This movie had to include one of the worst attempts at a male hero ever. I love the sheer mediocrity of this movie, which of course, makes the jokes even funnier. The villain gives an almost comic performance, too.

"Oh, wow! The future looks like the 80's!"

At the end of this episode, we learn that there is still a duplicate Crow back in 1985! This shouldn't be true though. No Crow duplicate was created. The Crow who was originally in 1985 is still the same Crow who returned to the present and then went back in time again. So how come he's still back there.

It's just a show. You should really just relax, Todd.

Food courts of the future!

Didn't that lead guy look like David Koresh? Hmm.

There are so many questions and faults with this one. It seemed like a really bad rip off of Back to the Future 2.

Mike's brother "Eddie" was kinda funny. So was seeing dopey Mike working in a cheese factory.

My fave line:

"That moss is takin' a lichen to that tree!"

Now that's how to do a pun!

Servo : 4,3, 2, 1,... er er3, 2, 1, .... 2 (CRASSSHHH!) 1.

Best line:You've got mail...pattern baldness.

This is one of my favorites. Crow going back in time to the Barnett County Dairy Cooporative was a perfect example of why this show is so unique in that it is able to blend real life and tired plot cliches in a seamless and hilarious manner.

J.K. Robertson. I just can't say enough about this guy. "Matt, it's time for you to decide whether or not your going to be one of my team players." If you could watch him say this and not be in hysterics for hours, then you probably have no pulse.

I didn't really much mind that the hero of the film was a butt-chinned weenie. What made the character so unappealing to me was his blatant disregard for other people. He steals a guy's tan Yugo, crashes it, tells the owner of the car that he actually doesn't know how to drive, and then promptly runs off! He ruins the Michael Medved clone's life by getting him fired. He couldn't care less about screwing up all of history, and to top it all off, he signs a contract with EvilCo Inc. in the first place!

I know there's really no point in nitpicking a MSTied movie, but what the hell. For the first half of the film, every body calls the evil company "GenCore", and for the second half, it's "GenCorp". Which is it?


Best riffs:

"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
"Some day, a bunch of puffy old losers with no lives will reenact this battle, men!"
"Your going into battle in that oufit?"
"Just try to go, Harry! We're not watching!"
"Michael MedDead!"
"Ohhh...that was a good chicken head...ohh."
"There's too many sevens in that date. I'm going out for a smoke."
"Ya know, I wish uncooked liver had been the star of this movie."
"I'm Batman."
"No, I'm saying MAKE ME DINNER!"
"Come to Martin's. Whaddup?"
"Okay, Chuckle Hut middle act who thought this was his big break!"
"We don't brook backsass from our phillies, Nick."
"Michael Moore in thirty years."
"Me, I just want to find a little beefaroni at the bottom of a can."
"Am I exploiting my core competencies?"
"My God, ISO 9001 certification is a liscence to kill!"
"I guess they didn't reduce the capital gains tax after all."
"We could prevent Newt Gingrich, Jim Carrey and the Smashing Pumpins!"
"We could send Bob Sagget back to meet Charlamagne!"

THE J.K ROBERTSON APPRECIATION SOCIETY PROUDLY PRESENTS........
J.K MEMORIES....

Hi, I'm Bob Evil!
Yes ma'am.
No ma'am.
Yup. Yup yup yup.
Nick! Hug me!
Whats gonna become of GenCorp?
I gotta get to that Sarset meeting!
.........todal control......
I leave for 20 minutes and EvilCo is in shambles!
Hey Nick, there were some stairs on the other side of the tree.
I got a whole building here of people ........
George Woodard as JK Robertson. JK Robertson!

Matt! Its time for you to decide if you're gonna be one of my team players or not!

We thank you.

Not to mention..

We don't brook back-sass from our fillies, Nick!
D*mn good prom, honey!
W-Wall...St...Street...
Harvey Korman!
Connect me to this!
Should have left this one alone, son.
It seems you've forgotten you're in the past, ya varmint!

I downloaded the trailer for Time Chasers (yup, I'm that sad ) and there seemed to be some cuts in the MST3K version, including Michael Moore chatting about the use of the TT, and the bike chase, ending up with two GenCorp workers with very bad headaches and a very soggy Nick Miller.
Unless that was just cut out in the UK?

Yeah, I just saw it myself (yes, now TWO people have seen the trailer). Not only were the bike scene and the Michael Moore dialogue cut but it looks like the shootout was a little longer too (the Anthony Michael Hall guy is holding an AK-47). I have to admit the music in the trailer isn't too bad, certainly better than the Casio Keyboard demo button stuff from the film.

