The description I've heard for this film is Pod People crossed with Boggy Creek 2, with a hint of The Final Sacrifice. That's a fairly accurate summary.
Okay, it looks like I am going to have to overload on these episodes. If I can watch and comment on all of them by the end of the first week of May I can cancel my free month of Netflix and not have to pay a subscription!
The opening sequence in this and future episodes doesn’t make sense. Why is Jonah vacuumed out of the Satellite of Love just before being put back in for the next movie? The excuse he makes about having to act out the opening sequence at the start of each episode seems really weak. Why not just make the first host sequence after the opening credits longer?
How much of the Kickstarters’ money went on Har Mar Superstar’s salary; or is he a superfan who did it for expenses?
The Carvel ice cream clock sequence went on for far too long IMO. And maybe it’s because I’m a Brit, but I didn’t understand any of it anyway.
Ah, yes, Ardy (played by Joel Hodgson) clearly is the guy who sends the movie. I listened more closely this time and Joel’s voice is recognisable.
(As the Cry Wilderness title comes up)
Crow: “Well, if you insist.”
All: “Wilderness!!”
Mr Douglas: “Paul!”
(as Mr Douglas): “I loved your letter to the Corinthians.”
(In the hugely ornate boys’ dorm)
Jonah: “Sorry, boys, you’re not getting headboards. We spent all your money on tapestries.”
Tom: “This Palace of Versailles sleepover is awesome!”
Blond boy (to Paul): “Now you did it, dummy.”
(as Paul): “Go back to bed, Draco.”
(During the stock footage of animals in the forest)
“At some point you might have to resort to YouTube to finish your film.”
“This is like Ice Road Truckers, only less staged.”
(Will tells Paul about the raccoon cubs in the cabin)
Paul: “I love you, Dad.”
(as Paul): “And I love rabies!”
“You can’t spell Dad without A.D.D!”
“Step aside, Paul. Let the poorly-dubbed adults handle this.”
“Product placement! Heinz paid for them to use Hunt’s Ketchup in this scene.”
Morgan: “Name is Morgan Hicks. Occupation: big game hunter. I’ve tracked and killed all over the world.”
(as Morgan): “And I have a dental practice in Minnesota too.”
“Oh, the interocitor is calling!”
Morgan: “Tell me more, kid.”
Tom: “Like, does he have a car?”
(as Will): “I was just dreaming my son wasn’t creepy!”
(Looking at a small waterfall)
“Beautiful Niagara Fall.”
(Paul kicks off and is dragged away by his father. Morgan looks at Jim)
(as Morgan): “Still think we should adopt?”
(Will and Jim leave Paul on his own)
(as Will): “Just give us a yell if you get attacked by one of the many dangerous animals we’ve established are in this forest.”
“Jeez, do these guys do the laugh track for Three And A Half Men?”
“Into the brightly lit clearing where we have no cover!”
(Paul runs across the meadow; Jonah and the Bots sing the theme tune to Little House on the Prairie)
“Think this is another dead-end distraction from the lack of a cohesive plot?”
“They shouldn’t put tags on mesh shirts. Also, they shouldn’t make mesh shirts.”
(as Paul): “Dad, aren’t you proud of me? I followed instructions for fifteen seconds!”
(as the tiger, coming out of the tunnel): “I’m as surprised I’m in this movie as you are, folks.”
(as Paul): “Why do people keep leaving me alone? They know I’m incapable of following instructions!”
Crow: “Jim should just roll up a newspaper and whack Paul on the nose with it.”
[God, that brat! I wanted to shoot him well before the end!!]
Jim (to Red Hawk): “You died thirteen years ago. I saw you sealed up in a cave.”
(as Red Hawk): “Well, happy Easter.”
(Paul gets swept up in a net trap)
Tom: “This might work out. Paul gets eaten by Ewoks and the movie ends.”
“Tiger, woods. There, I said it.”
(The truck breaks down)
Paul: “What happened?”
Crow: “Deus Ex Lack of Machina.”
Heather: “We’ve run out of gas.”
(as the tiger): “Why don’t you put a tiger in your tank? Ha ha! I’ve been waiting all day to say that!”
“It’s the Forest Ranger action set! Paul figure may get lost immediately.”
“I never should have left Pawnee Parks and Recs.”
(The footage goes fuzzy)
“Focus! The projector; the camera; the flashlight; the plot.”
“[The tiger’s] not tranquillised. This movie has just put him to sleep.”
(Close-up of part of the tranquillised tiger)
“Nice puppet work on that throw pillow, Ryan.”
(Will gets buried under a rock fall)
(as Paul): “Oh no! Dad’s allergic to Styrofoam! I’ve gotta save him!”
Crow: “Remember, Paul, pretend to not be able to lift Styrofoam with your knees, not your back.”
(as Bigfoot): “Y’all Yeti for this?”
(Paul hugs Will after Bigfoot has removed the rocks)
(as Will): “Yeah, pile on, kid. What’s a few more broken ribs?”
“I was beginning to worry. It’s been, like, three minutes since Paul ran off.”
(as Paul): “Wait, why am I running? No-one told me to stay anywhere.”
“I’ll give them this: they’ve found some truly breathtaking vistas, and made them incredibly boring.”
(Paul cuddles the raccoon cub)
(as Paul): “Does anyone else have a weird rash?”
Mr Douglas: “Your father wrote me a long letter. He explained everything that happened.”
Crow: “Great. Can somebody please explain it to me?”
Mr Douglas: “Personally [fairy tales] have always fascinated me. Pinocchio’s my favourite.”
(as Mr Douglas): “That’s why my acting is so wooden.”
Paul: “You’re a grown-up. Grown-ups can’t see [Bigfoot].”
Jonah: “Except for all those that do. It’s sort of a sliding scale, I guess.”
The Carvel Ice Cream Clock is based on the fact that their Santa Claus ice cream cakes use the exact same mold as the Fudgie the Whale cakes, just placed sideways. Each clock position is suppose to represent a different item shape which is the same mold at the indicated angle.
“And I have a dental practice in Minnesota too.”
My girlfriend and I laughed at that one... She's an orthodontist, and is originally from Minnesota.