market for their product that they wouldn't have had before.
Just then Victor walks in. Joe and the others fill him in on what's been going on.
I don't see why they wouldn't supply you. It means more market for their product that they wouldn't have had before.
I'm I'm going going to to put put in in a a job job application application.
Everyone turns around to see a man in a brown shirt and khaki pants, who just walked in after them. He has blond hair and is wearing nerdy-looking glasses. He wonders what everyone is looking at.
Sorry. Sorry. I I have have a a disease disease that that causes causes me me to to say say everything everything twice twice. Like Like this this.
Victor comes in.
Hi guys.
Victor addresses the other stockholders in the room he just went in.
Now tell me why wasn't I told about this at the last stockholders meeting?
John drives up to the bubble factory
I've been driving to deliver, all the live long day! Ah, here we are.
bubble GUM
A guard stops John Barter's truck at the gate. The guard has a clipboard, and is carrying a gun in a holster on his belt. He looks down at the clipboard, then takes a look at John's I.D. Badge.
Go on in. I'l get the gate for you. (He pauses.) Go to the northern part of the factory and back up against loading dock #3. Honk your horn four times, then wait. Don't get out of the truck unless you're asked to. Got it? (John nods `yes'.) Good. (He goes over to his booth and flips a switch. The gates open for John to drive into the factory.)
Mr. Nightshade......
Victor turns around and notices a very large video-monitor (the screen is about 4 feet wide). On it a man in his mid to late 40's is sitting behind a desk, wearing a grey suit and blue tie. He has a Big, Big, Big Bubblegum logo pin on his lapel, and has dark brown hair with gray streaks in it, and brown eyes. He also has a small scar on his chin.
....we called an emergency meeting of investors about this last month, but we were unable to reach you. In case you forgot, we discussed this idea at the big company gathering last November!
I was out of the country last month. And in the November gathering we were planning on putting it in Port Joel not Port Mike. And you didn't send me any e-mails either, I checked before I came down here.
But, what's done is done. I have friends outside who should be processed by now.
Geez, this place is like a freaking military installation or something.
i{John does exactly what the guard ordered, honks his horn four times, and waited.}
Oh MAN
About 45 seconds after John honks the horn as instructed, the loading bay door opens and four people in blue and white coveralls and blue caps with white brims come out. One is pushing a pallet-jack, and another has a clipboard. The person with the clipboard walks over to the truck's cab and hands the clipboard and a pen to John. It is a woman.
You're the first delivery we've had today. Good thing you made it on time, too. These are the first batch of chemicals for the gum-mixing machines. And a few spare parts. (She pauses, then points to a line on the pages stuck to the clipboard.) Sign here, please, and fill your ID number in right next to it. (John does as instructed, then hands the clipboard back. She looks over the paperwork, tears a copy off, and hands it to John.) Show this to the guard at the gate. He'll stamp it then give it back to you. Make sure you keep the sheet, instead of throwing it away. At the end of the week, you have to turn in all of your delivery invoices in order to collect your paycheck. We're just doing this for the first week, though. The payroll computers were supposed to be here yesterday, but they haven't arrived yet. Something about a flight delay. Won't be here until Sunday, but what can you do?
She walks back inside the building. The other workers begin unloading the truck. When they finish, they close the truck doors and one of them gives John the "thumbs-up".
Gordon looks upset; he picks up his phone and dials it. He has a conversation with someone, but no one can hear what is said. After about a minute and a half, he hangs up the phone.
Mr. Nightshade, I'm sorry you didn't receive the e-mail notification. That WAS the job of Loomis, in Business Affairs. Mr. Loomis apparently only notified a handful of investors, and has just been terminated for not doing his job. That was the second time he has done this. He "forgot" to do his job back when we opened the soda factory in Albuquerque, as I recall. (He pauses.) You are right about Port Joel, however. Our research team decided that Port Mike would be a better location, especially since it seems that there are more....employee candidates available in Port Mike. We considered Clayton Cove, but decided it was too far from an airport to be feasible.
Gordon gets up from his chair.
However, I am glad you are here, Mister Nightshade. I would like you to personally supervise the hiring committee that will be looking at new candidates for our Food Sciences and Quality Control divisions. Your track record speaks for itself, so I feel you would be the perfect choice for the job. Will you do it?
I accept.
Hmm, longest soap in history.
Mr Roman T Gordon, I wish to be able to see bubblegum in my store, and also to deliver it in my Electric Van. It needs to be repainted.
