Mike: "I'd like to teach the world to... Get Ready for some football!!!"

In this episode Mikeway claimed that there were 170 crew members on the SOL. With all the Extra Tom's in the last episode, that does make sense.

What was Roddy McDowall thinking, appearing in this movie?! At least Joel Goldsmith, who did the music, moved on to better things – he now does the music for Stargate Atlantis.

“Edward CD-playerhands.”

“I’m hunting spacecwaft.”

(The aliens shoot at the first laser guy)
“Good shooting, Xanthar!”
“Thanks, Denise.”

“Now on to movie three!”

Tom (as Billy’s mom); “You’ve got your James Spader lessons.”

““Hey, this van’s got a poop catcher on the rear!”

Tom: “They targeted this movie to lonely bass fishermen.”
Mike: “In other words ...”
Tom: “Bass fishermen.”

“Ah, the famous squealing tyres on a dirt road.”

“Ron Howard pops the clutch, signals, checks both ways and proceeds gently into traffic, politely inviting people to eat his dust.”

Cop 1: “All right, force him over.”
(Cop 2 stares at him wide-eyed.)
Mike (as Cop 1): “And quit scanning me!”

“I’ll just pull up here so I can find this thing and then we can get the movie going.”

“Uh, Billy, go to Expression B.”

(Billy puts the laser arm on)
Mike (as Billy): “Now let’s go find some ptarmigan!”

(Billy makes shooting noises as he waves the laser arm around)
Tom: “After all that, it’s ‘Pa, pa, pow’.”
Mike: “Once you’re over the age of eleven, you should not say ‘pow’.”
Crow: “Won’t he be surprised when he finds out it doesn’t go ‘pow’ but ‘fwish!’”

Kathy: “Where’ve you been all morning? Not waking people up at the crack of dawn, I hope.”
Crow: “Oh, that’s where they found Tony Orlando.”

(The lead alien raises its hand)
Crow (as alien): “Howdy do!”
(The green alien raises its own three-fingered hand)
Mike (as green alien): “Hey, read between the lines!”
(The lead alien rattles off some alien language. The green alien looks at the grey one)
Mike (as green alien): “Well, did you?”

“Oh no, it’s Michael Landon! What else could go wrong?!”

“It’s Coleman Francis mountain!”

(Craig picks up some ash from the desert)
“Another Buddhist monk.”

(The teen party)
“Oh, man, if Pauley Shore’s in there ...”

“Is a cat laying on the organ or something?”
“Oh great, he lives next to Alan Parsons.”

Mike (as sheriff, singing): “I shot the me-oh, but I did not shoot the other guy.”

Billy: “Can I get dressed now, Doctor?”
Crow (as Roddy McDowall): “Certainly, bright eyes ... oh.”

McDowall: “Quite frankly ...”
Crow: “... I don’t know why I took this role.”

(Dr Mellon squirts liquid out of the syringe)
Crow (as Mellon): “Duh, why did I do that? Now I have to fill it up again!”

Mike (as McDowall): “Ah, How Green Was My Valley was a long time ago.”

McDowall to his nurse: “Would you mind cleaning up the examining room?”
Mike (as McDowall): “I was getting into my ape role and I threw some cr*p around.”

(McDowall picks up the phone)
Crow (as McDowall): “Gotta see if Beyond the Planet of the Apes is a go.”

“This movie is comprised strictly of Second Unit footage.”

Craig: “We should call Springfield.”
Mike: “Which one? There’s one in every county.”

(The police car does a U-turn)
“Thrill as the police forget something!”

“He’d make a pretty Sharon Gless.”

“Anything you say can be used to get you ready for some FOOTBALL!”

Billy: “I don’t like going to doctors but ...”
Mike “... but it was Roddy McDowall – he made it fun!”

(Craig goes to his car)
“Oh, no, another dead dog. I gotta remember to crack the window.”

Technician: “And I’ll tell you something else, if you won’t think I’m crazy.”
Mike (as technician): “I’ve got grasshoppers taped to my back.”

(The cop gets himself a Coke)
Mike (as cop, singing): “I’d like to teach the world to get ready for some FOOTBALL!”

“This is like Porky’s without the charm.”

(After the love making scene)
Tom (as Kathy): “Oh well, I’ll finish in town.”

(The light aircraft takes off)
“I’m Cherokee Jack!”

“You know, Mike, this movie was run through a highly technical process called Tension Extraction before they released it to the theatres.”

“Red Zone Cuba III: The Destruction of Cherokee Jack.”

Green alien: (alien gibberish).
Mike (as grey alien): “Sure, throw that up in my face!”

“He’s like a lucid Dennis Hopper.”

“So I wonder what the flaw was that kept Leonard Malton from giving this the full three stars?”

“So, what east coast southern California town is this?”

(Billy lies dead)
“This is really where he hits his stride as an actor.”

Hey My friend and I saw this dreg in its first run.Laserwho?

In this one, they manage to do parodies of both ST:TOS and ST:VOY in the host segments. That in addition to 2001.