Bob: “Maybe your daddy told you my oil well looks good, huh?”
Joel: “That’s dirty!”

Joel: “Man, this looks like home movies of my parents’ wedding!”

“ANYWAY, BE QUIET ABOUT OUR SECRET PLAN!”

“Get over here! We just wanna kill you for a minute!”

“D’you guys think it’s possible that the video watchdog people are wrong and that Corman really is a terrible director?”

Vera: “I’m gonna go down to Mexico and I’m gonna buy myself a town.”
Josie: “What do you want with a town?”
Joel (as Vera): “Well, you’d always have a place to park.”

Lee: “Have a drink.”
Bob: “Don’t mind if I do.”
Tom (as Lee): “Well, good, ‘cause that’s what’s happening.”

“This is really the Never Ending Story.”

“Herb Alpert plays the haunting Swamp Diamonds love theme.”

Lee: “D’you have to hit him when his hands are tied?”
Josie: “I’d hate to hit him when they wasn’t.”
Tom: “Oh, good point!”

“I’m gonna turn to a life of cri... oh, wait ...”