Sorry about the mix up. It does this sometimes. I don't know why it does it. Anyway, have fun!

Did anyone else experience that odd sensation?
It seemed like the flow of time had stopped for a while and suddenly started again?

Muhahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

Alright, I'm still here, on Renal Refusal's moon base, waiting for Renal herself.
And yes Darth, I felt it also.

Oh, Saddam, here I am.
(Renal appears wearing the bell covered lingerie, she flashes him a grin of unbrushed and rotting teeth, and she sprays herself with toilet water, from a real toilet.
She throws herself in Saddam's arms and begins covering him with kisses.)
Oh, Saddam, have you come to make me a real woman?

Well, Pattie, that show seemed to go on forever. Any ideas on what to do now? How do you feel about karaoke? :-)

a thunderous burst of energy and a strange amalgamation of man, Furby and burrito appear on stage
HAHAHAHAHA!
The disruption of the time stream was enough to free me from my temporal prison! And I Furbito Man am now free to exact vengence on the evil woman who did this to me!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Uhhhhh,... yeah. Karaoke sound great. Let's go, right now!
(Pattie drags Megan to the exit)

Um.. yes Renal. I have come to do just that. But first, how about a tour of this wonderful moon base of yours? And then maybe we could have drinks..

Of course, darling.
(Renal gooses the disguised Tacoman and begins showing him around.
When he shows much interest in the command center, she tells him...)
This is the nerve center of my base, although since Darth turned traitor I've changed the codes so they only respond to me, so no one else can activate them.
(Tacoman hides his disappointment. Renal continues showing him around until they come to a green door.)
And this is the 'heart' of my base, my bedroom...
(she pushes open the door to reveal a chamber of horrors, with various torture devices, posters of Saddam Hussein on the wall, and in the center a heart shaped bed, truely heart shaped, with four chambers and veins and arteries.)
Why don't we have that drink now, lover boy? Your favorite drink is in the fridge next to the cold duck.
(Tacoman opens the fridge and sees the wine, next to the frozen body of Donald Duck)

Hmm.. nice bed..
why the duck in the fridge?
pulling out the wine and couple of glasses
Well.. While Renal is in her bathroom "freshening up", I pour wine in both glasses, activate the sleeping pill antidote in my mouth, and put the sleeping pills in the drinks just before Renal enters the room
Cheers, darling!
to self from what I understand, she will sleep until either I administer the antidote, or a large distraction occurs..

Hmmm. that is strange, I to did experience an odd feeling almost like missing time.

Well, if Tacoman can't get control of Renal's controls I hope he is able to find out the exact location of the self-destruct switch before he drugs her.

Hmmmm. should anything go wrong with this mission I might have to call in The Exceptional Mystery Brigade, my crack team of specialists to provide backup, hopfully we won't need them and tacoman will finally defeat Renal refusel making Port Mike safe once more for Democrasy. waitaminite why is my personal hotline flashing? it hasn't done that in years I better see whats up. {to be continued.]

Whoa, Pattie! What's the rush? I mean, I like karaoke as much as the next dag (sorry, I know any Americans on this board won't know the meaning of this word. It's an affectionate insult to someone who, or something that, is not quite cool, but not in a bad way - rather, in a cute, endearing way. Um, Austin Powers might be called a dag), but you're just about pulling my arm out of its socket! What's the deal? You're acting like you've got some dark secret that just popped out of your past.

Hey.. look what I found on Renal's personal bookshelf.. a book of slang.. I'll just look up the word dag.. and..
ah.. an eccentric or noteworthy person; a character. first found in print in the year 1875..
Now to get down to business..
using my belt pack to read Renal's mind
alright, I now know what her codes are, where the self destruct is, and what her ultimate plans for the real Saddam is..
wandering out of her bedroom, eventually reaching enviromental controls
now I will put the sleeping gas I brought into the atmosphere of the base, causing everyone to sleep.. I also have a can of the antidote inserted and ready to release when I'm ready..
now that I've done that..
wandering into the control room, using Renal's stolen codes to gain access to the computer
Hmm.. Hmm.. HMMM... interesting...
Tacoman to Inspector Mystery, I'm downloading stuff from Renal's computer down to the computer at Taco Headquarters. Don't worry, what is being sent is virus free..
Computer: download complete.
now, I insert a small virus of my own..
wandering back to Renal's bedroom, search Renal, find her key
now, where is that self destruct.. hmm.. behind the Iron maden.. no.. it IS the iron maden..
i{inserting key}
Alright.. setting self destruct for a 5 minute countdown..
giving sleeping pill antidote to Renal, while remotely releasing the sleeping gas antidote
changing my look to that of Darth Gates, figuring that they can blaim him, then rushing out of the bedroom really fast
By Renal!
outright running to the cave system while a horde of flying monkeys follow me
Whew.. 30 second left to go, and I'm at the caves..
entering caves, somehow blocking the entrance
hm.. When the base goes bye-bye, the local cave system will destruct with it..
Explosion behind me as moon base explodes, cave-ins all other the place
Let's see.. left, right, right, up, down..
enter.. and I'm back at Taco Headquarters, mission accomplished!

