Do I even need to mention anything wrong with this movie!?

Diss iss obsaluttly fussinading, to coin a phrase.

I loved the "Where, or Werewolf" segment

Santa, Dictator for life.

Great riffs:

Natalie: "You do know that if this is a lycanthrope..."
Crow: "I'd have to look the word up?"

"Vanessa Redgrave for Banana Republic."
"Aah! Filipino crotch-fighting!"
"Meanwhile, in the dead of blue-filtered night."
"So they keep suspected werewolves in the neonatal unit?"
"He's beating up Bob Vila!" *as Norm Abrams* "Now what we're doing here, Bob, is getting killed by a werewolf."
"Okay, stop, everyone go up a shirt size."
"He's like a Rent-A-Center Andy Garcia."

Yuri *growling*: "Yeah. I'll take a walk."
Crow *as Yuri*: "OVER TO KIRK DOUGLAS' HOUSE!"

"Now this dinosaur was found with a head sticking out of its butt."
As a newly-created werewolf tries to drive home: "I'm color-blind now, what do I do!?"
"I is going to find Paul."
"Here's where his Russo-Mexican tracking skills come in handy."

"Chubby Ramone!"

“Featuring the Bulgarian Women Choir rendition of ‘Jingle Bells’.”

“They’re excavating a tiramisu!”
“We found another stratum of ladyfingers.”

Noel: “But at the risk of sounding nuts ...”
Crow: “... I’ve replaced my toes with grapes.”

“Man, they’re establishing the hell out of this building here!”

(Yuri pulls up in the desert)
Tom (as Yuri): “Man, I was lucky to find this parking space!”

Tommy: “Look – I see something over there.”
Crow: “It’s a guy with a wolf hand puppet!”

Joe Estevez: “If it’s Martin, shoot to kill, then I can be in Spawn!”

“This is a strange remake of Jane Eyre.”

“Come on! The Sheltering Sky moved quicker than this movie!”

“Oh, I see some really stupid children being born as a result of these two meeting.”

“Loud mumbling breaks out!”
“Movie, is there something you’d like to share with the rest of us?”

Security guard: “I’ll drink to that.”
Crow (as guard): “But I’ll drink to lymph nodes, so it’s nothing special.”

“This guy’s on his fourth hairdo since the movie started!”

Paul: “So tell me, have you made any history-shattering discoveries lately?”
Tom (as Natalie): “I barely know what a hat is.”

Paul: “I’m a writer. I’m actually working on something now.”
Natalie: “Really? What’s the subject matter?”
Tom: “You’re right – subject doesn’t matter at all.”

Yuri: “My modern man-made werewolf.”
Mike: “The very model of a modern man-made werewolf.”

(The guard drives home as he begins to turn into a werewolf)
“I hope he remembers to crack a window for himself.”
“The werewolf’s hanging his own head out of the window, drooling all over his own car.”
(as guard) “I feel like getting out and chasing my own tyre!”
“An American Werewolf in Traffic.”

Natalie: “Welcome to Flagstaff.”
Tom (as Paul): “And welcome to my flagstaff, if you know what I mean.”

“So his plan is to rid the world of security guards by changing them into werewolves one by one and then having them crash their cars.”
“Well, it seems to be working so far, you can’t fault him on that.”

(Paul has got slashes on his back)
“My advice: never have sex with Flo Jo.”

(Paul strains on his bed as he starts to transform)
“You know, the antidote to being a werewolf just might be Imodium AD.”

Natalie: “I do this for a living.”
Mike: “You console European losers?”

“You know, he’s just not my idea of a werewolf. I mean, he’s somewhat hirsute, but ...”
“It turns out he’s not a werewolf, he’s just Greek.”

Natalie: “I’m not holding back anything.”
Crow: “Certainly not talent.”

Noel: “Do you realise that if this is true, it could be the greatest find of the century?”
Mike: “Better than the new, bigger Cheeseits.”

Natalie: “Well, maybe then it’s too late.”
Mike: “Wow, the future conditional pluperfect subjunctive!”

“Yep, bikers love harpsichord music.”
“Play some well-tempered clavier, man!”

“Hey, Paul, you’re really turning into a werewolf over there! Anyway, 3-ball in the corner pocket.”

“Not a good sign when the action in your movie is upstaged by a mural.”

Crow, explaining to Mike what else he can expect as he turns into a wereCrow: “Well, your voice is gonna change inexplicably every seven years or so.”

Yuri: “I know this is gonna be hard for you to understand.”
Mike (as Yuri): “‘Cause of my accent.”

Natalie: “You and Noel is in it for fame and fortune?”
Crow: “Yes, we is.”

“Is that a 1 x 6? Oh, it’s her acting.”

“This is very moving – in that I want to move out of the theatre immediately.”

“Cinematography by Haskell Wexler .....’s cat.”

“The jacket makes him look like a werewaiter.”

“The crickets are trying to drown out the soundtrack. Go crickets!”

“Even in death he’s sucking his gut in.”

“I’ve got the feeling that every bit of her intelligence is being used to climb those stairs.”

“Oh, come on! Dead people know what’s gonna happen here!”
“Surprise ending written and conceived by a tubeworm.”
“I stand corrected – she’s not a werewolf, she merely joined the cast of Cats.”

Werewolf...wow. It's hard to say what the comic highlight is--the driving werewolf security guard, Yuri's constantly morphing hair, the bizarre European accents from all of the main cast (especially Natalie, who reads her lines like she is phonetically learning English), the outrageously bad fight scenes, or my favorite, Yuri's reaction to being told by Noel to take a walk ("Ehhhhh!").