It's certainly the Moderator's prerogative to take this down (I'm still not certain why the original conversation on this topic was lost). But as far as I'm concerned, some of the funniest - and most fascinating - MST3K moments come from the shorts.

And as for the shorts themselves...somebody needs to be held accountable for these monsters.
Anybody seen Rhino's 3rd collection yet? What was that "dream-sequence-of-tomorrow" thing all about, anyway?

I now have all three Shorts videos but was bitterly disappointed that "Mr B. Natural" wasn't among them, especially when a review of one of the tapes on Amazon.com said that it was!

I agree that the shorts can often be funnier than the movie itself - you find yourself wondering why on earth anyone bothered making them and for whose benefit. The one (the title escapes me for the moment) where an angel tries to persuade a delivery guy to say that delivering bread isn't the most fun he's ever had comes immediately to mind! The other one that sticks in my memory is a miserable semi-religious thing where the moral seems to be that if you have any kind of fun, you'll pay for it with your health or possibly even your life! Even the riffing didn't stop me feeling almost suicidal at the end of that one!

My only 'complaint' about the Shorts videos is that they're too ... well, short! I'm just getting into the swing of things when they end!

Mr. B is one a tape that you can buy from the Brains thru the info club, I bleive.

I just spent a happy weekend watching all three Shorts videos and, at Wes’ suggestion, am posting all my favourite lines here.

313 Earth Vs the Spider
Using Your Voice
“This man is wearing a push-up bra. Now he is pleasing.”
“And get yourself a good wire rack.”
“Speech! Speech! Lip and tongue action!”

315 Teenage Caveman
Aquatic Wizards
“What’s ‘molentum’?”
“And the incentive to stay up is … crocodiles!”
Narrator: “The pyramid makes a good starter in this department.” Tom: “That would be the Department Of Putting Things On Top Of Other Things.”

Catching Trouble
Narrator: “They leave the dugout and go into the Glades afoot.” Joel: “With Emo Phillips in a dress!” Followed by a brilliant impression of Emo from Crow!
Narrator (after his ‘boyfriend’ (!) has caught two wildcats): “What’s next?” Joel: “Hurting the people you know and love?” Crow: “Chasing rabbits on a mini-bike til their hearts explode?”
“Man, would I love to see that cub’s mom come through the woods right now.”
“Ross tries to towel away the evil but nothing doing.” “Next he’s going on a panda raid.”
“ ‘Eh what’?! Is he Terry-Thomas all of a sudden?”

317 Viking Women & the Sea Serpent
The Home Economics Story
This was a very long short! Was the movie itself shorter than usual to make room for it?

“It’s here already! Oh shoot, I mailed it to myself.”
“Dear, why are you packing your father’s things?”
Narrator: “Surprising how everyone can make such interesting original designs.” Joel: “While Kay struggles with basic motor skills.”
“I’m a Q-Tip, what are you?”
Narrator: “And afterwards you met the gang.” Crow: “And you really got slammed and apologised all day Monday.”
Narrator: “So you all drove down to the train to see them off.” Tom: “And to re-enact the last scene from Anna Karenina.”

407 The Killer Shrews
Junior Rodeo Daredevils
It was good to hear the “And the crowd goes wild,” “Yay” routine after having read it so many times in Web Site Number 9 MSTings.

510 The Painted Hills
Body Care and Grooming
Narrator: “Look at that hair, that skin, that mouth …” Tom: “Those … nose.”
“That’s an Indian rub alright. You got a little sister?”
Narrator: “There are other good aids for cleaning your skin. One of these is cleansing cream.” Tom: “One of these is nitric acid. Choose wisely.”

514 Teenage Strangler
Is This Love?
“Besides, you’re a Romulan.”
Liz: “Are you gonna phone your mum and dad about getting engaged?” Crow (as Peggy): “Actually, they’re married already.”
“He’s no football player! He might be in the swing choir!”
“Watch out for snakes!”
Closing credits: “See the following: ‘How Much Affection?’ ‘When Should I Marry?’” Mike: “‘Know Your Ointments’.” Tom: “‘What’s That Down There?’”

520 Radar Secret Service
Last Clear Chance
I didn’t see the opening Host Segment which was quite frustrating as I’d love to know why Crow was in such a state when he went into the theatre!

