It's basically a silent movie, as the ever-present narrator tells all. There are some stretches of boredom, especially any scene when Mike and the 'Bots fall short with the riffs, but there are some absolutely classic scenes.

Best Bits

*The narrator's at-times goony sense of storytelling--probably best seen when Barney enters Martin's house.

*The scene with the Monster eating the chubby fellow fishing.

*Most of the Monster scenes are pretty good, actually, as there are at least some good riffs about the cheap costume. The scene where he eats El Kabong is a classic, as is "Jackson Pollock" watching numerous kids in cars getting eaten. And then, of course, the sock hop, which contains another strange sub-plot, and lots of clever riffs.

*So you can kill the Monster by running it over with a car? Why didn't anybody else think of that?

*And then of course there's the five-minute, thrilling scene with Martin destroying the fake set.

The skits are pretty darn good, too, with the 'Bots as pretentious poets ("But we're not artists!" "Weeeel, maybe you're not, Michaaaael"), and the "Love, American Style" parody, which seems a little out-of-place, but oh well.

The reason the film's 'silent' is that writer-director-producer Art J. Nelson basically lost the soundtrack!
Actually, going by the account in Son of Golden Turkey Awards, the story of this film's production could make a (probably much better) movie on it's own.
Seems the mysterious Nelson inexplicably blew into some tiny midwestern burg (complete with flashy car and starlet girlfriend) and recruited the local townsfolk with promises of starring roles in a REAL LIVE MOVIE. The movie was duly made (on a budget of about $750), the soundtrack was - as reported - mysteriously lost, and Nelson blew off again into the sunset, leaving sadder-but-wiser townsfolk in his wake.
Over the years the film's become one of the beloved treasures of bad-film fandom, thanks mostly to repeated scenes of victims patiently waiting for the slower-than-molasses-in-january monster to reach them - and then helpfully boosting themselves into it's 'gaping jaws.' I can hardly wait 'till Rhino releases it on video.

It is on video. That's how I saw it--it's on a three pack with "The Sidehackers" and "Bloodlust."

Oops (and I work next to a video store, too!). Thanx for the update.

This has to be one of my favourites – it’s certainly the one I’ve written down the most hilarious lines from, so forgive me if this posting goes on and on and on …

The monster had me half hysterical – you could practically see the people who were operating it, especially the feet of the guy who was at the front. Who on earth thought this would be convincing, even back in the fifties?! The scene that had me giggling hardest was when the monster was approaching the dance hall – it reminded me so much of the scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail when Sir Lancelot attacked Swamp Castle but took forever to get there. It even continued the similarity when, after taking what seemed like half an hour to get to the hall, the monster was suddenly inside.

The Host Segments were superb too: I loved the opening segment of Tom making Mike sign in and out of the Satellite. And Segment Four with Mike listening to the music from the movie had me in fits when, after a long long wait for the punchline, there wasn’t one!

From the movie’s opening sequence:
“Who put hair in the sink?”
“Things I can do with my Spirograph.”
“When spiders drink too much.”
“This is nothing a good wide-tooth comb couldn’t take care of.”
“Looks like the inside of Robert Morley’s nose.”

“Why, it’s not creeping, it’s flipping along just fine.”

Martin: “We should be home in another hour.”
Narrator: “This man’s name is Martin Gordon.”
Tom [as narrator]: “He’ll be home in an hour.”

“Now that we need a narrator he clams up! What’s going on?!”

“I was afraid the alien was gonna be goofy!”

“Well, it is creeping, you gotta give it that.”

Narrator: “A puzzled Ben asked Martin what he made of the craft.”
Martin: “It’s no airplane.”
Tom [as narrator]: “Ben never asked Martin another question.”

“Ah great, a race of ham radio operators.”

Crow (as the monster, approaching the canoodling couple) “I’ll be there in about an hour.”
Then, as the girl: “We have to get out of here, honey, we only have an hour to eat, have sex and then leave.”

“C’mon, honey, let’s crab walk outta here.”

“Hey, if you could help me out by climbing in?”

“Earth girls are gr-easy!”

“The creeping newlywed!”

“Operation Mild Surprise is going really good.”

