No Question "Manos, the Hands of Fate."

I concur.

Yeah, just add Torgo to any movie and that'll drop the quality down by about 1000% which didn't do very much good for Manos.

The worst I've ever seen was Invasion of the Neptune Men, but then I've never seen Manos...

Nathan Trust Me You dont want to see Manos. The guy who made the "film" used to work in ferertilizer. Also, during the host secequences Dr. F and TV's Frank both apogized for showing Joel the film. It stunk.

No, it was "The Castle of Fu Manchu." It made everyone cry, and reduced the Mads to babbling idiots.

Invasion of the Neptune Men is a close second; I'm still trying to figure out the "plot."

Manos? That is bad, but Hobgoblins is worse. A man in pink shorts and some wiry lanky prostitute can't be beaten with a man with pads on his knees or wierd music.

I would have to say that Prince of Space was second for me. The only reason that it isn't worse than Manos though is that Krankor's laughter was so funny that it took away some of the pain.

Are we talking about the worst movie or the worst MST3K episode? In my opinion, the worse the movie is, the better the chance that the episode will be good.

Errruhhmm, not always so. Sometimes the movie is so wretched, so bereft of art, you can hear the writers struggling to find something funny to say. They had that problem with "Radar Secret Service" and "Invasion of the Neptune Men."

Mike: Yes they have that problem too on "Manos" I am sure that in "Manos" Dr. F and Frank apogizle for showing the film to Joel. IT is probably their way of apogizling to the audience too.
And of the Mike era the worse film I think was "Hobgoblins".

Nathan: it's the worst movie. And I have noticed that fact. It does not always apply, though, like Mike said. One example is "Space Mutiny" the movie was so bad that the jokes just became little voices in the background of the wretchedness. That is just my opinion.

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-up Zombies -- it can't get much worse than that, although "Jack Frost" comes close....

I loved "Jack Frost", and all the Russian/Finnish movies. They show the real reason the Soviet Union collapsed--everyone must have been on drugs! I mean, how else do you explain the bizarre stories and images?

It must be Teenagers From Outer Space, or else I will interrogate you all... WITH TORTURE!

Do you think the actors and producers of TFOS realized they were making a crappy movie, or did they believe this was a bold artistic statement?

Either way, I pity them.

Nope, sorry, you're all wrong. Worst movie they ever watched was Cave Dwellers. No plot, no continuity, I'm sorry, it stunk worse than two week old gouda.

Best episode was Mitchell. Watch it once and tell me that you didn't completely bust up every time they made a joke about Joe Don Baker and booze, or Joe Don Baker's intelligence, or Joe Don Baker's figure. And if the baby oil scene doesn't make you want to laugh until your lungs come out your nose, you are a very boring individual.

I can see how you can think Cave Dwellers, Jack Frost, or Incredibly strange creatures was the worst, but it didn't hurt, Hobgoblins hurt.

Now Hobgoblins was problibly the worst movie I have ever seen.

Bob Then you have never seen "Manos, the hands of fate." Trust me It is not for the faint of heart.

What about "Riding with Death" where right in the middle of the movie they give up the whole plot of 'riding with death?'

Well, there is still riding and death in the 2nd half, just a different kind. That, however, was the least of the problems with this movie.

What was the really bad Demi Moore movie that they did? -- And no, it *WASN'T* Striptease!

Master Ninja, the first half.

Hands down, Robot Monster! "To be like the HU-man, to think like the HU-man, to live like the HU-man!" Okay, Manos WAS probably actually even worse than this, I just threw it in for variety's sake.

Let's see now..."Hobgoblins" was an utterly terrible movie, but a great episode. I have a special fondness for it because it was the first MST3K ep I saw all the way through. "Jack Frost" was a great episode, too, and while the movie was lame, it can't touch, say, "Hobgoblins" for utter badness.

From this season, "Future War," "Horrors of Spider Island" and "Final Justice" really hurt. I have got to see "Mitchell," though. Was that one released on tape?

Yes, you can find all that Joe Don Baker goodness at many stores near you, or at amazon.com, I guess.

I wonder why they never did "Plan Nine From Outer Space" - I guess that is the one movie which is just funnier all by itself - any riffing would be superflous.

My pick as worst is Manos. It's one of the rare few episodes I couldn't stand to watch twice. Another really bad one was "The Girl in Lover's Lane". Big Stoopid's girlfriend getting offed made me angry (as it did the MST writers).

I wonder why they never did "Plan Nine From Outer Space"?

Probably couldn't get the rights.

I wonder why they never did "Plan Nine From Outer Space"?

Actually, They say in the Amazing Colossal Episode Guide that it would be to easy so they didn't want to.

