Torgo.

Well, y'know, "Manos"

Since when did nouns become complete sentences?

Well, what's there to say about Manos that hasn't already been said? I've seen better films than this on local access cable. One wonders just how this film was ever released..in fact, one is tempted to say that this film WASN'T released, it escaped.

When I found out that its director was a fertilizer salesman, I thought "Well, that explains it, then." (grin).

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!Make it stop!MAKE IT STOP!

Say, did anyone know that the guy who played Torgo killed himself shortly after this movie was completed? I don't blame him.

It really is a shame that the Comedy Central episodes can't get broadcasted anymore.

Yeah it is a shame. I managed to get 25 episodes taped before Comedy Central stopped airing the show, including those four 1st season episdoes that were shown one last time (#'s 102,105,106 and 107). But some episodes aren't in the best of shape because we were having trouble with our cable box at the time and I'd sometimes get a snowy picture. Darn it!

So far I've only bought one Rihno tape, #301 Cave Dwellers. I hope to buy another episode (Maybe two depending on the price.) today.

As for the guy who played Torgo killing himself. Where did you hear this from Tom?

Internet Movie Database, at http://us.imdb.com.
Check the User Comments for the movie, and several people there make that claim, that the actor who was Torgo killed himself.

They also say that Plan 9 From Outer Space is not the worst movie ever made, it is Manos, The Hands of Fate.

I might add that the average rating that visitors to the site have given it makes it number one in the Bottom 100. In other words, of all the movies in the database (i.e. every movie ever made) this has been voted the worst.

Definitely a classic MST3K episode.

The sheer awfulness of this film is probably best noted by that the first host segment takes place after only about three lines of dialogue have been spoken (aside from some corny song that plays to cover up the sad, sad lack of anything worthwhile to watch).

I pity most of the cast--especially John Reynolds as Torgo. Frankly, the Torgo scenes are laughingly hilarious even WITHOUT the commentary. The "Torgo Theme" will be stuck in your head for days after seeing this film, bringing up a chuckle for no apparent reason.

This also has "Hired: Part II" at the beginning, which features a memorable old lunatic that swats at nothing and wears hankerchiefs on his head.

Here's my plot summary of this piece of trash.

A dimwit dad (played by the producer-director, Hal P. Warren) and his suffering wife (plus annoying kid and dog--pity them) head off to a vacation to some nebulous place called "Valley Lodge". Like all good fathers, Warren refuses to ask directions, so after a boisterous singing of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" and a totally lame encounter with the local fuzz, they end up at a spooky mansion. They are spotted by some kids, whose life consists of kissing, drinking, and kissing. The kids are chased off by the wry old local fuzz, but enough about them, they're what passes for comic relief in this film.

At the mansion, the sad sack of a "monster" in the movie, Torgo, comes out, doing body spasms every quarter of the second, with knees the size of Mount Rushmore. For reasons unknown to anyone, Warren takes a shine to Torgo, and even though it's sunny out, Dear Ol' Dad decides it's too dark to proceed any further. Despite Mrs. Warren's fears, Dad asks Torgo if they can spend the night. Torgo is afraid of the "Master", but reluctantly agrees. Quickly, the dog runs out, and gets eaten by an unknown thing. Both the girl and wife are upset, so dutiful Warren goes to start the car...without much luck. Torgo then tries to put the moves on the wife, and promptly strikes out. And then, Little Debbie (the kids name), disappears, finding a demonic Doberman, and leading the parents to a strange ritual zone.

Torgo pops into the ritual zone after they leave, addressing the sleeping Master and his wives, in what appears to be Hal Warren's idea of pathos. Torgo then clobbers Warren, and leans him against a pole. The Master then awakens, only to find his wives in a bit of a civil war over what to do about the child. The girls resolve it the only way Hal Warren knows how: pointless girlfights! You go, sister! The Master voyeuristically watches for a while, then puts a stop to it. He finds Torgo, and disposes of him by waving a dead hand over Torgo's face (?). Then, he ties Torgo down, and has his wives wave their hands over Torgo's face. What this does is have Torgo collapse and die, only to rise...and have his hand turn into fire. With this, any last hope for Hal P. Warren's scriptwriting career ends in flames.