(glancing around nervously)
What do you mean? Don't I always act like this?
Well, okay, not a dark secret, but someone I'd rather not run into again.
But hey, the street is no place to discuss my secret origin. Let's get out of here.
(a dramatic flash of light and Megan & Pattie disappear from the street)

Ah welcome back old friend, I take it your mission was a complete success? I have some interesting newsto tell youwhile you were gone {and this happened off panel} I got a call from my old alma mater, The detective Academy saying that an ancient parchment known as The jeffros Manuscript has been stolen from the library and they want me to investigate. I will probably be gone for a few days.

I know all about Hamburger Pattie's secret origin. I would tell it right now, but I have to blackmail her first.

Muhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahh!

Hmm.. sounds interesting Inspector. call me if you need any help.. If you can't call, there's a distress beacon on your communicator which you could activate..
Oh.. and before you leave, I suggest you look for the manuscript on the taco computer. who knows.. it may tell you something..
Pattie's secret origin.. something I might like to hear..

Computer, give me every thing you have on the Jeffros Manuscript: {computer} the jeffros manuscipt currantly on display at the detective academy, its akin to both the Xena scrolls and the Iliad tells of an epic battle between good and evil supposedly written during the 15th century, has been many places thru its history legend has it it was rescued from Rome while it burned, Legend also says that it contains a secret puzzle that whomever so deciphers it has the power to conquer the world. {as I.m} Great Scott, Tacoman, you better have everyone on standby I may need them. Wish me luck.

Warning, thats 15thcentury Bc

Good luck, my friend. Arn't you glad I had you look it up?
Hmm.. being a history and mythology fan, I might like to take a look at that thing..
I'll put the team on alert.
Tacoman to Tacoteam, Inspector Mystery is going on a mission to find a strange and mysterious document. He has requested that all of you be put on alert and standby in case he needs help.
Everyone back at taco heaquarters so that I may brief you on this document in case the good Inspector needs help. Tacoman out.

When are we going back to the ship, Pattie? I hate to sound like a fruitcake, but I'm missing Darth. By the way, are you going to tell me what that was all about back there?

Well, do you want to go back to the ship or hear my secret origin?

The short version is he wants revenge on me.

The long version... is longer.

Well, how about we go to the karaoke bar, belt out a few tunes, then have a beer and you can tell me all about it. Afterwards, you can zip us back to the ship and I'll take my chances on whether Darth remembers me.

*singing* tainted love....whoooohoaaooo...tainted love...

Ooops, well, Tacoman wants us back at the ship.
Sorry everyone, but Ms. Megan has to go now, but you can buy her tapes and CD's in the lobby.
(a flash of light and they disappear from the stage, then reappear to take an extra bow)

Megan! You're back!
(Gives her a big kiss)

Tacoman! You're alive and in one piece.
(about to hug him, then stops)
Uh, maybe you'd better shower first.

(aside)
Apparently Refusal referred to garbage refuse and not turning someone down. Whooo.

sniffing self whew.. your're right Pattie.
entering the shower, singing, and getting clean
Oh Pattie, care to join me?

Why? Are you coming apart?

Yes Pattie, a very old joke, but still somewhat good.
Anyway.. emerging from the shower room in uniform, looking much cleaner
Well.. that feels much better.
Alright.. who's here and who's not? When everybody gets here, we go to the meeting room. I think Inspector Mystery has left, but I'll brief you all on his new mission.