Some riffs close to my heart:
"Vermont...city on the go!"
"Demo button on little keyboard hit by:"
"Say you like Northwest, go 'head!"
"I'm a team player."
"So, 50 years from now it'll be 3 years from now."
"Oh great, now the garbage truck is backing up!"
"Bet you didn't count on the assistant janitor!"
"He's enjoying the new active lifestyle with his new hair!"
"And it's all over, good."

I have a severe injury to my sleeve.

Another J.K. Robertson quote:
"I'm gonna squint the hell out of you"

I've now seen the unMsted version, thought someone might be interested in the highlights of what was cut. If not, then too bad.


At the food court (of The Future!) Nick explains the concept of time, using a spoon (to represent him and Lisa) and a cup of coffee (to represent the Universe). Its hilarious, and really should have been left in.

"The guy who works in your dads printing firm" takes Nick and Lisa to see a hairy guy - the same one Crow was upset to see die.

Nick is nearly stabbed by the Pirate - Lisa helpfully rams his head in a door.

Michael Moore explains the wars that destroyed everything, and gets the chance to show off his weird boggly-eyed expressions.

The "New York, New York" taxi driver has another episode, this time about streets. Then Lisa explains the TT to him, and he goes off on another rant. He drives them back to the airport and does some comedy ninja moves on the security guards so that Nick and Lisa can get to the plane.

JK shows up to supervise the start of the cross-country bike chase, which ends with the two GenCorp thugs crashing and Nick getting all soggy yet again.

Pink Boy asks Nick why he won't be a team player.

We see Nick get shot and we see the plane wreck hit JK. Poor JK.

There are one or two more little bits that aren't worth mentioning. Like any of this was worth mentioning.

Thanks for the extra info, K, pretty interesting!

The film at the beginning at least plays somewhat fair--the characters' behavior makes sense, and we can forgive what's happening out of cheapness and poor performances. Around the halfway mark (around the time Lisa dies), things get bad. The whole concept of two people in the same time thing, which is interesting, is blown to shreds with the silly Revolutionary War thing (designed to give some reenactors some work, I guess). And the film's deux ex machina ending is bad, bad, bad.

The character of Nick is badly written and the actor cannot fight realistically (well, nobody can, I guess, in the film), but despite Crow's protesting, I thought it was okay that the lead character was just a geeky programmer. If this were a big-budget movie, we'd have to see Ben Affleck as Nick.

Now the characters of J.K. Robertson and Michael Medved/Pink Boy were comedy gold. Robertson is in a class along with Commander Kalgon and the Fat Man in terms of inept villains (ironically enough, those episodes come right in a row, and are somewhat similar thematically). Who knows? Maybe Christopher Walken would play the role in a big budget film.

Thanks for the insights on the cut scenes. I knew that New Yawk taxi driver had to have a bigger role.

Lot of great lines, but the best:

"Ah, so it's bicycles, eh? I accept your challenge! En garde!"--when the guards get out of their car to pursue Nick on bicycles.

And the sketches were cool too--Patrick Branstseg is great as "Patrick," and it was neat seeing Eddie in the alternate future.

Now, to nitpick here, would the future of Eddie really be that similar to the future of Mike, 'cuz I don't see Eddie doing a lot of the same things Mike would?

Re Eddie's future: I don't quite think so. We know Eddie would've languished gladly in temp-work hell forever, so it's at least possible he would've been hired by the Mads in Mike's place. I guess that still doesn't explain how Eddie would've survived when the Mads' funding was cut and they broke the Umbilicus.

Wait..."It's just a show. We should really just relax." :-D

The Ultimate Anti-Nit (tm)

BTW, is there any truth to Mike's story on the DVD that the producers of the film requested that MST3K do the episode, but were angry at the vicious savaging?

I do remember reading that the brains had at least talked to Pink Boy over the phone, and that David Giancola, the director, was excited that with Scifi buying the rights to his film, he finally broke even with it. So apparently at some point the creators of the film may have been somewhat enthusiastic about the savaging. I always figure that the filmmakers should be happy about getting the treatment, which invariably turns their work into cult classics. Though maybe somebody thought "I hope they end up together. At the bottom of a well, torn apart by animals." or "I wish cooked liver had been the star of this movie." were a bit harsh?

Ok, since you've seen the uncut film, is there ANY explaination whatsoever about how Nick#2 and Lisa#2 know that Robertson#2 and PinkBoy#2 have taken Nick#1 and ComicalAirplaneMechanic back to 1777? As is... they just sorta... guess.

Don't you mean Robertson #1 and PinkBoy #1?

And ComicalAirplaneMechanic / Morty / ChuckleHutMiddleAct #1

D'oh...#2, that is.

Hrm, they are #1s, your right. Movie confused me a bit, lol.

Oh, favorite line of the movie.

After two of the main characters get killed.

"Oh! Thank you movie!"
"Yeah!"

I always liked Crow's childlike whine-crying as Nick #1 shambles down the road in timeline #2.