Well, after some more mindless scenes, Warren finds his family, and they hide in the kitchen. The Master bursts in, and Warren shoots at him.

Cut to another hapless group driving through the same scenery that the Warrens drove through, passing the same 'ol necking kids and fuzz. They end up at the same mansion, but instead of Torgo, it's Warren! And in a downbeat ending, Warren's wife and kid are now wives of the Master (Euuuuu!). But to pep you up, a light and airy song plays as the cast is introduced, and then Warren frighteningly puts up "The End--?". Thankfully, it was.

So, Mike C, what was Manos about?? Just kidding.

OK, maybe someone knows. In this classic film from hell, during the scene where the dad shoots the Master, what song is that when Joel says, "I've been official!"

Oh for fun facts, John Reynolds who played Torgo promptly killed himself after this film was released.

Also, the loser dad in this flick turns out to be real-life loser Hal Warren. Ha Ha.

"Hired--Part II" at the beginning is worth watching in its own right.

"Flying elves are back!"
"They're talking to Floyd the barber!"
"Adlai Stevenson buys a car!"
"Well...can I keep the pen?"
"Inka dinka doo!"
"TEN CARS?!"
"G'night! Stay pink and oily!"

"But he bought the flipping car!!"

Too many faves from "Hands":

"When is this guy going to demonstrate some simple competence? SHEESH!"
"His name's Mephisto, can we keep him?"
"Torgo wobbles, but he won't fall down."
"Oh thank you very much, a shot in the face."

And once more, the haunting Torgo theme plays...

Here's the Movie and TV references that I caught for "Manos."

Breakin' II: Electric Boogaloo--a riff at Hired II.
The Untouchables--when the salespeople drive off in their 1930 style hats.
The Andy Griffith Show--Floyd the barber.
Bewitched--"I'm gonna keep this from Gladys."
Monty Python and the Holy Grail--"5, I mean 3."
Dr. Giggles--the evil salesman.
The Addams Family--Cousin Itt.
The Man from U.N.C.L.E.--the car driving off.
Sex, Lies, and Videotape--"Pigs, lies, and videotape."
The Trip to Bountiful--the endless car trip.
Speed Racer--the driver of the car and his girlfriend.
Brigadoon--the house that wasn't there but is there now.
Monty Python's Flying Circus--"I wet 'im!" and the part about the towns guild recreating Pearl Harbor.
Jeopardy--when Torgo decides to let the family in.
Night Gallery--the painting of the Master.
Casablanca--"I'll always have Torgo."
The Art Linkletter Show--"Kids worship the darndest things."
Lassie--"I think she wants us to follow her."
Dirty Harry--"It was Callahan, the big one." (I don't know which movie)
West Side Story--"Torgo! I just met a fella named Torgo!"
Baby Doll--when the wife is in her room.
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof--"Who was lookin' at Maggie the Cat?"
Barbara Woodhouse--"Doggie go walkies?"
Macon County Line--"Makeout County Line."
The Jazz Singer--"Mammy!"
The Ten Commandments--"Moses of soul..."
The Honeymooners--"One of these days, Alice!"
I Married Joan--"We married Manos!"
Designing Women--when the girls attack each other.
Beaches--ditto.
Batman (TV show)--"Pow! Biff!"
Santa Claus vs. the Martians--"Torgo, you're the laziest man on Mars."
Girl Talk--again when the ladies fight.
Chinatown--"She's my sister! She's my daughter!"
The Brady Bunch--Carol Brady.
The Music Man--"Right here in River City..."
Fawlty Towers--"Yes, DEAR. I'm doing it, DEAR."
The Great Santini--"Gonna cry now? Huh?"
The Grifters--Torgo is killed.
Goldfinger--"Charred fingerrr!"
Frankenstein/Bride of the Monster--"He tampered in God's domain."
Fiddler on the Roof--"He wants to sing 'Sunrise, Sunset.'"
The Dean Martin Show--"They wanted to be Dean Martin's Golddiggers."

Um, hate to be a stickler, but the "Black and red Moses of Soul" line is a variation of the cast's all time favorite "Black Moses of soul" line. They added the red since the master's cape had black and red.