I must find the Jeffros Manuscript. Private Hertz, we shall begin looking as soon as the next comercial break. Also, we should bring the anti-taco weapons.

Hmmm... The Jeffros Manuscript has so distracted me that I forgot my manical laugh.

Hmmmmn - weird things are a happenin' here.
I'm confused.
Someone want to update me?

PLEASE???

Pattie, I was just getting into it...you should hear my rendition of 'Babooshka'. On second thoughts, maybe it's a good thing we left on a good note - sorry for the terrible pun :-)

Darth! (returns kiss). Are all of the bad guys dead yet?

rachdvl's computer virus is gone and Renal Refusal's moonbase is destroyed along with the cave system under Port Mike and probably Renal herself. Ccabe's Evil Twin still survives as does ScottN, although MPatterson seems to have disappeared, probably at the hands of Microsoft. Oh, and we have Saddam Hussein prisoner in the brig.

rachgd is recovering from her ordeal, although she seems to have trouble remembering parts of it.*

[*Author's Note: Try reading the previous posts rachgd. ;-)]

Last we heard James had lost a lot of money in Las Vegas.

What is Babooshka?

Ms Rachel. Is me, Can not keep up withe craziness,I have missed you, wish u were in Disneyland withe me, I thought of you all week Goddess, I will miss your religious posts, made much more sence than any "testament" Oh , James has Returned, saved Rachel, and taken her off To a happy ending, not to be shared with the public, just believe OK?
Big Smooches Rachgd, Soapy James

Ah yes.. our "guest," Mr. Hussein..
Luckily Darth, the cave system here is still in working order, so we will be able to take Hussein back home..
I mean, I don't want an international problem on our hands..
Alright, I believe it is about time I explain Inspector Mystery's mission, just in case he needs help.

Darth: "Babooshka" (or, possibly, "Babushka", Megie!) is a song by Kate Bush, Megan's rendition of which is truly..er..stunning. <g>

And, hey, I did read the previous posts! And still I was confused! What does that tell you? (Rhetorical question!) Lucky the little smiley was there, KAM - er, I mean Darth - or there'd be trouble! ;-)
Gotta say, actually, that your recap didn't help me much, either!

JAMES!!! Disneyland!!! You didn't mention that before, why?
I've always wanted to go on that teacup ride!

Living happily ever after? Sounds like a good thing, doesn't it? Yet, strangely, I cannot picture rachgd eternally tied to a now penniless gambler. I'm afraid you will have to recoup your Las Vegas losses before there'll be any happy-ever-after-ing!
<g, d&r>

So, I'm recovering from the whole trapped-in-a-cave syndrome, right?
Good, then. As long as I know.

It's 'Babooshka' for the song, even if the Russian dolls go under a different spelling. I'm not sure I like your tone, missy!

Well, what is there to do around this place now? Is that simulation room still around?

Um.. yeah.. there's a larger one at the base here.. just through that door..
odd beeping sound occurs
Hmm.. the interdimentional phone is ringing..
hello.. Tacoman from another dimention you say.. yes.. yes.. yes.. I understand..
Alright crew, I just got a message from a version of myself from another dimention. It seems that somebody named Furbitoman and a clone of Hamburger Pattie got escaped from that dimention into Port Mike. Since there are several Port Mike dimentions, my counterpart decided to warn us.

I can't believe that Tacoman fell fo that trick.
Muhahahahahahahaahhaahhahaahhaahhahahahahahahaha!

Alright, now to see how Inspector Mystery is doing..
Tacoman to Inspector Mystery.. how is your mission doing?
As for the Evil Twin, that message was indeed from my counterpart.. he sent fingerprint, retinal, and voice identification. The computer analyzed them, and found them to be real.

You know, James's notion of leaving Port Mike to its own devices and living happily ever after is suddenly beginning to appeal...

**Sorry, Meeg. Cyber hug.**

Sorry to see you go Rachel, but I think we can take care of the city.
By the way, whatever happened to Naomi Wildman?

