Uh. What on earth could that be! As every one looks to where Victor pointed, he and Lance make a run for it!

Victor and Lance get back to Lance's car and drive to the docks and get on board a boat owned by Victor. Soon they are on their way to Fiji.

Unknown to Victor and Lance there's a bomb on the boat. The angry fisherman has been following them since they were at the airport plotting his revenge. Could the bomb be his doing?

Find out later on Port Mike!

The five board curse has been broken!

But as there is only 3 or 4 posters, is it worth it?

Find out later on Port Mike!

It's worth it to me.

And besides a friend of mine will start posting as a new character here in Port Mike within a month or less. So we'll have at least one more poster here. And you never know when past posters (or other new posters) will show up.

SO THERE!

Hey Victor, have you ever thought of starting a character on the LICC board?
looking off into the distance, enjoying the ride. Lance dons sunglasses and suddenly looks up
My god... what is that? Victor, is that a large shark in the distance?
what have we got in the way of shark repellent?
Lance rummages around the ship, not discovering the bomb, which has been placed at the bottom hull of the boat.. Pant, Pant.. Puf.. Puff

It would have to be a bit part.

Hey! That's my line!

Do you keep your teeth pearly white?

Here take the controls. I'll look. While searching for the shark repellent, Victor finds the bomb.

I didn't find the shark repellent. But I found this! With that, Victor tosses the bomb over the side of the ship. The bomb explodes killing the shark.

I'm increasing our speed. I don't want to be here when the other sharks pick up the scent of blood.

AAARRRGGH! Me other leg be hurt now!

Did you hear something?

I think it came from that dinghy over there... piloted by a very angry fisherman...
Oh dear... I believe that's the fisherman who's been following us for quite a while now...

(After several hours of travelling at sea, Lance & Victor decide to pull into a small Mexican port)

Welcome to Puerto Mika! Please have your passports ready. Anything to declare?

Victor suddenly disappears.

Watch out for open manhole covers.

Victor, where are you?
So this is Puerto Mika... I've heard a bit about it...

Aargh! I'll be a-gettin' me revenge on that thar Pepperman...

Suddenly his face goes through several contortions...

Captain Tacoman? Where am I? Where's my Red Shirt? Why am I in a dinghy?

His face goes through several more contortions...

Aargh! That were very strange, fer sure!

And what be this here in the bottom o' me dingy?

Picks up a strange, yet somehow annoying object, which starts to speak...

Hi! I'm a 30 second bomb!
Hi! I'm a 29 second bomb!
Hi! I'm a 28 second bomb!
...

Arrgh! This be no good.

Throws the annoying talking bomb, which somehow came over from Phantom/LICC, overboard... Amazingly, it lands on Lance Pepperman's boat...

Suddenly a blue-armored figure appears in Lance Pepperman's boat.

Uhhh...where am I? Who am I? And why am I wearing strange blue armor? Huh, it says "Milkshake" on the breastplate. Guess that might be my name. Oh look, there's someone over there. Hey, he looks familiar. Hi, have I met you before?

looking down at the bomb, and the at the fisherman
Well, thank you very much...
Lance scoops up the bomb, which by this time has counted down to 10, and throws it with all his strength into the sea, where it explodes harmlessly
adressing Milkshake
I don't think we've met before...but it's nice to have a new friend in the small city of Puerto Mika...

By the way, hi. I'm Lance Pepperman. You wouldn't happen to know what's going on around here? First my friend Victor disappears, then the Angry Fisherman over there calls for a "Captain Tacoman," asks about a "red shirt," a strange talking bomb shows up, and then you appear...

looks like they're trying more sweeps week gimmicks to raise ratings. Superhero's, talking bombs... this show needs rachgd back to slap the writers back in line.

Coming up next on K-NIT TV-47...

THE ADVENTURES OF THE LICC

Thrill to the adventures of LUST IN SPACE!

We need the ratings!

Tacoman? Redshirt? Wow, that sounds familiar. I still don't remember anything, though. Well, if these bombs keep showing up, we'd better get this boat to shore. Why don't we dock at that juice bar at the pier? By the way, why is that fisherman over there angry at you? It looks like he wants to attack us again. I'll raise a shield around the boat with this armor. Wait, how did I know how to do that?

