Cameron watches Petro turn into a wolfman
“A cure for baldness at last!”
“Now he's his own best friend!”

Cameron: “You also were one of those stupid fools who raised their voice against me.”
Tom: “I feel like he's talking to us!”

Cameron: “An army of wolfmen, fearless, raging ...”
Crow: “... shedding.”
Cameron: “Every man a snarling animal.”
Crow: “And an army of people behind ‘em with pooper scoopers.”
Cameron: “Men who are governed by one collective thought: the animal lust to kill without regard to personal safety.”
Joel and the Bots (simultaneously): “Republicans?”

“Hey, it looks just like the front of the Munsters’ house.”
“Without the charm.”

“Now I’m gonna go and turn my daughter into a woodchuck.”

Farmer: “The old plough mule like to kicked my head off.”
Crow: “I’d like to do the same thing.”

Jed: “I never seen anything so awful in my life.”
Farmer: “What are you talking about?”
Crow: “The first part of the movie! It was terrible!”

Blaine: “What good can come from tampering with the normal laws of nature?”
Joel: “Teflon?”
Tom: “Microwave milkshakes?”
Crow: “Room air fresheners!”

Blaine: “Mingling the blood of man and beast is downright sacrilege.”
Joel: “Tell that to the NFL!”

“It’s kind of like an early music video, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, before they invented action.”
“Or Paula Abdul.”

Petro is in the car
“Guys, if he turns into a werewolf, is he gonna want to stick his head out of the window?”

Petro has Fitzgerald’s body draped over his shoulders
“Well, I guess it’s OK; humans have mink stoles.”
“Do a helicoptor spin!”

“This movie really kicks into high gear, I bet, right about now ... well, maybe not.”
“Does the word ‘plodding’ mean anything to anyone?”