Inspector Mystery to Tacoman: I have been investigating this case for 2 days now and I have a bad feeling about this [Eh, whats this I could have sworn I saw a Flying monkey out of the corner of My eye and when I turned around there was nothing there. Hmmm my eyes must be playing tricks on me.] there is one suspcious on campus named Luna Van Loon, A Dutch girl from Oostburg Wisconsin but I doubt she would pull something of this magnatude. Whats this I hear about another you from an alternate universe? good luck on your end. Mystery out

My dear Mr. Tacoman, how do know that the alt-Tacoman isn't being coersed my me. Perhaps he is one of my henchmen...excuse me...henchpersons in that universe. Muhahahahahahahhaahhaahahahahhh!

Good point my evil friend.
Tacoman to Inspector Mystery, the thing you heard is that alledgely a version of myself from another dimention has informed me that a creature named Furbitoman and a clone of Hamburger Pattie have escaped from that dimention into our own. There's still some question as to whether my alternate actually sent it, or some evil person faked the message. By the way, are you still at the detective academy? Tacoman out.

Alright, everybody to the bridge. I need the full crew because I've decided to head for the detective academy to see if Inspector Mystery needs assistance.

Well, I'm back.

What do you mean you didn't even know I was gone?

Well, that's what I get for deciding to leave after I go to the ladies room, instead of making a big show of it in front of everyone.

Did you know the Phantom Returns board is in another universe?

Anyway, I brought back some coconuts, if anyone wants some.

mmmm...coconuts...

Have you been to the other Port Mike universe Pattie? there's a plethoria of coconuts there..
Alright crew, all stations report whether you're ready for liftoff!

I'm ready for lift-off.

Muhahahahahaahahahhahh!

*sob, sob, boo hoo*
We superhero types aren't allowed in the other Port Mike.

I think they're afraid we're not house trained.

Computer: Intruder alert. We have an interuder alert.
Hmm.. somehow the Evil twin got on board.
Security, escort Evil Twin to a brig.
Hmm.. Hussein is still in the brig..
I must deal with him..
knockout gas enters the brig holding Hussein and he falls asleep
and now with my memory thingy I plant new memories of meeting a arms dealer and the deal falling through..
sending Hussein home

Curses! ••••, this is bad! Fortunately, I brought my trans-axionic flux beam which will de-polarize the ship long enough to excape.

Muhahahhaahahhaahahhaahahahahah!

de-polarize the ship? and what does that mean exactally?
Hey, I got the evil guy off the ship before he did evil stuff..

Inspector Mystery to Tacoman: I've been snooping around and I have jusy discovered that Luna van Loon just might be more insideuos than I previosly thought, she has the Manuscript and is going to sell it to a ruthless terrorist organization somewhere on campus. So it looks like I am going to need some backup. Mystery out

Alright, no more fooling around. I need all crew members aboard the ship. Inspector Mystery needs our help.

Who said I hadn't finished my evil stuff before I left. I'm not that dumb; I wouldn't announce my presance before I finished being evil.

Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahhah!

Alright, I'm a reasonable superhero.. so just tell me what you did and I will try to fix it.. or is that to easy? We have a friend to rescue, and no vision of evil is going to stop this mission.

Stop!
The License Tabs on your Tacoship have expired.
Attempt to fly that ship anywhere and I'll have to give you a ticket.

I'm afraid I won't be going with you Tacoman. Since converting to the Light Side and gaining a new body, I have lost all of my Dark Powers.

Also Blondie's reunion tour is at the Port Mike Coliseum tonight and I promised Megan I'd take her there.

Expired license, huh.. well..
going to the license department that deals with superships, waiting in line for a couple hours, and finally getting the tabs
Well, that's done
Alright, at least two aren't going.. anybody else? Pattie? Naomi? Are either Rachel or James around to help?

Well, there's me and the Taco Rangers.

Hmmm... It seems that Tacoman has been delayed. My plan seems to be working.

Muahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahhhah!

Alright.... Taco Rangers, Fluffy, follow me!
Pattie, Naomi, get to your stations.
Tacoship lifts off, and in a few hours is at the detective academy
Tacoman to Inspector Mystery.. we're here at the detective academy.. what's going on, and do you know a good place to park this thing? I perfer a place that could also hold Fluffy the giant poodle and the Taco Rangers. Tacoman out.

And so, a climatic battle looms on the horizon. As Tacoman and his heroic forces rush into the the heat of battle to aid the inspector to stop their enemy Luna van Loon from Conquering the world via the Jeffros Manuscript, a dark text from ages past. Will our heroes arrive in time? stay tuned.