Cop: “I can say goodbye from here.“ Tom (as cop): “BYE!!!“
“My earlobes won’t stop growing!”
“The world made sense an hour ago!”
“Woah! Almost ran over Kissinger! I’m gonna have to go back!”
Cop: “Many people who have lived through a crossing accident will say …” Tom: “Waaaaaaahh!”
“I’m the impish officer of death.”
“Send for help – the cop won’t leave!”
“Well, I’d tuck you in but you’re … dead.”
“GargantuCop!”

524 12 to the Moon
Design For Dreaming
“That is the nicest oxygen tent I have ever seen.”
“A subpoena? For me?”
“This’ll be the up part to her manic mood swings, I’m guessing.”
“Pregnant woman and Schnauzer optional.”

602 Invasion USA
A Date With Your Family
“What you are watching now should have been edited in the final version. My apologies.”
“Father, I had a feeling today.” “Well, don’t, son.”
Narrator: “Brother seats Junior, then helps Mother to her chair as he would his best girl.” Mike: “The less said about this, the better.”

603 The Dead Talk Back
The Selling Wizard
Narrator: “Manufacturers spend millions on design.” Tom: “Yet this is the result.”
Narrator: “… plus the newest refrigeration method yet developed.” Mike: “Coldness!”
“Meanwhile the Soviets were launching Sputnik!”

608 Code Name Diamond Head
A Day At The Fair
Narrator: “She must see what Mr Olsen is taking to the fair.” Crow (as Mrs Olsen): “Oh, not your gallstones, Henry.”
“No-one can explain why Father is eighty-five.”
“Pickles pack the stands for the pickle races.”
“Watch the boy on the left – his heart’s about to explode … waaait!”
Narrator: “(This tractor) is much like the one Bob’s father has.” Crow: “‘cept this one doesn’t have father’s arm stuck in it.”
Narrator: “The champion’s blue ribbon goes to a girl.” Crow: “The cows are furious!”
“It’s the Man in the Hat exhibit!”

609 Skydivers
Why Study Industrial Arts?
Joe: “You know, it’s fun to have an idea.” Mike: “There, wasn’t that fun?”
Joe: “I like the smell of fresh wood chips and sawdust.” Tom: “I put them in my underwear.”
Bill: “How d’you like this shop course, Joe?” Tom (as Bill): “Could you staple my ears back?”
“I can’t get this thing back in my pants, Earl.”
“Look at this – should I pop this?”
“Why, the cat’s in here.”
“OK, we can use the toaster or the lamp.”
“Oh, the previous tenant didn’t flush!”
Coach: “When I retire I’ll have a ready-made hobby to keep me busy.” Tom (as Coach): “I’ll build giant recipe card boxes.”
“This is the film the boys had to watch and the girls had to go to the gym and watch The Other Film.”

613 The Sinister Urge
Keeping Clean and Neat
(Johnny combs his hair) Narrator: “Your teeth …” Tom: “Comb them too!”
“It’s about three in the afternoon by now!”
“Are you supposed to file open sores with an emory board?”
“Can I carry your soap home from school?”

618 High School Big Shot
Out Of This World
Having only seen this on a Shorts video and so not seeing the opening Host Segment, the giant Servo was intriguing!

“Looks like it’s casual day at 3M.”
“Try new enriched Stuff!”
“Now, we unload the first van at William Conrad’s house.”
“They leave orphaned bread on people’s doorsteps?”
(Whitey sticks her tongue out at Red) Tom (as Red): “No thanks, I use toilet paper.”

623 The Amazing Transparent Man
The Days of our Years
Boy, this was a grim one – was it supposed to be inspirational?! Who was it shown to?! If I’d been a railroad worker and watched this, I’d have gone straight out afterwards and jumped under a train!!

“Oh no, the reverend has killed again!”
“Obey the toaster!”
Reverend: “Call them the wheels of fate or the wheels of chance.” Mike: “Or call them ‘Ernie’.”
“Hey, you dead yet?!”
“Oh, this is terrible, he died minutes before his time.”
“Charlie, does fur run in your family?”
Reverend: “But there is one thing you cannot do.” Mike: “Put your elbow in your ear.”
Mike summed up the apparent moral of this story: “So the leading causes of accidents are joy, sex and old age?”

