“And the crowd goes mild.”

“Poor guy’s got male-pattern sadness.”

“Ooh, I do hope we get to see him go all the way into the tent ... Ah ... Oh, yeah!”

Stoney: “Markov.”
Jonah and the Bots: “Polov!”

Bud (watching Alex the chimp hold up a tightly-rolled magazine): “What’s he doing?”
Crow: “Learning ‘Thirty Ways To Please His Man,’ apparently.”
[I suspect they may not have meant that the way I took it but I have a filthy mind and almost spat out a mouthful of water laughing!]

“Is this scene supposed to feel like a hopeful autopsy?”

Markov (to Alex): “When Sarah died, teaching you was all I had; it got me through.”
Jonah: “What stage of grief is chimp-play?”

(The background piano music gets louder for no apparent reason. Alex looks upwards and taps on a tent pole)
(as Alex): “Hey, Ben Folds! Keep it down up there!”

Stoney: “People losing money; people making money – it’s all the same.”
Jonah: “No it’s not.”
Stoney: “Everyone’s having fun.”
Jonah: “No they’re not.”

“Really fun seeing you meander all through the carnival, very neighbourly.” (Yelling tetchily) “What does this have to do with anything?!”

“This movie has more exposition than The Phantom Menace.”

“Paramount Pictures presents Every Which Way But Why.”

“Mad Max: Furry Road.”

Markov (thoughtfully): “Now, that’s interesting.”
Bud: “What?”
(as Markov): “The only food that doesn’t rot is honey.”

Markov: “You can’t continue to live Stoney’s life for him.”
(as Markov): “You’ll never maintain that much fat.”

(Alex plays with Kate’s bra)
“Truly Andy Serkis’ best work.”

Markov: “It takes time for a girl to become a young lady.”
Crow: “I’m not ready to hear this.”
Tom: “I am!”
David: “What can I do about it, though?”
(as Markov): “I’m sure the school nurse has a video you can watch.”

“I’ve seen mannequins have livelier conversations than this!”

[I was really startled to see that Mark Hamill played the circus master in the Host Segment! I didn’t have a clue who he was until I saw the end credits; and even on second viewing I could only occasionally recognise him, mainly from the eyes.]

Stoney: “I’ve been givin’ a lot of thought to what you both said ...”
(as Stoney): “... about Bruno and Borat both bein’ the same guy as Ali G.”

David: “We’re engaged.”
Stoney: “Engaged?!”
(as Stoney): “How long was I asleep?!”

“He’s like MacGyver, if MacGyver just had to pick up some keys.”

(as Alex): “Get your hands off me, you d*mn dirty humans!”

(A police car arrives at the fairground)
Tom: “Law & Order: Carnival Crimes Unit.”
Crow (singing): “Dun-dun!”

Person of short stature: “Hey, Sheriff.”
Sheriff: “Hi, Shorty.”
Crow: “Hate crime!”

Livingston: “It’s as if he’s willing himself to die.”
Jonah and the Bots: “We’ll have what he’s having!”

[Who was the red jumpsuited man who briefly replaced Jonah in the final Host Segment?]