I suggest you it near the alumni house there is lots of space over there. I suggest that you hurry post -haste because luna van Loon and her minions from the R.t.A. {ruthless Terrrists Organization]are at the football Stadium and they are attempting to do their dasterdly dirty deed with The Manuscript. It is now time for the the call to battle.

If it's the Ruthless Terrorists Organization, then shouldn't their acronym be RTO, instead of RTA?

Also, what do they have against Ruth?

Darth, do you dance?

What is the point of keeping this board if youre not going to talk about rachqd and jimbo anymore?

I have an even better idea.. make the ship large and hover over the football field. I have the element of suprise and a ship to hopefully protect me..
Fluffy, Rangers, follow me!
traveling to and hovering over the football stadium
Attention evil doers, put down the manuscript or face the wrath and might of... Tacoman, Fluffy, and the Taco Rangers.

Oh no!!!! its that fool Tacoman and his Tacorangers!!!!1 How did he find me???

I wonder if we can transport the document to the ship..
checking sensors It would appear not. Energy from the document seems to be interefering with the sensors..
On well.. time for a big fight I guess..
a panel opens at the bottom of the tacoship, a beam of light shines near the bad guys. the light becomes a certain shape. Tacoman has transported into the stadium
Alright heafting a large weapon Time to play.

Ya know, I tink we can distract da dog wit a guy in a mailman unyform.

suddenly without warning Inspector Mystery comes zooming into the stadium, on a Motorcyle leading a fleet of Apache helicopters outfited with the latest in X-wing technology {as I.M.} Yo Joe {The inspector then rides up to Vinnie von Venus and knocks him silly} {as I.m.} Taco Rangers Assemble!!!! {and then the fight begins.}

listening Hey.. Flight of the Valkeries.. Cool..
Inspector, I'll go after Luna Van Loon, you take the others!

Five goons surround the Inspector. {As I.M.}Ooooh Seems you wanna party And I have prizes for each of you. {he pulls out of his trenchcoat two kendo sticks and he proceeds to make short work of them. {as I.m.} You boys tired out already? I knew those Martial Arts Intramurals would pay off someday.

Alright Luna, time for a showdown..
Luna's bodyguards lumber forwards
So, bring the hired help, eh?
grabbing a nearby metal pole, smacking the bodyguards with it in a series of athletic moves
By the way Inspector, nice choice of words..

Thank you old friend. Uh tacoman look out behind you. {One of Luna's henchmen come at Tacoman waving a sword. the inspector takes a gun and shoots the henchman.}

Thanks!
picking up the now unusued sword, and in a well executed display of speed and agility performs swordfights with swordman after swordman
Well, I think I got my point across.
Well well.. here comes another henchman..
Say henchman.. do you know what time it is? you don't? Well, it's time for you to die.
By the way Inspector, do we kill Luna or do we leave her be and retrive the manuscript?

Lets just retrive the Manuscript. She will pop up again sometime down the road and we will be ready for her.

Muhahahahahahahahahahahahhahah!

It seems that Tacoman has been drawn into a fight. While they are distracted, I shall sneek in under the cover of night to steal the Manuscript, or at least photocopy it and violate the copywrite laws. I love violating the copywrite laws.

In summarry, Muhahahahahahahahahahahahhahah!

Well, that was pretty easy. Me and the Taco Rangers weren't even needed.
So do we go after Ccabe's Evil Twin next, or isn't he evil enough to worry about?

I wonder if Ccabe's Evil Twin is aware that the manuscript is at the moment here at the football stadium..
Anyway.. Inspector, may I borrow your motercycle?
Thanks..
getting on the moterycycle, zooming towards Luna, and grabbing the manuscript from out of her hands
Hey Luna.. thanks!
Now to see what's the deal with this thing is..
reading the manuscript
hmm..hmm..quite interesting...hello, what's this?
Inspector, did you know there's a section in this thing that talks about turning the world into a low budget movie? You know, the kind shown on MST3K?
Here's the maunscript Inspector..
handing the thing to the good Inspector

Great Scott!!!! that's probably what the legends meant about giving one power to conquer the world. I have a hunch, did it have any predictions about the future? {Sudddenly, the inspector's academy liason, Bernadetto is cut down by terrorist gunfire} You'll pay for that!!! { the inspector then picks up a machine gun and drops the thug that shot his old friend.} Rest in peace old friend.