701 Night of the Blood Beast
Once Upon A Honeymoon
“Lucy, I’m dead!”
“I love it when I get a call in my pants!”
“Hey, now they’ll get immaculate reception!”
“Don’t worry about my carpal tunnel syndrome or anything.”
“The monks of St Gregory work on their next big chart-busting hit.”
Tom summed it up nicely: “What the hell was that about anyway?”

702 The Brute Man
The Chicken Of Tomorrow
“The Bill Clinton Story!”
I had a moment of total ‘eww’ when I realised that for what the narrator whimsically called ‘special photography’, they’d cut open half a dozen eggs to film the chicks’ development. Cute.
“Forty piece chicken nuggets to go.”
“That guy’s escaping disguised as a chicken!”
Narrator: “The bird can enter the trap easily to lay her egg but she can’t get out again until you let her out.” Mike: “There’s no point, it’s just funny!”
“Lick your eggs – or have a friend lick them.”
“They’re all wearing Rembrandt hats!”
“There’s no driver … the chickens are taking over!”

You know, short thoughts got no reason to live.

Finally downloaded Mr. B.Natural off Kazaa...and...whoa. There are no words. You really do have to see (and hear) it to understand the sheer surreal insanity that is 'Mr'B., the Ancient Musical Sprite From the Dark Side of Perky.

Not even Red Zone Cuba is this horrifying. At least the gang managed to riff during RZC; during this short they're frequently reduced to tense silence, interspersed with little strangled yelps ("Joel, I'm scared!")

Other random short thoughts and fun lines:

Using Your Voice:

I wonder if anybody connected with Ferris Bueller's Day Off was made to watch this film in high school. Would explain a lot.

Avuncular prof behind a desk: "Did you know that-"
Crow: "-I have little bunnies painted on my knees? I really do!"

Design for Dreaming

...and suddenly, I understood the 'Augh! It's a salute to Mr. B.Natural line much more clearly...

'It's Holly Goweirdly.'

'I clutched the invitation to my bosoms!'

Holly: "I think that we ought to buy [the Cadillac]..."
Mike [as her escort]: Oh, sure...guess I could always sell my plasma or something...'

'Ach! Dracul!'

'Fonzie's death car!'

'Hey, look - the dead raccoon of Tomorrow.'

'Will somebody invent rock'n'roll, please?'

I wonder what exec at Texaco sat down and though "I've got it! We'll do a short film about chicken and sneek in gasoline propaganda! We'll make millions!!!"

Having just seen Shorts 3, every frame of Design For Dreaming looks like an ironic, New Wave album cover

The "RRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!" acompanying the car with the big grill is great

Posture Pals
"She's kooky, which results in creativity."
"Sorry, Mom-Dad."
"Boppo?!"
"They're gonna put up with this for about half an hour before they kill each other."
"Their chances of being cool are ruined for life."
"They're the Posture Posse."
"Next week, Posture Pope, In Color."

Appreciating Our Parents
"Professor of Family Life, that's an easy major."
"He's in the wrong house."
"Tommy's the Lathe of Heaven."
"It's called Guilt, and boy does it work."
"Magic's easy once you know Mom."
"Here's a dollar. Go buy yourself something pretty."
"Almost forgot something important." "To pay homage to Gorto!"
"She's in what we call a rut."
"Dad pulls the lever at the Big House."
"Here, gotta let you go. Here's your pink slip. Be out of the building by 5."
"Last night he did a ring job on the car."
"Mom, I translated the Beckett play this morning."
"A nickel. Thanks Dad."

A Day at the Fair
"These plucky Kiwanis stand to make a bundle."
"Tell us what they've won, Johnny Olsen."
"Hitler's Death Car."
"No one can explain why Father is 85."
"Later, these moths turn up in the mouths of Bob's victims."
"It's all done behind protective chicken wire."
"Let's go eat something gray."
"Watch the boy on the left. His heart is about to explode."
"Grazing in the grass is a gas."
"It's the Girl Corps."
"Admiral Halsey joins the fun."
"And the Oak Ridge Boys take the stage."
"Dad, I owe Big Lenny 42 large."
"He realizes he had not known cow until this day."
"It's the man in the hat exhibit."
"This is how it feels to ride the big Ferris Wheel." "It's this disappointing."
"You spent your nickel. You're done."