The camera angle turns to Lance Pepperman, watching a tv in Puerto Mika. He is watching the add for th LICC series
Hmm... the Milkshake I rescued and is sitting nearby looks a lot like the Commander Milkshake of the LICC series...
The show comes on, and is dealing with the rescue of Frangelica, who has been transformed into a Sith

What's the quickest way to get rachgd back? I know! Yells BUFFY, THE VAMPIRE SLAYER! I just hope that works.

Lance is watching the LICC series, when suddenly Victor appears on the screen. Victor looks very confused.
What... what the heck is Victor doing on the show?
On the screen, Captain Tacoman examines the dimentional viewer, which shows Lance on the ocean. The scene shifts to Commander Milkshake in Engineering in his battle with Q. MIlkshake wins the battle, then promptly disappears. Lance looks over at his new friend Milkshake
Hmm... I wonder if this could be the real Commander Milkshake...
Excuse me, friend... what is the last thing you remember before appearing in my boat?

JARSO II

I don't really know. I was...talking?...with someone. I sort of remember doing something very, very difficult, then discovering something amazing. Everything is a blank.

Are you sure we haven't met before?

I don't think we've met... But I've noticed that Captain Tacoman on TV looks a heck of a lot like me...

I hate May sweeps.

Lance notices that the TV is on pause. This is one of those new TVs with a hard drive. Lance rewinds to the point of Commander Milkshake's battle with Q
Mr. Milkshake, I believe that somehow the show reflects what's really going on some where. I want you to watch this bit to see if this jogs your memory.
Lance unpauses the scene and lets this Milkshake watch

ILLEGAL OPERATION - WINDOWS HAS SHUT DOWN

Suddenly the TV stops playing and displays the blue screen of death!

I'm sorry, but you will all be hearing from my attorneys now. That is obviously corporate slander, and it interferes with our Freedom To Innovate™.

As the last of the Microsoft lawyers leave the juice bar where the out-of-court negotiations were held, a relieved Milkshake turns to Pepperman.

I'm glad they settled for half the known universe. Who needs Andromeda and Cluster M382 anyway? I seem to be remembering more and more about where I came from. I was on a ship, I think. And I definitely remember you being there, except you were wearing a costume. And your name wasn't Pepperman, but something similar. Tapeman? Catoman? Something like that.

As I said before, I noticed that Captain Tacoman in this LICC show looks a bit like me..

Tacoman...hmm...THAT'S IT!!!!

Milkshake gets a stunned look for a minute, then seems to shake off the effects of his amnesia.

I remember...everything! Where am I? I must be in an alternate dimension. You really look like Tacoman. Wait a minute, didn't I see you in the crowd during the Rose Parade last January?

Anyway, I have to get back to the LICC. I don't seem to have any provision for interdimensional travel in my armor, but perhaps you have some naturally occurring rifts in your universe?

Rifts? I have no idea...
So, how did you come to be in this dimension anyway?
Do you happen to have scanners of some sort in that armor? I ask because if you do, I have a small statue for you to scan.
As for where you are, you are in an apartment in the town of Puerto Mika. You showed up suddenly in a small boat I was in. That was after an Angry fisherman was looking for his "red shirt," a small talking bomb appeared in his boat, and my friend Victor disappeared.

(Walks up to Port Mike)
Hey

Yes, I do have scanners built into this armor. I don't really know how I got here. I'm still fuzzy on that. I think Q was there, and he told me something important. Hmmm.

I'm guessing I'm on Earth or an equivalent planet. Late 20th or early 21st century, I suppose. If you don't have spacetravel, I can't slingshot around the sun to travel into the future to a time where there are dimensional rifts. I guess I'm stuck here.

(Meanwhile in a Port Mike hospital Lance's Butler is recovering from his injuries)

The one good thing about it is that it broke the brainwashing making me nice and courtious.

(His niece entered)
Niece: Ready to go, uncle?

More than ready. This place is just getting to weird for me.

Niece: What's this? The paramedics said you were clutching it when they found you.
(She holds out a statue of a gold booby)

Hell if I know. Looks like a piece of junk.
(Throws it into the garbage)
Take me home, Pattie.