What kind of predictions are you looking for?
Um.. let me look in the index of this thing..
predictions..
from 15c B.C to 1 A.D..
from 1 A.D. to 14C A.D..
from 15C A.D to 21c A.D..
here we go.. chapter 47.

Meanwhile, in a plotline nobody cares about...

Furbito Man: So 6, what has happened in the time I've been a prisoner? What has happened to Suzy Wood & those three costumed meddlers?

SW6: Uh, well, Suzy has dropped out sight and Hamburgermeister and Burger Boy are dead.

Furbito Man: So it's just a matter of drawing out that slutty woman and the evil Suzy Wood... hmmm...

SW6: *gulp*

Great Scott!!!!
Yep! That's Me!


MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Inspector, here is the manuscript. Put it in a safe place.
glancing at the horde of dead henchpeople
Also.. send a basket of flowers and fruit to the loved ones of the henchpeople. Put in a note saying "In deepest sympathy and apology, Tacoman."
Why am I doing this? Well, I rented the original Austin Powers the other day, and after the credits, they had deleted scenes, and in two of them, the impact of dead henchpeople on their friends and family were shown.

They're dead? Killed by Tacoman and Inspector Mystery?

Well, we'll have revenge!

We'll hunt down Tacoman & Inspector Mystery and kill 'em!

But first we'll torture them!

We'll hang them upside down by their b...

*doorbell rings*

Why look it's an FTD Bouquet, the "We're sorry we had to kill your loved ones" package. Oh, and there's a note.
"In deepest sympathy and apology, Tacoman & Inspector Mystery."

Oh, that's so thoughtful of them.

They're such considerate people.

How could we ever think of getting revenge on them?

Good thinking old friend. now we won't be tortuered and killed by a vengeful mob of dead henchpeople's angry loved ones. By the way, where's Luna?

That was what I was hoping for.
turning around
Luna? I think she got away.. Hmm..
As I said before, here's the manuscript\book. take back to the library, and then I'll give you a lift back to taco Headquarters.
Fluffy, Rangers.. head back to Port Mike. I'll be back there sooner or later.

I better put this in the safe for safekeeping. {Thinking to self.} I wonder when Luna will pop up again? Oh well, at least none of our enemies will be able to get a hold of this.

As soon as Inspector Mystery leaves the room, the safe grows a pair of legs and begins walking. In a little control room in the 'safe' are two lab mice.
Brain: Muhahahahahaha! At last Pinky, with the Jeffros Document we shall take over the world!
Pinky: Narf. Poit. Could we just photocopy the information?
Brain: No Pinky, because we are going to harness the power of the document ourselves!
Pinky: Whatever happened to the plan to put drugs into rachgd's taco recipe and then conquer Fiji?
Brain: Oh, please Pinky, that sounds like something from a silly soap opera. *bop*

Hmmm. Why do I have an overwhelming urge to go back into that room, it's like forgot something very important. oh well, I'll just humor myself and go back in there. Great Scott!!! The Safe!!! It seems to be walking away under it's own power. I better handle this myself. Sensors indicate there are two small lifeforms in there {takes grenade out of his pocket and lobbies it at the "legs" disabling the safe. The Mice run out, the inspector takes out a phaser and fires a warning shot at them causing them to drop the Manuscript} Hmmm it seems like everybody is trying to gettheir hands {or paws} on this,I better find another place to put this.

Inspector, put the document on the taco ship. I want a tour of the academy, and what better guide then yourself? Afterwards, I'll help design a security system secure enough to store the document. Either that, or we can store it at Taco Headquarters for a while..

You could store it in my bank's safe. It couldn't possibly be stolen there.

I'm going to put this at Tacoheadquarters for safekeeping.

good idea Inspector. Alright.. Fluffy and the Taco Rangers have gone back to Port Mike, and it's time to do the same.
pressing a button on my communicator, a beam of light from the tacoship shines on Inepctor Mystery and me, beaming us up
Alright, time to go.
Tacoship leaves the academy, and in a few hours is back at Taco Headquarters

Hello. Is Anybody here?

getting on a nearby microphone
Testing.. Testing.. Where is my loyal crew? Darth? Pattie? anybody?