The Home Economics Story
"She was eating cubes of mescaline Jell-o."
"Your Period and Mine, A Lecture."
"How much did that cost? Well, bring it back."
"What would Mom and Dad say?" "Who knows? they only speak German."
"She consulted Robert McNamara. And Ayn Rand."
"So this is Pine City Vo-Tech."
"Who would be her blood enemies? What secret societies would she join? Would she smoke thin black cigarettes and reject the Triune God?"
"See you in four years. No phone calls. A friend always, Dad."
"Two of the ripest tomatoes in town strolled in."
"Kegs will be tapped. Men will be used."
"The Woodstock of the 50's."
"Look, look, look at my crotch! Look, look, look at my crotch!"
"Hat's off to Ray, the whimsical lampshade."
"You're gonna be a short-order cook for truckers in two years."
"Hey look, it's Prince. His Royal Badness when he was just a chubby little white kid."
"What? We have to be subjugated to men?"
"Everyone will die. I will dump pig's blood on Carrie."
"Home Economics, starring Efrem Zimbalist, Jr."
"Dad just dosn't get it."

A Date With Your Family
"Madame DeFarge waits in the living room."
"Brother runs a boy-cleaning service on the side."
"Brother has a tight psychological grip on Junior."
"Salad needs more butter, Mother."
"Brother and Junior greet Dad like they are genuinely glad to see him." "They're not, of course."
"Hi, I'm Betty and I'll be your wife tonight."
"Stomachs knotted like fists."
"Field Marshal Montgomery sits down to dinner. Yes, smashing."
"I can't stress 'unemotional' enough."
"A violent argument erupts over whose day was more pleasant."
"Father feigns eating, draws Junior out, then disowns him."
"I'm moving to Fire Island, dear."
"Well, there it is. Spankings all around."
"Perhaps booze would alleviate this situation."
"And everyone wants to flee the seething cauldron of angst."
"Watch him play butler." "In Remains of the Day."
"This makes me want to heat up a Libbyland dinner and eat in front of the TV."

Junior Rodeo Daredevils
“It’s the Gom Jabbar.”
“Jim Henson’s Misfit Babies.”
“Hey kids, you ever read The Ox-Bow Incident?”
“Jim Henson’s Last Picture Show Babies.”
“And when you come right down to it, this whole rodeo is just another excuse to crawl into a whiskey bottle.”
“Animals are to be bred and Slaughtered!”
“I can’t stop him. I don’t know how he works! Goodbye people, goodbye!”
“Show ‘em cowgirl.” “In the sand.”
“The ironic thing is, Sam’s a vegetarian, but there’s nothing exciting about roping an okra patty.”
“You know some scars don’t heal. Up next, …”
“Go ahead. Strip me of my dignity at age four. What are you looking at?!”
“Now, it’s garbage.”
"He's a movable feast."
“Take the rope off my groin!”
“Oh no! This is wrong! I signed up for debate!”
“That horse has Air Jordans on.”
“First prize, bronze cow chips.”

Cheating
“A Centron production, though we got the idea from another company. Cheating.”
“A young Franz Kafka awaits his fate.”
“For depressing phone sex, call 1-900-Alfalfa.”
“As his parents officially cut ties.”
“Geez, this kid could freak Jamie Gumm.”
“There are not enough bell towers in the world for Johnny.”
“You remember what happened next.” “You committed a mortal sin.”
“Hey, Mary, what’s the answer?!”
“For the first time, Johnny knew real power.”
“I envision a cheating wing.”
“I will bring you down, Johnny.”
“You worked her like a punch press.”
“Put your pencils down and step away from your desk.”
“And so, Dana Plato’s career begins.”
“Have you seen my ribcage?”
“We really should be talking through our lawyers.”
“That you, Student Councilor?”
“I have to bathe Mother.”

Why Study Industrial Arts?
“Because your bad at math.”
“Then I thrust the nail into the soft, yielding wood.”
“The piercing scream of a freshman.”
“I keep Popular Mechanics under my mattress.”
“I feel real good because I’m a craftsman.” “And not a killer.”
“I’m making it for the Grand Wizard.”
“A new-fangled bong.”
“I’m not a Communist.”
“This makes the Army look good.”
“The semi-nude club.”
“Just let me go. Please don’t touch me anymore.”

