This is definately one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life.

"We'd pray for you, but we haven't invented God yet."

And of course, the amazing Ator song.

And let us not forget:

'Well, i guess it's all up to the dog - No, Marmaduke! Not the triple overhand stitch! Bad dog!'

Really Dull Old Guy: 'And when you seem to have reached the ends of the earth...'
Crow: 'Ask for Earl.'

'Geez, Tolkien couldn't follow this plot!'

RDOG: 'Come over here...'
Crow: 'Where the camera went.'

'Hey, it's the cast party for Cats! Look, there's Betty Buckley - and she's eating Dick Van Patten!'

'Hold onto those handrails! I invented them for a reason!'

'Uh, like, have you seen two guys with capes?'

[During the credits] ''The Hills Have Eyes'...but they have glaucoma right now.'

And on and on...i can just picture the MST3K writers previewing this film and leaping to their feet yelling 'GOLDMINE!!!'

I know that Betty Buckley played Grizabella in the Broadway Cats (and IMNSHO wasn't all that good), but who was Dick Van Patton?

Dick Van Patten and Betty Buckley starred together in TV's "Eight is Enough".

Another missed opportunity. When RDOG's daughter was shot in the chest, one of them should have said, "I'm not quite dead yet."

Hah, I just found out what RDOG stood for. It's true, that guy could put anyone to sleep!

Miles O' Keefe was never heard from again, alas slain by his former sidekick Dong, I mean Thong.

But not before he achieved a certain cheezy notoriety by co-starring in the Bo Derek version of 'Tarzan the Ape Man'. (The one where Jane's clothes, er, disintegrate while she and Tarzan swing thru the jungle. 'Nuff said.)
Incidentally, RDOG's flashback from hell is actually a recap of the first movie (title forgotten) in the series of which 'Cave Dwellers' is part II.

And a few more great lines (sorry - the movie's full of 'em!)

Servo: So, let's recap the action so far -
Crow: What action?
Servo: Oh, yeah. Moving right along...

Opening narration:...But there were in those times a few who seemed to have been touched by a divine fire...
Joel: And they're in AA now.

RDOG: But intelligence is not the only path to enlightenment...
Crow: There's also fan dancing! Woo-hoo!

Joel: Hmmmm...'Objects in shield are closer than they appear.'

\i(As the cave-people battle)}
Joel: C'mon out, everybody's evolving and stuff. It's really neat!
Crow: Yeah - Grog just threw a bone into the air and it turned into a spaceship!
Joel: Okay, now, everybody get in line - the Time-Life photographer's here!

How about:

"Theory of flight?? I'll teach you the theory of fist!!"

"C'mon those moon boots went out in the 70s!"

"Thanks a lot Dong! I'll bake you a rice cake with a saw in it buddy."

The meat slammers sketch was highly amusing!!

What was it with the opening and closing credits?! Why did they appear to have been taken from a different movie altogether?!

For days after I’d watched this tape I’d find myself constantly humming idly and then suddenly bursting out singing, “Ator flies … and so does my heaaa-a-aaart”!

My favourite lines:
“What do you, the viewers at home, think?”
“Oh Jeez, this has more pauses than a Pinter play.”
“Woah, look out, it’s wet there, I just mopped.”
“Got a crazy idea, boss, let’s make a giant cigar out of her.”
Ator: “First you must prove to us if you are the daughter of the Great One.” Crow: “If you can look bored and speak haltingly, you’re in.”
“This fog’s starting to obscure the action.” “What action?”
“Pardon us, did you see a little tiny fox run through here?”
And the line that I have to rewind and watch again each time cos it makes me laugh so hard: “Dinnng … dong.”

This was the first tape I saw with Joel in it, and it was only after seeing some other tapes that I wondered: were the guys really under-rehearsed for this one? They seemed to almost flub several lines, and Joel often seemed to be reading from cue cards during the host segments.

Callie, Joel always sounds like he's reading off cue cards, in the theatre and out. I'm not certain whether it's intentional or just a mannerism of Joel Hodgson's.

As for the credits...both 'Cave Dwellers' and 'Pod People' were given new credits - featuring, inexplicably, scenes taken from other really bad horror flicks - when they were repackaged for video distribution by the same company.
'Pod People' is a European film and presumably needed English-language credits. I'm not certain if that's Cave Dwellers's excuse as well.

Fun (if slightly pathetic) addendum to the above: A friend who's a bad-movie buff once came back from a convention with the signature of the guy who starred in the film that was reused as 'Pod People's' credit sequence. Apparently the guy now makes a living cashing in on his (extremely) tenuous connection to MST3K. Sheesh.

Incidentally, glad to see you got your videos OK. Looking forward to more comments.

I'm having the time of my life, Kerrie, though I'm not getting much sleep! The first few tapes arrived one or two at a time but on Monday a box set (3 tapes), two separate tapes and two brand new "Stargate SG-1" videos all arrived! I was really torn what to watch first, and haven't got more than five hours' sleep each night since!

I'm trying to watch each tape several times before posting my favourite lines, otherwise I'd be putting three or four entries on each page here!

From the couple of tapes I watched yesterday for the first time, I see what you mean about Joel often looking for cue cards but he seemed to be at his worst in Cave Dwellers. I was starting to wonder if he was really tired [or perhaps even tired as a newt ;-) ] but diplomatically decided that they may have been under-rehearsed for this episode.

Cave Dwellers was produced by an Italian film company (these sort of movies were quite common in Italy at the time).

MST3K did some other films that were repackaged by the same company (I believe that these particular packagings are public domain, so that Best Brains didn't have to get permission to use them). The only ones I can think of right off are Stranded in Space (originally The Stranger) and Space Travellers (originally Marooned, which actually won an Oscar for special effects).