{touching his Comm Badge} I.m to Tacoman, where is everybody? are we the only ones here?

{touching his combadge} I.M to tacoman: as we were beaming up did you get a strange senceation like time bliping out like that previous time?

Two men, two... superheroes, find themselves inexplicably alone. Friends and allies missing. All exits sealed, and no way to contact the outside world. They must rely on their wits to find a means of escape... or be forever trapped in... The Taco Zone!

I wonder how much time has passed...
Geeze.. somebody should really clean up headquarters.. there's dust everywhere..
I'll see what's going on in the city..
My goodness.. the city's in ruins!

(A voice fills the room)
Oh, Tacoman, darling. Isn't it great that we've been reunited here at the End Of Time!

Oh no.. not you again.. I must be dreaming.. or this board is running down..

{finally catching up to Tacoman} We're trapped at the end of time???!!! How did we get here???? We must find a way back before {dramatic Pause}We're trapped here foreever.

Inspector, could this have something to do with the manuscript?

Hole Burning in the sky
AHHHHHHHHH

I was expelled to this universe by the Overlord. He said I would be an example to all who will resist me when he gets the time to bother invading. Oh well, back to petty thief. Where's the unemployment office?

Oh no you guyes are here too. great.

This is the End Of Time, Inspector Mystery. Forever isn't that long.

And no Zorak, there are no unemployment offices here.

However, Tacoman, since this is the End Of Time the boundaries between Life and the Afterlife have broken down, and all the villains you killed have been dying to meet you again.

Hee hee hee hee hee!

(At Tacoheadquarters, circa the present)
Well, Fluffy, Rangers, I've gone over the transporter system with a fine tooth comb and the only thing I've found is two white mice.

(aside)
I think I'll name them Frankie Mouse and Johnnie Mouse.

But not a trace of Tacoman or Inspector Mystery.

The instruments indicate a transport and rematerialization, but it didn't bring them here.

And I checked the two mice, but they don't have human DNA.

I wonder if the strange energy from the Jeffros Document affected the transporter, and if they are still alive?

Zorak, you shall be exiled here until you learn the error of your ways.

{Swings lightsaber around in a circle and disappears}

Inspector, check the taco ship logs at the time of the manuscript rescue.. focus in on Luna and the maunscript and see if the sensors picked up anything strange.
I'll attempt to reactivate the computer and send a message of some sort on all bands and attempt to contact a few alternate realities.

Oh, Tacoman, Darling. It's the End of Time in all alternate realities. Party over. Out of time. Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999.

Hmmm, if Burritoman doesn't hurry up he's going to miss tormenting Tacoman.

Brain: Come Pinky we must get out of this cage that woman put us in so we can take over the world!

Pinky: I don't know Brain. Maybe we should be doing something more important. Like figuring out the ultimate question to the answer 42!

Brain: Or maybe we can answer what's good for a headache.

Pinky: What is good for a headache, Brain?

Brain: This. (hits Pinky over the head with a pencil)

Pinky: Narf, poit! Frankly Brain that's not as painful as the headache I got from you hitting me over the head with a stapler.

Brain: Well, let's see if we can find one, shall we?

Hmm.. if it's the End Of Time, perhaps we can somehow send a message back through time to our correct time...
working at computer Ah.. if I build a small time capsule, fit it with basic time travel equipment, then send a message back to when we got lost, and add various sensor logs regarding the disappearence.. it just might work..

Oh, darling. How will you know how far to send it? Your capsule could end up thousands to millions of years too late or early.

And what about the Time Trapper's Iron Curtain of Time stopping it?

Tacoman, you were right, at that exact moment there was an unknown anomly in the flux-ionization unit. it had a reading of 47.5,kilons. What if we were to go to the transporter and realign the relay matrix to bringing a reverse in the chroniton flow by my calculations it would bring our patterns back to the present, it has a .00005% of error by my calculations.

Hmm.. it just might work..
here's my idea regarding the time capsule.. since we know when we disappeared, we can send it back a few hours after we left, telling the crew what we found. If we can get a message to the crew in the past, would they need to match the transporter readjustments in order for your plan to work?
Also Inspector, what do you know about this Iron Curtain of Time?

The Iron Curtain of Time is what the Time Trapper used to keep the Legion of Super-Heroes from following him to his hideout at the End Of Time.

