Not sure if the riffing was weaker or the badness of the movie was bleeding through, but this wasn't as funny as earlier eps.

I didn't think the continued riffing about being the baby was as funny as the writers thought it was.

I agree, Keith – the baby thing went on too long, didn’t seem appropriate anyway when Sam never behaved in a babyish way, and was even more annoying second time around.

Despite that, this was my favourite episode of the new season.


(During the opening cartoon sequence)
“It’s Hark! A Vagrant.”

“Either the title card is in Italian or we’re getting nachos.”

Sam: “Would you mind handing me that ball?”
(as Sam): “And could you possibly synch up my dialogue with my lips, please?”

(Santa shows Sam his rent bill)
(as Sam): “You’re gonna need one hell of a GoFundMe page.”

(as Mrs Claus): “It keeps snowing packing peanuts, and I hear they’re carcinogenic.”

(The elves sit at their workbenches looking unhappy)
“What are they waiting for?”
“For someone to invent computer animation so they can go home.”
Mrs Claus (in relation to the missing rent money): “Don’t you worry your little heads. Santa’s gone to see a friend about that.”
Jonah: “Whitey Bulger?”

Prune: “Greetings.”
Tom: “Yes, there are many. Would you like to choose one?”

Prune: “I’ve been running away from children all my life.”
(as Prune): “... as required by the court order.”

(After Sam has repeatedly suggested that the ‘T’ in Phineas T Prune stands for ‘Tightwad’)
(as Prune): “So if I prove my middle name isn’t ‘Tightwad,’ Santa will pay his rent? I’m starting to understand this whole broke-lawyer thing.”

Prune (starting to leave): “I think I’ve wasted enough valuable time.”
(as Prune): “Pawn Stars is on.”

“What did they cut out of this movie if this is what they kept?”

(Santa and Sam play with the toys; in the middle of them all, a toy baby and animal crawl towards each other)
Jonah: “Oh, look, they’ve created their own Thunderdome.”
Crow: “Jonah, can’t we get beyond Thunderdome?”

“The editor must have been so tempted to speed this [scene] up. I know I am.”

(Suzy’s mother shows her various toys while chatting with Sam. Each time, Suzy shakes her head.)
(as Suzy): “No, that’s not a rifle. ... No, that’s not a rifle either.”

Prune (calling for his butler): “Blossom! Blossom!”
Tom: “Not the kind of name that gets more menacing the louder you say it.”

“This music cue is called ‘Somebody Watching Somebody Else Read’.”

(Prune tears pages out of his book)
“Oh good, he’s editing the script of the movie.”

Blossom: “Here, sir. A sip of this will soothe your nerves.”
(as Blossom): “We’re having Nyquil-adas, sir.”
(Blossom feeds Prune a spoonful of the liquid)
(as Blossom): “Nobody likes Red Bull, sir. Just drink it.”

“Gary Oldman is Johnny Depp as Slash in Tim Burton’s Bram Stoker’s The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t.”

[I loved the bit when Tom flew to the top of the screen to get rid of the smudge!]

(The children run into the snowy streets in their nightwear to answer Charlie’s summons)
Tom: “Maybe Charlie should have told them to wear coats and shoes?”
Crow: “Yeah, everybody knows the streets of Prague are covered in rusty nails and rebar.”

(During the scene when kids hand over various shaped/sized moneyboxes)
(as kid): “Here’s my grandma’s ashes.”
(as Santa): “Okay, TV remote. That’s weird.”
(as another kid): “Here’s some Bitcoin.”
(as Santa): “Oh, you took all of Mommy’s stash, didn’t you?”
(as Santa, to Sam): “Hey, Whipple, you watchin’ this, dumbass? This is how you collect on a bill!”

[Aww, Joel as Santa! That was really lovely!]

(The elves are lined up one behind the other, watching Prune)
(as elves): “Uh, Prune, would you mind putting our conga record back on, please?”

(Prune moves the minute hand of the clock forward)
Jonah: “Oh, thank you. You read my mind, movie.”
(Mrs Claus moves the minute hand back again)
Crow: “Guys and ladies just can’t agree on the thermostat, am I right?!”

Prune: “The clock is striking twelve!”
(as Prune): “I love to count!”
Prune: “Three.”
(as Prune): “Ha ha ha!”
Prune: “Four.”
(as Prune): “Ha ha ha!”
Prune: “Five.”
(as Prune): “Ha ha ha!”
Prune: “Six.”
(as Prune): “You get the idea.”

(as Mrs Claus, putting on a white fur coat): “Like my jacket? It’s Tauntaun by Marc Jacobs.”

(Santa gets the sleigh moving)
(as Santa): “I can’t come back! I don’t know how it works! Goodbye, folks!”
[I know it’s a ‘Wizard of Oz’ quote but I’m sure that whoever voiced that line was doing their best to sound like Joel saying the same words in his final episode in Season 5.]

(The reindeer head downwards)
“We’re the Donner party!”

(During the freeze-frame shots of Santa, Mrs Claus and Sam on various rooftops)
(as Santa): “Newbie mistake. I’ll get the plunger.”
(as Mrs Claus): “Now I know why I never make this trip. I’ve already lost two toes to frostbite.”

Sam (to Prune): “You mean you asked for a sailboat [when you were a child]?”
Prune: “I don’t know.”
Jonah: “He didn’t. They incepted this idea into him last night.”

(Prune picks up the letter from the package)
(as Prune): “Hang on, let me check my sides.”

Prune (reading Jonathan’s letter aloud): “‘I found this postcard with your name and address’.”
(as Prune): “... ‘and MySpace page’? Man, this is old!”

(as Prune, hugging his sailboat): “At least I have you, Boaty McBoatface.”

[Am I the only one who always feels a little startled when the crew makes a really modern reference like the one above? I’m so used to the references being quite old, even if they were current at the time of recording; and hearing a mention of Boaty McBoatface – which only became a news item in April last year – was fabulous but almost made me feel strange!]

Prune (singing): “Why can’t every day be Christmas? Why can’t every day be gay?”
Crow: “Oh, that’s a loaded question.”

(Prune chases a little boy round the square)
Crow: “I think we may just have to accept this as a societal anachronism that doesn’t fit into today’s social mores.”
Tom: “True dat, but I’m still hoping the kid hits Prune with a pipe or, at the very least, a sack filled with manure.”

[I got quite dewy-eyed at the freeze-frame shots of Jonah and the Bots celebrating Christmas, and also at the sight of the penultimate tube being put in place in the Mads’ lab. Having had to rush through the series to avoid paying Netflix a subscription means it’s all gone too fast.]