Good job on the quote research though. When the Master is shot at in the end, where is
"I've been official!" (said by Joel) from? I think it's a song, but don't know which one....

I have no idea. I thought it was a reference to "I shot the Sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy!" song, but I think I'm off.

I counted the "Black and Red Moses of Soul" line as a reference because he is waving his arms like Heston from "The Ten Commandments."

Oh. My. God. I cried. I mean, I really cried. I’d been so dubious about whether to get this video or not: most people here agreed that Manos was the worst film ever shown on MST3K but there was a big difference of opinion on whether the riffing made it worth seeing or not. But I got it anyway. And spent most of the time either with my jaw hanging slack with disbelief that anyone could make such a bad movie, or shrieking with laughter. And eventually I’d laughed so hard for so long that one line near the end sent me into such a prolonged bout of hysteria that I burst into tears. It’s very rare that something is so funny that that happens – I think the last time I cried at something that funny was when I first saw Ryan Stiles and Colin Mochrie impersonate dinosaurs in an episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway?.

There were so many questions I hurled at the screen. Why was Margaret wearing underpants on her head? Why, when Torgo took about fifteen minutes to reach towards Margaret and fiddle with her hair, didn’t she think about backing away? Why, when she had just been terrified at the sight of the Master and his wives, did she meekly return to their room and get undressed ready for bed? Why were the moths the best actors? But mostly just why???!

I loved it!

Many many superb moments. Here are some of my favourites:
“Y’know, this is the slowest car chase sequence I’ve ever seen.”
The ‘row, row, row your boat’ sequence when they made the poodle join in.
“I left a piece of chewed gum on your pillow.”
“Man, I can’t help wonder what this cast party was like.”
“Oh! My hernia!”
Joel: “Shame on you, Dr Forrester, have you no sense of decency?” Crow: “What, is Torgo juggling?”
“Think we should try some of that kissin’, Burt?”
Torgo takes about 25 minutes to get to his feet, then just stands there in front of the Master, causing Joel to eventually say in irritation, “Do something!”
“Get that cat off the piano!”
“The amazing technicolour poncho!”
Joel’s version of the amazing technicolour poncho.
The Master flashes his poncho for the umpteenth time. Joel and the Bots in bored unison: “Seen it.”
(This was the line that made me dissolve into tears) Crow as the big ferocious Doberman: “Can … can you hold that cue card up … what’s it say? … oh yeah … ‘Arf’.”
“Crew? They had a crew? I do not believe they had a crew!”
My favourite non-riff line was the very last – Mike as Torgo: “They always do that.”

I'm sorry if I'm culturally dead, but there were some names mentioned in this film I don't recognize. Anybody help?

Jeffrey Zaslow (after Joel makes the comment about one man doing all the voices)
Tim Weisberg ("Can we drop off Tim Weisberg now?")
Dr. John ("Tom Cruise IS Dr. John.")
Earl Campbell ("He's got Earl Campbell thighs.")

Earl Campbell was a star running back for the Houston Oilers in the late '70s and early '80s. #34.

Thanks, Scott. Anyone else? (I suppose I could just do research, but I'm lazy.)

Mike C.:

Tim Weisberg is a musician who plays the flute. About twenty years ago he teamed up with Dan Fogelberg to do an album called "Twin Sons of Different Mothers" (a reference to the fact that they looked a lot alike).

On DVD as of 11/20!
see Rhino Records.

... and the haunting Torgo theme plays...

I'd also like to add two more connections to Les Miserable: "I don't know how to LOVE him.", and Al Unser, Jr: "Mr Unser, we're ready for you. Mr. Unser?"

Some of my favorites:
"*HONK HONK* Way to go Steeeeve!"
"Thank God they got a roll bar."
"Ambiguity is scary."
"And the negotiations continued well into the night."
"After a thorough search of the first room . . ."
"Maybe she tunneled out."
" 'Honey, open the door' 'I can't I'm waiting for Mike' "
"He tampered in God's domain . . ."
"Someone left a cake out in the rain!"
"Shut up, kid, your poodle is compost."
"The man yes. The child no. Cheese maybe."
"You have failed us Torgo, and for this you must DIE!"
"Someone get that cat off the piano."

