“Fight choreography by Dom DeLuise!”

“This is either America ten years ago or Canada today.”

“It takes a man to wear Farrah Fawcett hair.”

Jim: “I kinda liked it, taking his life like that, snuffing out that big candle.”
Tom: “Oh, he’s waxing philosophical.”

During the interminable tennis scene with electronic music
“Is she playing tennis with Kraftwerk?!”
(Nerdy guy smashes the ball over the net) “Taste my steel ... please.”
“Did we accidentally switch to a different movie?”
“So, how does this further the plot?” “How does this further the game of tennis, for that matter?!”
(The tennis players kiss) “And the score is love love.”
(More kissing with the nerdy guy) “So many women tennis players wish they were that guy.”

(Girl being chased by zombie) “She’s briskly jogging from him.”

Frank: “So, what do you think: double suicide?”
Mike: “No thanks.”

M.E. “You’re looking for one large, angry person.”
Mike (as Frank, wistfully): “Maybe I am looking for someone like that, but I don’t think I’ll ever find him.”

Frank: “The few fingerprints we did get all traced back to members of the academy.”
Tom: “... who I’d like to thank.”

Bob (on phone): “Where are you?”
Mike (as Amy): “Um, I’m here, I think.”
Bob: “Is there anyone there?”
Amy: “No.”
Mike (as Amy): “Uh, except for me.”
Bob: “Stay where you are. I’m coming over.”
Tom (as Bob): “It’s small comfort, I know.”

Police Captain: “Take a good look, Frank. There’s your culprit.”
Crow (as Frank): “Mine, sir?! You mean it?!”
Police Captain: “We picked him up in Newcastle.”
Crow (as Captain): “He was bringing coals.”
Police Captain: “He was on probation.”
Frank: “Let me guess: assault.”
Tom: “No, a pepper. A-ha-ha-ha!”

“I’ve just realised something we’re not gonna bother showing the audience!”

(The Captain starts hearing voices in his memory)
“Hey! He’s flashing back without us!”

(The Captain (played by Adam West) looks serious)
“God, I miss my tights.”

(The Captain gets a gun out of his drawer)
“This’ll be Tim Burton’s last night on Earth.”

Amy: “This is a big garage.”
Mike: “See? She’s not that dumb!”
Bob: “Yeah, a little too big.”
Amy: “I wonder where they keep the money.”
Bob: “Yeah, a good question – a little too good.”
Tom: “Oh, must you superlative everything?!”
Crow: “It’s a little ominous in here.”
Mike: “A little too ominous.”
Crow: “A lot of cars in here.”
Mike: “A little too a lot of cars in here.”

“Ironically, they end up busting the zombie for tax evasion.”

(The zombie staggers along) “Boy, I’m dead on my feet!”

Frank: “Are you gonna kill me, too?”
Captain: “I’ve got no choice, Frank.”
Crow (as Frank): “Ooh, that backfired!”