They did Ed Wood's Bride of the Monster, which is nearly as bad as Plan 9.

I am surprised nobody mentioned RED ZONE CUBA. I rather watch Manos and Fu Manchu back to back than watch that stinker again. The editing was done with the finesse of a chainsaw. It had John Carradine singing in probably one of his last movies before dying from acute alcoholism. The plot made absolutely no sense. Apparently Cuba is just a short trek from New Mexico. There is absolutely no character you can like, except maybe the Castro impersonator. The protagonist you are supposed to like ends up killing his comrades, robbing a general store and murdering and possibly raping the lady at the store.
BLECH BLECH BLECH


No wonder Mike cracked and thought he was Carol Channing. Poor guy.

I haven't seen too much MST3K, but I think The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman was absolutely putrid. It didn't have anything resembling a plot and the acting was even worse than that in the cheating short that preceded it. BTW, is that Batwoman supposed to be connected in any way with the Batman of DC Comics or is it just a coincidence?

I just saw Wild Wild World of Batwoman yesterday, and I have to withdrawl my vote for Hobgoblins. I never thought that a movie could have topped that movie filled with scumbags and the song "Fish Pickers".

BTW I don't know for sure, but DC comics did sue them to change the movies title to "She was a Hippie Vampire," so they obviously thought it was.

Lunier, I've changed my mind about The Wild Wild World of Batwoman and now consider Red Zone Cuba to be the worst by a long shot. Another complaint against that one is that the sound editor had no clue. The background music seemed to have been stuck in randomly because it never even remotely fit what was happening on the screen. BTW, when did the protagonist rape that woman? I must have missed it.

I just saw The Incredibly Strange Creatures etc. etc. the other day, and I have to say (given that I've only seen the Sci-Fi episodes) that that one has to be pretty high on the list of worst movies. It really hurt...

"Ah, good old-fashioned nightmare material!"

Ah, Horrors of Spider Island, anyone?
And let's not forget Future War, which may not have been the worst but it was trash nonetheless.

Yeah, "Horrors of Spider Island" really started to hurt after a while. I like Crow's line: "I'm past wondering if there's a point to this movie. I'm wondering if there's a point to anything."

And "Future War" holds the dubious distinction of making the least sense of any movie I've seen on MST3K...

Ok Here are my opinions if you would like them or not.

The Castle of Fu Manchu and Robot Monster: I haven't seen these in a very long time so I can not comment on them.

Manos: This movie was so bad I couldn't sit through it from the first time I watched it, all of the re-runs, until the show was canceled and I rented it at blockbuster, to see the entire film. So it gets some points. Easily the worst of the Joel era films.

Red Zone Cuba: It had no point I rented it and watched it 4 times to try to understand the plot. It still makes no sense.

The Wild Wild World of Batwoman: Great in its ultra campieness. It at least knew it was going to be a bad campy movie unlike others.

TISCTDABMZ: Very Very Very Painful. Dark and disturbing. Gets high marks for having every single character being oily and disturbing.

Russo Finish Co-Productions: What are you talking about these things are GREAT! They are fun and imaginative compared to stuff like She-Creature. Also you get a bunch of Lord Of the Rings jokes. also you get memorable scenes like the tapestry in The Sword and the Dragon or the mystery that is the Sampo.

Horror of Spider Island: One of the most pointless episodes ever. The movie was painful but the riffing was fun and Tom and Crow breaking down with all of the woman in their underwear was great "Shouldn't there be two old guys in lab coats talking now?"

Neptune Man and Prince of Space: PoS was kind of fun it didn't take it self seriously and had much more of an "epic" storyline then Neptune Men (he actually went into outer space). Its kids were fun, one of them actually wore PANTS! Its "biggest" problem was Krankor and his men's lack of underwear. Neptune Men's leading kids were disturbing with all of them being interchangeable (except for Piggy) and a "hero" that didn't do anything.

Future War: This one is painful, nothing happens and the plot makes no sense, although the Hero in cave man state is hysterical as is the way his shirt "falls" off.

Hobgoblins: This movie gets my vote for the worst just because it effected me more then any other. The movie is painful to watch, its message is horrible "slutting is fun!" and every character is unlike able, and the creatures are just bad "Big Man! You just strangled a plush toy!" The worst part is when ever I watch Gremlins I think of this movie! Forever ruining the it!

Some more

The Creeping Terror: It is just bad when you loose 60% of your dialog and have to have the narrator fill in.

The Incredible Milting Man: Just gross and disgusting "is this the incredible part?"

