It's hard to believe that Hamlet would be a MSTed movie, but here it is. And Boy is it bad.

If you saw Final Justice (episode previous to this one) you'll notice Mike uses Joe Don Baker's "Catch Phrase", when tempting Pearl with three card monte.

"You think you can take me? Go ahead on. It's your move"

I love this episode! It's fun to watch my favorite play getting riffed. :-)

"Cut his throat in a church...I oughtta smack him..."
"The literary equivalent of 'Da da da DAAAAA!'"
"Now the King drinks to Hamlet." "Hell, the King drinks to ANYTHING."
"Hamlet, here's to thy health." "...coming to a sudden end."

Bearing in mind I'm Canadian and can't catch the reruns, which version of 'Hamlet' is this? The one with Mel Gibson?
Anyway, I think the idea of riffing on Shakespeare is a real hoot. If there ever was a pretentious cultural icon that needed deflating...

Hey, no badmouthing Shakespeare on my watch! :-p

Actually, it's a dubbed German version of Hamlet starring Maximillian Schell. Claudius' lines were apparently dubbed by Ricardo Montalban...

Sorry, sorry. I've really got nothing against the plays themselves (especially the comedies); it's just the pretentious cultural etc. baggage that sometimes surrounds them.
Meanwhile...Ricardo Montalban? Where in the world did that concept come from?

Well, I can agree with that. The worst thing you can do with Shakespeare is to be too reverent (for want of a better word) -- it sucks the life right out of the plays, both on stage and in the classroom.

(Incidentally, I'm starting work on a thesis on Shakespeare's histories. I promise not to be too pretentious... :-) )

“Moe, Larry and Horatio.”

“Gertrude’s hair by Bozo.”

“This place could use a shroud or, hell, even a stick would cheer it up.”

Hamlet: “What hour now?”
Tom: “Time for you to buy a watch.”
Horatio: “I think it lacks of twelve.”
Marcellus: “No, it is struck.”
Horatio: “It did?”
Crow: “The great ‘what time is it?’ argument from ‘Hamlet’.”

The ghost: “Murder most foul.”
Crow: “He murdered a chicken?”

Crow: “Get thee to a bakery ... no, wait ...”

Ophelia: “My prince ...”
Tom: “... are back from Fotomat.”

Hamlet: “To be, or not to be ...”
Mike: “The verbal equivalent of (the first four notes of Beethoven’s Fifth).”
Hamlet: “... that is the question.”
Crow: “I’ll take ‘to be’ for fifty, Alex.”
Hamlet: “... to sleep ...”
Crow: “Yeah, that’s what we’re doin’ right now, bub.”
Hamlet: “Aye, there’s the rub.”
Mike: “I knew I had some rub left.”
Hamlet: “... and lose the name of action.”
Mike: “So ‘I’m a chicken for not stabbing myself,’ that’s all you needed to say!

“Hey! Your occasional chair just found an occasion!”

“Hail, Queen Dilbert’s boss.”

“Hamlet faxed me a soliloquy!”

Hamlet: “Give us the foils.”
Tom: “We shall some potatoes bake.”

Claudius: “If Hamlet hits ...”
Tom: “... we’ll do a sequel.”

“They’re femmecing!”

“Perhaps my impending baldness can help.”

Mike (as Claudius): “OK, better make out a will: I, Claudius ... heh heh, I always tell that joke when I’m dying.”

“Hold me, elongated Phil Collins.”

Hamlet: Stay, I'll go no farther.
Crow: That's not what I heard, sunshine.

So was that really Ricardo Montalban dubbing the voice of Claudius? I was going to joke that that was who it sounded like, but a couple of the posts above seem to indicate that it really was. Anyone know?

Was it me, or did the MSTing of the film seem a litle half-hearted here? It seemed like they were silent for long stretches, although Shakespearean soliliquys don't provide much opportunity for interruption.

If my experience is any indication, they were probobly just put to sleep.

By the way, I thought he sounded like Montalban too.

Ricardo Montalban's credits include:

Hamlet (1960) (TV) (voice: English version) .... Claudius
... aka Hamlet (1960) (TV) (USA)


Hamlet was renamed Hamlet when shown in the U.S.?

Well, they added the (USA) to it, right?

Not the best film. It is a really bad version of Hamlet, but it is still Shakespeare and not really goofy enough. The film also stingily refuses to provide material.

STILL, there are some awesome jokes (for some reason, I adore "The Tragedy of King Vitamin!"), and the skits are quite good. I like "Alas, Poor Who?" a lot.

The riffing moves along alright until Hamlet breaks out a soliloquy. Mike and the bots just seem to give up around the half way point for most of them.

Oh, speaking of "Alas, Poor Who?": what the heck was that third bone?

I checked the DVD. The chapter with Alas Poor Who? is called Boning for Dollars, which I guess was their original name for it. The bones were:

First bone - Femur (thigh) of Biz Markie.
Second bone - Clavicle (collarbone) of Nancy Allen.
Third bone - Ileum (hip socket) of Alaska Senator Ted Stevens. Tom guessed Roland Gift.
Fourth bone - Metatarsals (toes) of Ralph Waite. Crow didn't phrase the answer correctly.

Here's another favorite line.
"What's worse than clowns? Danish clowns."
"Danish clowns, the dank, smelly, silverfish-infested basement of the clown world."

Here are some more funny lines from Hamlet.

His Royal Majesty, Rip Taylor.
When Danish flirting falls flat.
Your breath smells like Havarti.
I thought frailty’s name was Carl.
Let there be Sunny D for everyone!
I’m going to a costume party as Rosalind Russell.
How about some spiral-cut Hamlet?
They’re doing a Danish mind-meld.
Me and Horatio got blasted on Aquavit, wound up on the express train to Copenhagen.
What the Shroud of Turin sees.
Thank you for cooperating with the Copenhagen police. You can take off the wire now.
Rap artist, Notorious K.I.N.G.
Run DM-C. Everett Koop.
I’ll come back later, see if he’s drinking and whoring, then I’ll kill him.
Yeah. Go a lot to England, OK?
Even in death, he just goes in her room.
Thank you, Corpsio.
Man, I’m Simon LeBon.
I don’t trust a sporting event done in tights and poofy shirts.
Is there a word in the English language he hasn’t said?
Hamlet will be back in Thunderball.

I also really enjoyed the sketch where Tom and Crow perform an all-percussion version of Hamlet, and when Fortinbras showed up at Pearl's castle.

Alas poor Alaska Senator Ted Stevens!

On the subject of riffing Shakespeare, anyone else think that the 1936 George Cukor adaptation of Romeo and Juliet would be perfect subject matter. The geriatric riffs practically write themselves.

"With love's light wings did I o'er-perch these walls."
I didn't want to stress my trick knee.

"Parting is such sweet sorrow."
Guess I should take more Metamucil.

I would also like to add that Hamlet is a fairly typical MST3K movie protagonist, in that he's an ineffectual chump who blunders through the narrative and leaves a big mess at the end. In this respect, he's no different from Rod Tillman or Jimmy Wilson or Marvin Grant or Jodie Thompson.

Even the works of Shakespeare aren't safe

To riff or not to riff, that is the question.

;-)

There has to be, or not to be...