Roman T. Gordon looks at Mr. Konspirasky, who just entered his office.
No problem. How much do you want, and what particular flavors are you interested in? Our Cheese Quesadilla and our new Peanut Butter & Pretzel flavor are proving to be quite popular.
Ah, yes, those sound interesting. I'll sell those. Do you have any sweeter varieties, such as chocolate or marmalade? Diversity has always been the name of the game at the Galaxy of Yarn.
My name is spelled (you need to get a piece of paper ready) K-O-N-S-P-I-R-A-S-K-Y. My parents were immigrants, their country doesn't exist any more. Unfortunately they didn't change their names, or get issued new ones, so I have to spell it out all the time if someone needs it.
The Galaxy of Yarn is located at 47 Sol Avenue. Xavier and I will get the van painted up for delivery. Do you have a logo you want me to put on it?
Yes, and a matter of fact, I do.
Mr. Gordon points to a sign on one of the walls of his office; its a HUGE pink bubblegum bubble, with the letters "B.B.B.B.G.", in blue, on a yellow sideways oval, in front of the bubble.
Marmalade and Chocolate flavors? Nope. Sorry, we don't make any of those. But we do have a nice Abalone and Grape Jelly flavor.
He smiles.
Tell you what I'll do; I'll throw in a free Big, Big, Big Bubblegum cap, plus a free case of Beer, Cheese Quesadilla, or Mustard flavored gum, your choice, for every 10 cases of bubblegum you buy. How does that sound?
Sounds good, Mr Gordon. Sign me up! Xavier, do you think you'll be able to copy that sign onto the delivery van?
"Yes, I do. I have a photographic memory. Just because..." (something inside of him tells him not to continue, and he stops)
Good. Well, we have to be going, Mr Gordon. Come along Xavier, we have work to do! Where should we go to collect our stuff?
Go to Loading Dock #3, and wait about five minutes after you get there. Leave the building through the front door, turn right, go around the corner, then turn left at the next building, and go straight for about 40 yards. That'll put you right there. Pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Konspirasky.
After following Roman T Gordon's instructions, Frank and Xavier leave the Bubblegum Factory in Frank's car.
"I think the old G of Y is headed for great things, X," Frank says. Xavier looks startled.
"Oh, I can call you that, can't I? You're not offended? I just thought Xavier seemed too formal, we've known each other for some time now."
"Oh, yes!" Xavier says, a little more relaxed. X, eh? Well, of course he didn't know his "little secret" but the name might do. It might remind him too much of that time when he had power, almost unlimited, but the people closest to him had always called him by this name, therefore it seemed right that Frank should do the same.
Suddenly another car appears, heading straight toward them. Literally, because although in Great Britian this car would be driving on the correct side, this is the United States, where such behaviour is not permitted. Frank sharply swerves the car off at an angle, and it smashes into a building. The other car also slides off, smashing into a third car. The drivers of the second and third cars get out and argue. The second driver, the one who nearly collided with Frank's car, is seen to be none other than the unpaying customer from the diner. Of course, Frank does not know this but the viewers do, as we close-up on him and some short dramatic chords play.
"We'll need to call a tow truck. Ah well, we can just use our delivery van, or maybe ask that millionaire Mr Pepperman for a vehicle. You all right, X?"
And Xavier responds, "I'm fine."
Roman T. Gordon picks up his phone and makes a call. A few seconds later....
Its me. We just made our first sale. (He pauses for a few seconds, listening.) Yes, I made sure that they received a few cases of our special gum, mixed in with the regular stuff. Make sure you acquire more of the secret ingredients as soon as possible. We're running low.
He hangs up the phone and smiles.
Can't wait to see what effect the gum has on the people who chew it!
Attention! This board has been actively posted on for exactly one year today! Therefore, this particular board will recieve the prestigious SLO-Award for Slowest Authorship!
Applause
Man this board couldn't more dead quiet if it were showing a screening of Glitter.
Where is everybody?
They're hiding from the Angry Fisherman.
All right. Back to work everyone.
Arrgh! Where be that thar Lance Pepperman? I'll be a-gettin' him if it be the last thing I do!
And it probably will be.
You there! Worker 47. Pick up the slack! We have a deadline to meet.
Victor doesn't notice the person coming up behind him.
Longest episode ever.
And most everybody in Port Mike lived happily ever after.
And in the end, the love we send...