Catching Trouble
“Ross also plays the role of Li’l Abner in summer theatre.”
“Do not bring your evil here.”
“Wildcat, I think I love you, but I wanna know for sure.”
“Ross is no stranger to raping the land.”
“Ho ho, 23 skiddoo.”
“Bite me. I will prevail. Mine is a noble race.”
“Wait, I hear something living.”
“Throw him down a few times, Ross. What are you, scared or something? Beat him up.”
“Oh, it’s Alice B. Toklas.”
“This is what you get for not being a white male.”
“Yeah, whatever, just give me the bag.”
“They’d be swell playmates for your kids, huh?” “If you like mauled children.”
“Really good read, Ross.”
“Rattlers seek the cool darkness of the palmetto bushes.” “Oh, don’t we all?”
“Sure, the fire kills others, but they’re acceptable losses.”
“Now, it’s off to Neiman-Marcus to become a Paloma Picasso handbag.”
“Seems to me I’d call it a day, or call a taxi.” “Or call PETA.”
“Welcome to the penal colony of French Guiana.”
“Please feed us!”
“Well, Ross, we’re out of here. Personally, we’re disgusted.”

What to Do on a Date
“This is like having your mom tell you about sex.”
“No, you can’t inject puberty. It has to happen over time.”
“Kay’s been missing since last February!”
“But I’ve got a Forever Plaid audition.”
“With each dial, he comes closer and closer to the most humiliating moment of his life.”
“How many ways can I say No?!”
“Sure didn’t think she’d go to a place like that for a date.” “With a loser like me.”
“Boy, this is fun, what with the used lamps and the festoonery.”
“Kay’s worked on the kill floor. She knows where to deliver the blow.”
“The lunch menu?”
“Kay, Kay, Kay. What about my needs?”
“Hey hey, our luggage is here.”
“Why can’t Nick be fun like George is?”
“A sensuous pagan ritual begins.”
“Nick’s got back.”
“Hey, you read the list too.”
“Guys, what’s a weenie roast?”

Last Clear Chance
“It’s your last clear chance for fantastic savings.”
“Jack Kevorkian throws a tailgating party.”
“That heartache that never quite heals.” “Like Psoriasis.”
“I was being spanked by Rod McEwen.”
“When will be married? Before too long.”
“With Betty there, he wasn’t taking any chances.” “Of course, when he’s with Cindy, he don’t care.”
“Hey, my Advocate is here.”
“I danced for Flo Ziegfeld, you know.”
“I’m gonna need another 50. Real shame if something happened to this land?”
“You’re not a black female.”
“You’re spending the night in the barn with your crazy cousin.”
“Stop the Near-Insanity!”
“Iowa P.D. Blue.”
“The world made sense an hour ago.”
“You see, son, we all die alone and afraid.”
“Don’t ever go to the city. It’s dirty.”
“I’m gonna go throw myself in the thresher.”
“Take some bennies.”
“My life is a lie!”
“Now they’re Ma and Pa Topper.”
“I buried the victims right over there.”
“Here’s another hazard of our modern highways that we see all too often.” “Women drivers.”
“Forty percent of all accidents are caused by women’s hinders.”
“I like to pretend I’m an engineer.”
“Trains are blameless, holy creatures.”
“I have no feelings for you. This is a loveless relationship. I’m repulsed by your touch.”
“It has no time to stop for you corn-shucking crackers.”
“Don’t trust others. Turn your back on hope and love.”
“Who gets killed at the crossing?” “We all do.”
“It’s the prequel to In Cold Blood.”
“Doesn’t anyone do any chores on this farm?”
“I have a feeling one of these characters is about to see his own entrails.”
“My plan is working. You will die.”
“Never under any circumstances drive with your butt cheeks.”
“You’re deep, Ernie.”
“Now, I’m gonna grab a little bit of lunch.”
“You’re dead, people are dying everyday.”

Hired, part 2
“Previously, on Hired.”
“Give ‘em H--l, Harry.”
“Work, booze, work.”
“He ripped you a new one every day.”
“I’m beginning to sober up and you’re scaring me.”
“But first, martinis.”
“I’d put these two away for two weeks.” “Whack ‘em, whack’em good.”
“Zintar gets the most sales because he’s a shape shifter.”
“But he bought the flippin’ car.”
“Yeah, maybe I can kiss your butt a little on the way out.”
“Why don’t you punch it, Jimmy? I wanna be in Tijuana by 8 o’clock.”
“Are you now, or have you ever been, a Ford owner?”
“Parent-salesman conferences.”
“Well, my life is a hollow lie.”
“Just buy the car!”
“Name names.”
“Good night. Stay pink, soft and oily.”