Gee, this is starting to get long. But you probably get the idea that I really hated/loved this movie. It has become a classic in my circle of friends at school. One of my friends even dressed up as Torgo for Character Day. We've done all this research into it. The budget for the movie was, I think, $18,000. They had one camera, with no sound capability. Apparently every voice in the movie is actually only three people talking.

Some really fun websites are Torgo.org and http://students.cs.byu.edu/~dpardoe/personality/manospersonality.html. The second one is an extremely funny test about which character from "Manos" you are.

Q, I believe that first one you mention is from Jesus Christ, Superstar, and not Les Miserables.

Dr. John is a musician, but I'm not sure if that is what is being referenced. What is the context of that line?

Maybe he played the haunting Torgo theme?

*tries to imagine a Dr. John version of the Torgo theme* Yikes.

One of my favorite jokes was when the family sees the creepy statue on the mantle. Joel comments "look, he has a little shrine to Ba'al." Ba'al was an ancient Phoenician god mentioned in the Old Testament.

Torgo in that shot looks like a cross between Tom Cruise and Dr. John.

I think the joke after Michael shoots the Master is "at Beneficial," referring to ads for Beneficial Saving Bank.

Here are some other fun lines.

"Every frame of this movie looks like someone's last known photo."
"When Carnies Flirt."
"What is he expecting, a big On/Off switch?"
"It's a Frank Frazzetta of Frank Zappa."
"I am bemused by this plucky painting."
"God, I look like Jack Klugman."
"Smoke on the weirdo!"
"He could fill out jodhpurs like regular pants."
"Fling her! Sidearm! Go for distance!"
"Now you look like Maude with a hellbeast."
"You mean Estelle Getty?"
"The dog is sharp again, Mommy."
"Kids worship the darnedest things."
"Pat Benetar and Tricia Nixon."
"I'm Tom Bodett. We'll leave a pyre on for you."
"Thy rod and thy staff discomfort."
"Marilyn Quayle in Baby Doll."
"What? Is Torgo juggling?"
"Torgo's giving him a snuggy."
"Come on Satan. Pick up, I know you're there."
"Arise my wives, and iron my workshirt."
"I'm gonna hit the stain."
"Next on ESPN, full-contact nightgown wrestling."
"What happened to the bright young Torgo I hired?"
"The Jamaican wings are ready."
"I have got a Torg-over."
"Hey, that's a man's hand, not a sparkler."
"I'm just not all that curious. Let's get some hash browns."
"Wait a minute, did this movie just lap itself?"
"Where's Torgo? We came to see Torgo."
"You know, it's been two hours but this pizza's still pretty warm."

I also enjoy when Tom starts prattling during the scenes of those two women driving.

Beneficial's ads used to run thusly:

"At Beneficial...(boom boom) you're good for more
It's great to know... (boom boom) you're good for more..."

After all these years, I finally got to see this. I bought the DVD with this and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians a couple nights ago and threw it on in one of the dorm buildings' main dayrooms last night. I'll have to watch it again soon, because for some reason MST3K episodes seem funnier when I'm not the only one watching.

Anyway, this movie is as bad as everyone says. I actually didn't laugh a whole lot because it isn't one of those so-bad-it's-funny movies, this was just painful, and the 90 minutes seemed like a lot more. The bad editing (sometimes the camera seems to jump), the music which starts and stops abpruptly, the couple making out who had nothing to do with the story...it's just a big ol' mess.

For some reason I thought that Torgo's theme song was funny. At the end when Torgo delivers a pizza to Dr. F. and Frank, the music came on and I just burst out laughing and couldn't stop. Even when I was driving back to my building, I was running out of breath laughing because of that song!

sometimes the camera seems to jump

That's because the camera could only record 30 seconds of film at a time, or so the story goes, hence the jumpiness of all the footage which they had to glue together afterwards!

Trust me, Tom, Torgo's theme will be in your head for days, and you'll soon stop laughing ...

This movie was originally made as a bet that a film could be done for under $20,000

They lost.

Apparently, an indie film which is a biopic of director Hal Warren is soon to be released.