Excellent sketches in this one--the early Joel ones do appear to have the best ones in my opinion.

The beginning is fun (the new names), especially since it references one of my favorite personalities, Chuck "the Man" Woolery.

I also LOVED the opening credits sketch, especially the new credits, including "Evil John Saxon-type Guy." The giving complicated names to non-complicated things just seems abrupt, though.

Miles O'Keefe recently appeared on "So Graham Norton" on BBC America. Surprise, he didn't come off as a big jerk! He was even set up on a date with an Irish woman who wanted to meet Tarzan. It was actually pretty funny.

According to my friend the bad movie buff (see above), Miles in real life is much more intelligent than his acting career would indicate. Apparently he's even taken to producinghis own films because he was tired of the roles he was being offered.

Meanwhile...Some random thots from a recent viewing of the video:

-I don't usually feel sorry for the actors stuck in these movies, but the guy playing RDOG (Charles Borromel?) has always inspired a vague sense of pity. He just looks like too nice a guy to have this happen to his career.

-Which leads to something I do always wonder about: Do the makers of these films ever actually look at the rushes, or whatever, before they go to release?
For instance, I just can't believe that nobody stood aside, took an objective look at the Bad Guy's headgear, and didn't realize how awesomely stu pid it was. Same thing with Ator and Dong...erm, Thong...and their 'improv exercises.' (And don't even get me started on the heroine's liquid eyeliner!)

-I'm assuming that in better sword'n'sorcery flicks the swordfights are choreographed so that the actors aren't very obviously trying to avoid hurting each other...Then again, I'm also assuming there are better sword'n'sorcery films in the first place.

-According to Ken Begg at jabootu.com, this film is in the grand tradition of Italian action flicks in which the bad and good guys stand around holding interminal debates on the nature of evil...or something with one another. Check out his very funny review of 'Supersonic Man at the site - in fact check out this site in general, it's hilarious - for a fuller discussion.

- When Lisa Foster's name comes up in the credits, Crow chirps, "Hey - Jodie Foster's sister! I'd shoot DONALD Regan to prove my love for Lisa Foster!" While laughing a lot at the line, I've wondered whether he was...nahhh, he must have been kidding. There's no way Jodie would've seen a relative be reduced to cheap Italian sword'n'sorcery flicks...is there?

-Then again, maybe Lisa's the black sheep of the family. She certainly isn't the one with the acting talent, anyway. Her pauses are all weird, suggesting she's reading her lines phonetically.

A couple more fun riffs:

Crow (as Ronald Reagan) "Welcome to Death Valley Days. The driver's either missing, or he's dead!"

Tom: "So...you live around here much?"

Crow (as a samurai in whiteface jumps into shot: "Look out! It's Koko the Terrible!"

Joel: (watching Ator glide improbably thru the heavens): "I'm the luckiest boy in the world!!"

Joel: "Who is this gentle stranger with pecs like melons and knees of fringe?"

Crow: "Did he mention he's huge? He does that."

I heard that the "driver is either missing or he's dead" is from another MSTed film. Anyone help?

Miles O'Keefe in "The Sword of Valiant" was the worst piece of drek I have ever seen. We watched it in my english class because it was based (loosely, very loosely, almost unrecognizably) on "Sir Gawain and the Green Knight." Even Peter Cushing, John Rhys-Davis, and Sean Connery couldn't save this movie. When my teacher passed the box around, I saw who was playing Gawain (O'Keefe0 and told the woman next to me that it was going to be very, very bad. After the movie, she said it was far worse than I said it was.

Sorry about that, O'Keefe induced traumas can lead to bitter tirades.

I don't know what movie it originated from, MikeC, but it was also in "Godzilla vs. Megalon."

Here's a few more good ones.
"Now we call this The Wong Dwellers."
"Check it out. I made it in shop class, it's a letter opener."
"Give my mustache to Trevor."
"What is this, B.C. law?"
"You know the snake isn't slimy at all."
"That's because he's made of velour."
"Who's that behind the Foster Grants? It's Og!"
"Ator Thomas Peterson, you get down here right now."
"Ator, your cape is Fabulous!"
"I want a Barney Clark bar."
"Hire-a-thug."
"She's making flashpowder from her own filth."
"Walk like an Egyptian, konk-a-chonk."
"Hey, Chickenhead. Hey, Chickenhead."
"I'm the prettiest man in the Middle Ages. My, my, my."
"Always knew I'd be an Apostllllllle!!"
"I landed on my 8-sided dice."
"You don't find me repugnant, do you?"
"Stupid rock. Stupid, stupid rock."
"Oh, observational humor."
"God, I love Seinfeld."

Mean John Saxon-type guy: “Why did your daughter fly like an arrow straight towards the sun?”
Tom: “Ooh, good metaphor!”

Ator: “I don’t understand.”
Crow: “We’re not surprised!”

Ator: “They’re invisible!”
Joel: “I don’t believe it – they were too cheap to hire villains!”
Tom: “Hey, why don’t you pick on someone your own opacity?!”

Tom: “The reason this scene is so good is because we care about the characters.”
Crow: “We do. I mean, we do?!”

Ator (to Meela): “Your father would have done the same.”
Crow: “Wear a tiny leather bikini?!”

“This is the Pillage People!”

Ator: “I’ve only one thing to say.”
Crow: “Plastics!”

Mean John Saxon-type guy: “Is that Ator up there?”
Tom: “Or are you just glad to see me?”

“That’s a nice well-lit secret passage!”

"Whoa! They wandered into a Kurosawa movie!"

Now, why has no one used this forum in a long time?

Anyway one of my favorite scenes comes in this episode. The reaction to seeing the hang glider for the first time.

Must really be an obscure movie.

Wikipedia gave me nothing.

It's listed on IMDB as The Blade Master.