Mr. B Natural
"Conn Ltd. and the New Power Generation."
"Conn!!!"
"Hey, leave my father out of this."
"Don't be too sure I wasn't in the garden with Mr. and Mrs. Adam." "You were the snake."
"Is this Liberace's mom?"
"Mr. B, you're hot."
"Buzz was a slacker."
"Conform, conform. Conform, conform."
"I gotta finish my letter to Jodie Foster."
"If only an androgynous man would come visit me."
"Where'd you come from?" "Bellevue."
"Play the Devil's tritone."
"The all-night coke jags in cheap hotel rooms."
"Mr B, shame on you! Have you no sense of decency?"
"I think Oscar Wilde only wished he was this gay."'
"Put away the grease gun and show me something cheap."
"Oh, excuse me, sexless man-woman."
"This trumpet is flatlining."
"Am I hip yet? When do the chicks come around?"
"Hey, if you get near a song, play it."
"What is this, Flight of the Bubblehead?"
"We're white, we're white, we're really, really white."

X Marks the Spot
"Arthur Magee and Molly."
"If you kill yourselves here, we can't kill them over there."
"Commissioner Fudd."
"Impwove twaffic conditions."
"It's Fabulous!"
"If you're going to bury a body in a shallow grave, use quicklime."
"It's Elton John in Hell."
"He did a favor for Sinatra once."
"I stopped a car with my face once, and my forehead's nothing but Bondo."
"He became alarmed by my mottled face and bumpy skull."
"He was higher than Judy Garland."
"We're stranded in space, and we still have to pull jury duty."

Hired
"Is that the John Belushi story?"
"Why does he have to read The Joy Luck Club?"
"Hey, nobody buy a car. Pass it down."
"There's a blue steak and a pitcher of martinis with my name on it."
"Death of a Sales Manager."
"Here's a pitcher of nice cold" "Stoli?"
"I'll be upstairs in my burlap teddy."

Design for Dreaming
"May I come as I am?" "No, you have to come as Geechy Guy."
"I had a near-death experience like this."
"This is a rebuttal to Roger and Me."
"Just because it's futuristic doesn't mean it's practical."
"Wonder what Freud would make of that sunhat."
"I call No Way."
"A Chorus Line 2, The Wrath of Chaka Khan."
"Unfettered Avarice by Madison Avenue."
"This is what happens when you go to a car show with Michael Crawford."
"Stockard Channing as Peter Pan."
"Conspicuous consumption makes our love stronger."

Johnny at the Fair
"Look, the Arc de Full Retreat."
"Johnny's negligent parents let him wander off."
"Run Von Ryan!"
"Joe hits Johnny up for 15 cents due to tax problems."
"Johnny transmogrifies. He's a shapeshifter, and he breaks the fourth seal."
"A whispery man hands him a small package. The first one's free, he says."
"Johnny distracts the tightrope walkers, who fall to certain doom."
"The drugs from the Chemical Wonderland start to kick in."
"Visions of the Mekong Delta flash before his eyes."
"For the first time in his life, Johnny knows real fear."
"Johnny realizes what a lie his life has been."
"Let me out! Attica! Attica!"
"Did I tell you to have this baby?"
"Johnny's parrents blamed each other and never trusted again."

Are you Ready for Marriage?
"Uh, yeah, I'm tired of sex anyway."
"The tepid embrace tells me they're ready for marriage."
"I hope Leopold doesn't find out about this."
"It's just Campustown, Jake."
"I got kicked out of L7."
"Visit your government church."
"Have we entered your fantasy kingdom?"
"Bobby Orr's Electric Marriage, with real marriage action."
"You saw my boing?"
"Honey, this is man talk."
"And if you're not sucesssful?" "There's drinking and porno."
"Gee, Bullwinkle."
"Suddenly, their marriage is The Eiger Sanction."
"Marines, we are leaving."
"Sorry, I was back in Da Nang."
"I worship Cthulhu."
"Hi Roy. Who's the beard?"
"College is going to change everything."
"Never make light of boing, son."

Not a MiSTing, but...

I was doing today's L.A. Times Crossword puzzle. The clue was "In the not too distant future". I was disappointed that the answer was not "Next Sunday AD"