It prevented the Legionnaires from travelling forward in time, although we never saw it stop someone from going backward in time.

Alright.. Constructing the capsule...done.
Message has been recorded and inserted into the capsule.. Useful data has been inserted into the capsule..
And now, to get the attention of anybody around... a large blinking light and a message saying "this is not a bomb, it is a time capsule"
Since this operation requires the thing to travel through time and not location, it is a somewhat simple device.
So.. activing the device, which opens a small wormhole to the past into which it disappears

By the way, yes It has been programmed to enter the time stream a few hours after the Inspector and I disappeared.

Brain: Yes, Pinky. We've managed to escape from the cage, and get to the main computer, where I shall activate every Tacoweapon and force the world to accept me as their leader.

Pinky: Brain what's that buzzing noise?

Brain: What buzzing noi... (the time capsule appears above Pinky and The Brain squishing them flat)

Pinky: Wow, Brain now that's good for a headache! Narf!

Brain: Poit.

THey should be receiving the "parcel" right about now. according to my calculations.

Rachel?It is me, James, I am leaving Las Vegas Again tomorrow morning, if you can write me, please use the hotmail address, I will be able to check that email,. How are we doing in here? Are we still in the cast? LOL

James, I cannot believe you made me come back here! I don't know about you, mate, but I am definitely retired from JARSO. It was doing such strange things to my mind! I began to think I was psychic. And that I saw a giant monster poodle named Fluffy. I just couldn't take it anymore!
I think we're somewhere in the South Pacific, living happily ever after.

Also, I know about the travelling thing. You e-mailed me, remember?
And I thought I was the one who had amnesia!

Hmm.. I wonder what's wrong.. There hasn't been a response to my time capsule..

What's this, 'This is not a bomb, it is a time capsule, Tacoman'.
(She gently picks it up)
Oh, Frankie and Johnnie got out of their cage.

(After putting the mice back in their cage, she examines the device and corrects the transporter to function across time, this takes all night)

It's not working.
The beam is being deflected by something in the time stream.

Wait a minute! If the time capsule came back through the barrier then the transporter in the future should be able to send Tacoman and Inspector Mystery back as well. Providing all the parts are working and they have a powerful energy source.

(Patty writes a note asking Tacoman what he needs to repair the future transporter and sticks it in his safe with the time capsule, so he can send the answer back)
I hope he thinks to check his safe.

Strange.. there's a light blinking on the safe..
opening the safe and discovering the note and capsule
Inspector, I found a note from Hamburger Pattie and the time capsule in the safe. The note is asking us what we need to repair the transporter in this time period.
In your opinion, what do we need to get this thing operational again?

MMM softened lab mice.

(Eats pinky and the brain)

Inspector, I have an idea...
what if we install a mini transporter with pattern buffer in the time capsule, beam ourself into the buffer, and send the capsule back to our own time?
We would need to preprogram the capsule beforehand, of course...
Or, we could devise a way to break us down into data patterns in order to send us into the capsule..
By the way, what happened to the Jeffros manuscript? did it transport with us, or did it stay in our own time?

I have it right here in my coat. here it is. {takes it out of coat.} great Scott!!! the readings on this thing are off the scale!!! this is whats been disrupting the time stream!!! I have an idea. what if we were to siphon power away from the ion-dispensor into the teleporter that would negate the Manuscript"s energies and we could send this thing into theheart of a super nova. Then reverse the process and we would arrive safely back in our own time.

Zorak! You know you're on parole!
[raises arm and zaps Zorak]

Yeah.. it might work Inspector. By the way, you win the technobabble award for today.
I'll let you work on it. If you need the time capsule, I can lend it to ya.

Inspector, after scanning the city, I have discovered not only a large satallite dish, but solar paneling.
If I put the paneling on the dish, connect that to an amplification device, make a connection to the transporter, would that give us the energy to transport back to our own time?

I should Move to Port Mike where there are no superheroes.

Good. Now that you're not wandering around, let's get to our next guest. Where is he, Moltar?
[pause]
Moltar? MOLTAR!

yes, old friend I believe it would. I have just sent the Manuscript into the heart of a supernova, hopefully it will never trouble us again and we shouldhave no trouble getting back to our time.

Alright.. warm up the transporter, we're going home!

Click your heels together three times and say, There's no place like home.