(His niece wheels him out of the room. The garbage is later dumped in a landfill where the Gold Booby stays for a few hundred years.)

Well, Lance, I suppose I could hang up my helmet and start a software company or a coconut juice bar until I am rescued. Actually, this might be a nice place to retire. I know I'm only 29 but...

Suddenly Commander Milkshake is sucked into a unstable dimensional rift that is so improbable it would never happen at that exact time, exact place, exact plot development in a skrilkijillion zillion lotsahillion years.

Goodbye...

There goes a good man. I hope he is sucessful in whatever he does. Now, I wonder where Victor is..
Looking out the window and noticing things getting dark, houses being moved, and sidewalks being rolled up. Lance opens the window and yells:
Hey, the board isn't completely dead yet! don't start shutting things down until at least Victor gets back!
as suddenly as it began, the lights go back on, houses are put in their proper places, and the sidewalks are put back
Metahumor, don't you love it?

as lance walks across the room there are three cowboys behind him singing "Happy Trails To you."

startled, Lance looks behind him and sees the cowboys
How did you three get in here?
I might as well take another look at the Booby statue...
strange... the gold is crinkling, and it smells like... chocolate?
Lance inspects the statue more closely and discovers that at some point in his adventures, somebody swapped the real bird with a chocolate substitute
Hmm.. I wonder who did this, where is the real statue, and what is it's ultimate secret?

Suddenly, a black limo screeches to a halt inches away from Lance. The door opens, and a beefy hand yanks Lance into the car. The limo, tires spinning, roars off into the night.

Inside the limo, Lance is wedged between two huge bruisers. The other seat, facing Lance, is shrouded in darkness. A voice eminates from the dark.

Ah, Mr. Pepperman. We have been waiting to speak with you. We know you are searching for the real Golden Booby. This search is futile. Instead, we offer you a choice. You may aid our "organization", or you may find yourself in a perilous situation. It's your choice. You don't have to answer now, just cease your search for the Booby. We will contact you soon. Goodbye, Mr. Pepperman.

The limo stops in the worst part of Puerto Mika. The door is flung open, and Lance is thrown out into a garbage heap. As he shakes off his dizziness, the limo tears off into the night.

Well, that was unusual...
As Lance wanders out of the heap, he notices an odd glint of light. Upon investigating, he discovers a golden statue.
What? Is this the real Booby? Nope.. it's actually a sparrow holding a coconut... Oh well..

(A man approaches Lance)
Hi, you look familiar. Have we met?

looking up at John
Strange, you look somewhat familiar also... I know where I've seen you... You look like Josh Rikard from that "Adventures of the LICC" telvision show!

What does do the initals O.G.T.D.U. mean?

Yeah, I'm the twin brother of the guy who plays him

That would explain that...
I have a theory about that show... somehow the creators of it are able to monitor the real LICC group and, using that information, produce the show...
Well.. I suppose I should tell you a bit about myself..
Lance talks about the glory days of Port Mike, including Rachgd, the Nightshades, and other stuff. He then describes the decline in storyline and characters and ends with his adventurs with the Golden Booby and his entrance into Puerto Mika
So, there you go, my life story.

I have a confession to make. I'm not really that guy's brother. I don't know who in the world he is. I just look a heck of a lot like him. I was trying to see if I could locate him and some guy told me to come here. That's when I found you. It didn't take me long when the scenery started to move. I saw you get into some limo so I decided to see if I could talk to you.

Look at the Email address.

Suddenly Victor appears in a flash of light over Lance and lands on top of him.

Sorry. What's going on? Who's that guy who looks like Josh?

Hi Victor. Glad to see you back. You can get off me now.
As I was telling John here, I suspect that creators of the LICC show can somehow monitor the real LICC and are able to produce the show based on that information.
It would seem that John is not related to the guy who plays Josh Rikard on the show, but just happens to look a lot like him.
Here's what's been going on since you disappared.
Lance describes the various events, from the appearence of Milkshake, to the almost ending of the story, to Lance being taken by the black limo
So you see, it's been rather interesting here.
So, where've you been?

You wouldn't believe it if I told you.