“It’s not really a tent dress, it’s actually a tent.”

“The first director to realise the dramatic potential of a rectal thermometer.”

“Oh, it’s a Clothes Encounter of the Third Kind!”

“Did anyone in the fifties ever think of running?!”

(The monster approaches the dance hall)
Mike: “Finally, here comes someone with rhythm.”

“Her hinder! It’s out of control!”

Narrator: “A call came through which confirmed Martin’s theory.”
Mike: “This movie sucks.”

Narrator: “Those who experienced that catastrophe and survived would never go there again.”
Tom: “Those who did not survive such a catastrophe also would not go there again.”

Crow (as the monster bounces up and down on top of the car): “Er, Mike?”
Mike: “Well you see when a monster and a small car love each other very much …”

“But if they’re dead they can’t crawl into his mouth like the others.”
(Actually Servo said, “But if they’re not dead …” but that doesn’t work!)

“Mr Monster, you’ve got some leg on your face!”

“The photographer fell on them!”

“Gotta find a petting zoo – there are times when a man needs the touch of a llama.”

“I think I hit on something! Stay away from his mouth – don’t crawl inside of it! That’s it!”

“I need to ask Bill something – could you barf him up please?”

“Another frustrated IBM PC user.”

“So how many of him do you think it would take to screw in a lightbulb?”

And to make this my enjoyment of this episode complete, I adored the final Host Segment with Crow halfway down Gypsy’s throat, and especially when she sneezed Servo out!

Summary: I quite enjoyed this episode … ;-)

Okay, finally acquired the video. Good choice of great lines, Callie.
All I can add - even after realizing the circumstances under which it was made (see my post above) - is that this is one horrendously bad movie. No-one involved seems to have the slightest knowledge of basic human behaviour.

To wit: Why is the deputy allowed - nay, ordered - to bring his wife along to an ominous-looking crash site?

What's with the school dance held at noon (and no, I don't think it's supposed to be a 'tea dance')?

So...the monster attacks two young lovers, snatches a housewife off the clothesline, chomps down on an old man and his grandson...and the brass still insists on a cover-up To the point of allowing a high school dance to go on as planned. Even for 50's movie military types, this is ridiculous.

Speaking of that crack commando unit: Love that sequence where they demonstrate their elite status by...moving a couple of skinny fallen trees out of the road. Yep, the SAS is shaking in it's boots, alright.

Next up for this, uh, elite unit: Investigate the crime scene. Specifically, enter the same small enclosed area where Sheriff Bill was horribly slaughtered just two scenes before. Amazingly, Deputy Martin, an eyewitness to the earlier murder, doesn't seem to object. (Of course, when they climb in this time, nothing happens. Apparently the monster got loose but then thoughtfully tied itself back up so that these doofuses...uh, commandos...could examine it.)

And finally...the awful monster design has been well-documented elsewhere. I will only add that, if you're gonna create a monster by draping rugs over a frame, choosing one without an elaborately Persian-rug-esque scrollwork design would probably help the illusion better.

Sigh. I've never seen Plan 9 From Outer Space, but it can't possibly be any worse than this one. All that's missing here is Tor Johnson as one of the victims.

And a couple more weird moments from a repeat viewing:

The sequence in which we follow a 'typical' young mother(-slash-zombie) through her morning. Somehow, she contrives to check on her sick baby without touching it.
I mean, I spent the whole sequence thinking, man, either this woman's ODing on Valium or she's deep into postpartum depression! Get her out of the movie and into rehab, quick!

And then there's the, uhm, cute interlude where Deputy Martin brings his single buddy home...apparently to watch Martin and his wife make out. Guess love means never having to consider your guests' feelings.
(Actually, what really makes this sequence painful is the narrator droning on awkwardly in the background about how 'time has a way of making boys grow up,' sounding for all the world like the intro to That Movie we had to watch in sixth grade.)

I loved the gag during the dance about the Baptists staying off to the side... mostly because I'm Southern Baptist myself

"Maybe making Allan Sherman an action hero wasn't such a good idea after all..." (I could not stop laughing at this)

"Opie and his therapist go fishing."

"He's a rogue narrator!" "But he gets results!"