"Shine your Love" is so awfully disco. Such a ta ta fest this movie. Really weird seeing Jack Palance involved in a drug ring. This was an early attempt at a chick flick.
Plus, Alan Hale is a brief cameo!! Also, Jim Bacchus (Mr. Howell) in his worst role ever as head of a militant group (I kid you not!!).
Ohhhhhh, man, don't get me started on this one.
Just a warning to the females in the audience: This is basically 'Charlie's Angels' taken to it's most grotesque extreme. Avoid it like the plague (unless you want to develop - like I did - a serious need to inflict pain and suffering on the [male] creators!)
Still not convinced? How 'bout the prospect of watching zero-talent starlets in skin-tight jumpsuits being slobbered over by elderly B-grade character actors - including, of all people, Arthur Godfrey? (I honestly had to close my eyes during the Jim Backus sequence. Mr. Howell, NOOOOOOOO!)
Even the guys' riffing couldn't cheer me up during this one. You have been warned.
This one was part of the pack that we got for my dad for Father's Day (because it came with the boxer shorts). Just watched it last night and I swear I could feel the bad acting in my bones. Was it me or were the Host Segments really, really short?
I noticed that too - also that they were a little more violent than usual (The '70's theme was pretty clever, though. And I love it when Crow plays screenwriter.)
Classic episode, mainly because it seems like the kind that movie that Hollywood could be releasing any day now.
BEST BITS
*"I'm Tug McGraw."
*The kid hitting Sticks. "That's blood!"
*Jack Palance. I swear, he's desperately trying to keep his dignity in this film so bad. He succeeds a little better than Peter Lawford. Well, a LOT better. Eons better than Jim Backus.
*Arthur Godfrey going into an epileptic fit in the casino.
*The fact that the main character is a violent version of "That Girl."
*Pat Buttram's annoyingly dumb cameo. "I've got more barnyard analogies!"
*Jim Backus and the less-funny-than Hudson Brothers trio as the worst right-wing militia camp ever.
*The mysterious appearance of a bazooka.
*Peter Lawford. "CONTROL, Mike. It's all about CONTROL. I need CONTROL."
*The two idiots that are looking out for the shipment, especially the guy with crotchless fisherman's pants.
*The death of Sticks, and the "Bartok" music accompanying his death.
*The dumb sound effects that play everytime somebody hits someone.
*The Jim Henson as Kermit impression done for the thug that pops out to get shot.
*Peter Lawford's death. "You didn't quite have enough CONTROL. I learned long ago that CONTROL"---BANG! "By this time, my lungs were aching for booze..."
Y'know, I'm thinking this movie must have been some sort of cosmic retribution on Arthur Godfrey - for kicking everyone off his own show on account of they weren't 'modest' enough...
Kerrie, I didn’t have as much of a problem with this movie as I’d expected from your warnings! Yes, it was terribly anti-women (or rather, pro women’s assets!) but it certainly wasn’t as bad as The Wild World of Batwoman which I watched beforehand!
Great lines:
Michelle: “The question is what do we do about it?”
Crow: “And who brought the brain?”
(The camera focuses on Michelle’s butt as she climbs the lookout tower)
Crow: “Hey, you’re giving away the plot!”
“Oh great, Mitchell’s here!”
“We mourn the end of the fight scene.”
“They’re attacking a Klingon language camp!”
“Miles O’Keeffe with breasts!”
“It’s the T and A-Team!”
“I’m glad they preserved the original parallelogram format.”
Michelle (on the phone): “Oh my God! Not Bobby! Is he alright? ... Oh no!”
Mike (as Michelle): “He is alright.”
April: “Women can make a difference.”
Crow: “Ah, the director wrote that so that he could get laid.”
Michelle: “She’s a top model.”
Mike: “That’s why they shoot her in mall parking lots.”
Elaine: “We’ve gotta do one more thing before we destroy that processing compound.”
Tom: “Everybody go potty.”
(Maria puts on knuckledusters)
Mike: “Must be engaged to Sean Penn.”
“This was Jim Backus’ first film after he died.”
“I was hoping never to see Jim Backus in thigh-high boots.”
“Eww, he’s got crotchless waders on!”
“Right now Benny Hill is smiling down from heaven.”
“We continue now with International Hide and Seek.”
“Jeez, he might fall a whole twelve feet!”
“It’s a wet TeaCher contest!”
“If you hunch over, people can’t see you!”
Ah, well, see, I never saw Wild World of Batwoman (and thank you for giving me an excellent reason not to!)
Anyhow, glad you got some fun out of it. At least now I know this piece of drek (the film, not the MST3K ep!) served some small purpose in the filmic universe...
How is this movie anti-women? It's MEN who are constantly bashed throughout Angels' Revenge. Think about it, is there ANY male character who's not depicted as sex starved and boozed up before getting beat up by women? If there is, I must have missed him (well, OK, a few guys don't get clobered, but the first two still stand).
On a non-sarcastic note (yes, I WAS being sarcastic up there), I think this mannages the impressive feat to surpassing A Bug's Life as the most unlikely rip-off of a Seven Samurai concept ever.
Well,Arthur Godfrey doesn't get beat up, and neither does Skipper.
Please note the parenthetical comment at the end of my statement.
OK. I didn't see it until after I wrote that. Here's some more funny lines.
I'm gonna run potty, then I'll attack.
Miss Maxfli!
We will provide you with sex, which is something men like.
Connie Stevens IS The Professional.
Miss Jane Pitman in Striking Distance.
Richard Farnsworth is out for justice!
Jose Cardenal looks on.
There goes another Pump-N-Munch.
The air filled with Slim Jims and obscene trucker tapes.
Squanto, in L.A.
It's hard to run in orlon.
Dworkin-fest '78!
If you're going to wake me up this early, you have to expect me to drink.
Hey, it's not my fault Jack stayed at Bing's house.
The sensibly dressed commando.
Baby! I'ma want you.
She beat me up in her Chevy van and that's alright with me.
Teacher's got it in for me, man.
I am the NRA, and it's fun.
These survivalists couldn't survive a grape embargo.
Ride! Riding like the demon who drives your dreams.
This movie is offending one-celled animals.
DeLorean, for moms.
Hockey moms to the rescue.
Jack's not getting paid enough to run.
In the opening host segment, Frank and Dr. Forrester are supposed to be dressed as 70's relief pitchers Tug McGraw and Rollie Fingers. However, they are both wearing 90's-style Phillies and A's uniforms, not the 70's-style that McGraw and Fingers actually wore.
This episode contains one of the most obscure references of any segment of MST3K. Near the end of the movie, the line "My Roscoe barked chow-chow!" This is a tribute to the 30's crime noire pulp writer Robert B. Leslie, whose private eye Dan Turner's explots contained that catch phrase in which a Roscoe was always barking, sneezing, or coughing some sound effect. Mr. Leslie was kind of the Ed Wood of detective fiction, whose praises have been sung by the likes of cosmopolite humor writer S.J. Perelman as well as mystery scholar and author Bill Pronzini. I'm not sure, but I may be the only MST3K fan in existence to get that reference.