And the worst shorts,

A Date With Your Family, actually not that bad just the most unrealistic and has the best riffs "this scene should have been edited out I apologize"

A Case of Spring Fever: Did anyone in there right mind hate springs SO much they had to make this short? Zinc seems to be more relevant then this!

Home Economics Story: Just great, show it to someone who is in the school that can be considered to be Home Economics for a great laugh.

A Case of Spring Fever: Did anyone in there right mind hate springs SO much they had to make this short? Zinc seems to be more relevant then this!

Actually, I think the point was to plug Chevy vans. Which is still no excuse for unleashing upon the unsuspecting world the evil that is Coily... ;-)

(The riffing in this one was great, though. "You'll be the first to die!")

Based on the Rhino videos only, i'm casting a vote for 'Angel's Revenge'. Duuuuuuuumb plot, beyond-lousy acting, seeing Jack Palance and Jim Backus humilate themselves like that...and they all seem to take the whole thing so SERIOUSLY, for all the world as if they're remaking 'Hamlet' instead of ripping off some already-inane TV show.
Watching this dreck was the only time i can remember developing a real need to cause intense pain and suffering to a movie's creators. Even the guys' riffing couldn't cheer me up.
Runners-up: 'Red Zone Cuba' (although trying to fathom what was going on in any given scene got to be pretty entertaining, in a perverse way) and 'The Unearthly'.

"Manos" vs. "Red Zone Cuba". I've seen both, and I'll have to say that "Manos" is funnier as an episode, but "Red Zone Cuba" is the worst film. "Manos" tells a story, albeit it shockingly dull and inept, while "Red Zone Cuba" is apparently some insane, unrrelated thoughts that passed through Coleman Francis' head.

albeit "manos" was supremely wretched and coleman francis films were good way to experience temprorary ulcers, they have done some really horrible ones. Some are ROBOT HOLOCAUST, THE SLIME PEOPLE, RING OF TERROR, ROCKET ATTACK USA.

it's still fun to share the pain through the show.

"The Creeping Terror" is a strong contender for "dullest" film, and "The Sidehackers" a strong contender for "funniest film sans riffing."

I have to say, owning only all of the Rhino eps minus Amazing Colossal Man, and a few taped eps from Sci-Fi channel, my knowledge is somewhat limited.

However, Hobgoblins easily tops it for me. It is so incredibly bad that I can never watch it again.

Manos, IMHO, is so funny that the badness of the movie is made up for. Red Zone Cuba I just got through watching (again) this morning, and I must say the Coleman Francis films as a whole are fantastic. I did think that the host segments on RZC were really weak, though.

My second-worst ep would have to be Blood Waters of Dr. Z. It's so... BORING. The movie just plods along being icky and washed-out-looking, and the guys' riffs don't really do much for me. But it's still better than the nightmare that is Hobgoblins.

M@ Nelson
(who desperately misses MST3K)

Uhmmmm...Matt...you meant to say that 'the Coleman Francis MST3K episodes are fantastic', right?
I mean, you didn't really think that 'Red Zone Cuba' itself was...naaahhhh. <sound of head shaking in disbelief>.

Overdrawn At The Memory Bank: It's a great episode but, man... The thought of watching that film outside MST3K brings me out in hives, it's so excruciatingly bad.

Some more comments on "worst film."

Note that in "Cave Dwellers," Joel says it is the worst film they have seen. Granted, it's only in the third season, but this is no worse than your typical "Conan" film.

I just saw "I Accuse My Parents," and while it's not a classic, it features a plot that makes sense, and at times some effective acting, making it one of the best movies I have seen done on MST3K (right up there with "Bloodlust")

MAIN CONTENDERS FOR WORST FILM (that I have seen)
*Manos: Hands of Fate
*Red Zone Cuba
*The Creeping Terror--at least the other films had DIALOGUE!
*The Wild World of Batwoman--this doesn't even tell a coherent story
*The Brain That Wouldn't Die--for pure sleaziness alone

MikeC:

What about "Attack of the the Eye people"? If they can't even get the title right what hope does the rest of the movie have?

And of COURSE I meant that the Coleman Francis episodes were great, sheesh. The movies?? Gad. Don't make me retch! ;)

M@ Nelson

My vote goes to The Wild Wild World of Batwoman as the worst movie. The riffing was fun but the movie itself was just appalling. Even the actors didn't look like they understood the plot - they seemed to be making no effort at all but appeared to be just going through the motions to earn the money. Even the actors in Manos made more effort than these did!

I'd have to say that season 10's "Track of the Moon Beast" is my least favorite Mistied movie. It's also my least favorite episode. It's just sooooooooo tedious. There is absolutely nothing redeeming about it. I think they mainly did it to appease Paul Chaplin who had apparently been begging for them to do it for years.