{suddenly the two of them are attacked by 7 goons from the O. G.T.D.U attack them but then the Lonesome cowboy jumps out ofthe shadowsand with expertrise riveling that of Walker, Texas Ranger dispatches the villians.}

It was a dark and stormy night...

A dark figure sprints down the street. As he passes Lance and Victor he gasps...

Search in Crow City for the Booby! Don't let the Corporation stop you!

He sprints off.

(Watches all of this)
You guys live strange lives.

You got that right, my friend.
John, Lance, and Victor wander by a store with televisions in the windows. The program is interrupted by the face of Captain Tacoman. Tacoman speaks, saying:
Captain Tacoman to all galaxies and dimentions, I am repeating the call for help. Various Sith ships, including those of Darths Fury and Armus are attacking Earth. Included in this message are directions to the Earth of the LICC dimention.
the message concludes by giving the directions, and the current program continues, which strangly enough, is the LICC show.
See? another strange event.
By the way Victor, I think I told you that the Golden Booby we carried around was nothing but a chocolate replica, right?

excuse me, gentlemen, do any of you need french doors?

Yes you told me Lance.

red, is that you? What are you doing here in Puerto Mika? Besides selling french doors I mean.

i opened a new branch down in puerta mika, and i thought i'd see how it was doing.

I've been thinking of putting in french doors in my Port Joel house. But Lance and I are kind of busy. Victor tells red about the Golden Booby and everything that happened so far (except about him disappearing and coming back.).

red, Do you know anything about the Corperation?

Does red know anything about the Corperation?

Will Victor ever tell Megan about the 1st time they met in Port Joel? Better yet, will she ever bother to post again?

Will Lance's Snooty Butler ever return?

Was that the real Golden Booby Lance's butler threw away (Doubtfull. Otherwise this fun and strange adventure ends too quick.)? Or was it one of the 47 copies of the Booby?

Find out the answers to these and other meaningless questions on Port Mike!

red, are you even listening to me? Lance, lets get going to Crow City. John you're welcome to join us.

Victor doesn't let on, but he's very worried about the people following them. And he still can't quite place the person he recognized at Lance's house.

Sure, why not.. I've never been to Crow City.
What's the place like?

no, i don't know anything about any corporation. sorry.

I guess we're heading to Crow City then.

Onward then! A few hours later they arive in Crow City via Victor's boat.

Arrgh! Me arms be tired from a-rowin' so much after that thar Pepperman! I'll be a-gettin' me revenge soon, and he'll be a-headin' to Davy Jones' Locker fer sure! Arrgh!

We need to convert some of our currency, get supplies, maps and talk to any english speaking locals that might know something about the Golden Booby.

Out of character.Is it just me or does this feel like it's going to turn into Tomb Raider?

You do that Victor, while I find us a nice apartment or some other housing...

John and Victor come back from getting supplies and maps. They meet Lance who has found a luxurious apartment for them to stay in.

Lance, The only person I found who would say anything about the Booby told me we should go Southeast and talk to a man called...Suddenly a shot rings out hittinging Victor in the arm.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! Sweet mother. AAAAaaaa!!!

Victor ducking and clutching his arm.Looks like John...and I drew some unwanted...attention to us.

Victor! are you alright?
Lance and John take Victor down to the car they have rented and take Victor to the hospital
Excuse me, my friend has been shot. He needs to see a doctor... I was a doctor at one time, but gave it up to go on adventures..

Dr. Pepper, please check C0₂ levels.

Dr. Brown, your bottled soda is ready.

Dr. Doctor, give me the news, I got a bad case of lovin' you!

Hey, maybe we can save on cast salaries by putting on reruns during the summer!

---

Quote:

By Matthew Patterson (Mpatterson) on Wednesday, July 7, 1999 - 12:45 pm:
We have recieved complaints that the "James and rachgd's soap opera" boards ae getting too Phantom Returns-ish. Therefore, I have created this board as an actual soap opera between racgd and James and whoever chooses to participate within the confines of a soap. The original boards will remain the receptacles of wackiness that they always were.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By ScottN, who has decided to remain a villain in this soap opera, explaining his evil plot. on Wednesday, July 7, 1999 - 01:22 pm:
Mwahahahahaha! I'm glad this new board is up. I didn't think that all that other stuff was soap-operaish. Now, along with CCabe's Evil Twin, I can steal rachgd's secret taco recipes, corner the taco market, make a fortune, and become the secret power behind the city council of Port Mike!

I shall, of course, use rachgd's pregnancy, or non-pregnancy to blackmail her into giving me the taco recipes without her calling the police.

Did I get enough traditional soap opera plot items in this post?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By ScottN, concerned about the lunacy next door! on Wednesday, July 7, 1999 - 01:23 pm:
Also, if you are the moderator, Mpatterson, perhaps, you could prune as needed to make sure this stays soap opera, and not Phantom-ish.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By Matthew Patterson (Mpatterson) on Wednesday, July 7, 1999 - 01:41 pm:
Wish I could, but Ben Jackson will have to do that.

I, for my part, will be an independent villain bent on stealing the taco recipes for myself, using them to conquer Fiji, and impressing rachgd so that she will fall in love with me. james isn't the only suitoe out there…


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By Tacoman, asking questions. on Wednesday, July 7, 1999 - 01:58 pm:
So now we have two boards in which to rescue the fair and lovely Rachel?

---

I'm sorry, I should have posted my e-mail address so that all of you out there in TV land could email me with thanks for my wonderful idea!

Lance, did you see who shot Victor? I didn't see anyone with a gun.

I think briefly saw something just outside the door... It looked to me like a television executive...
Besides, a hospital scene gives an excuse for clever loudspeaker jokes...

Doc Martens, your shoes are ready.

Dr. Jekyll, your patient is Hyde-ing.

General Announcement: Doc Worker is on strike.

Dr. Scholl, the police have caught the footpad who robbed you.

Dr Kimble, please report to prosetics . Dr Goldburg, please report to Dr Spear.

I said Dr. Mister M.D, can you tell me what is ailing me?

Dr. Zhivago, Lara is paging you.

Dr. No, please see the in-SPECTRE after you finish with the Bond-aid.

Doc Hollywood, your car is ready.

Dr. Emmett Brown, you are out of time.

receives a registered letter...

let's see... what?

---

Quote:

our demographic marketing consultants show that the viewers do not like characters who refuse to use capital letters. therefore your contract is terminated immediately, and you are being replaced with the port mike wresting federation smackdown series.

very sincerely,

k-nit tv47 executives

---

Lance, John. The man's name was....Flint Stone. He's....no relation..to.....Garth.

Just then a VERY attractive blonde female nurse with long legs slowly saunters in.

Um... hello. What can we do for you?
Victor, the man you mentioned... do people call him Fred?

Uh, hi. I'm John, this is Lance. Who might you be?

There's something I've got to do... and it's quite obvious...
HELLO NURSE!!!!

Say, I was just thinking that we should settle here and start a detective agency...

I find the new version of Port Mike to be highly unsatisfying. Seasons 1-4 and the first part of season 5 were very good, but once rachgd left the cast, the show went completely downhill. I give it a 2 out of 10.

You try doing it with only a few people posting!

Sorry I don't mean to yell. It's just that I'm doing my best like everyone else here and all you can seem to do is complain. Also, It doesn't help that I can't post every day either. I'm just trying to have fun.

Do you have any constructive critisism? Like, how we can make it better?

Sorry about the above post. But like I said, "I'm just trying to have fun.". Not to mention that nearly all of the past posters aren't even bothering with this board anymore. Like I said up at the top "It matters to me.". This was the first soap board I ever posted to and I'm not going to stop just because you don't like it.

The nurse leaves

Her name's Sally. She doesn't speak much. Then again she doesn't have to.

As for a detective agency. No thanks! I was just starting to get settled back into my house before all this stuff with the Booby started.

Soon dear cousin you and you friends will be dead and this..."Golden Booby" will be mine! MMuwhahahahahahahahahaahaaaa!!! I wonder. Who's after the Booby besides me? It wasn't my men chasing them or shooting at Victor. My men have only been following them.

Curiouser and curiouser.

That's MY line, Mr. Return Of Morgan Nightshade!

What do you expect? I'm EVIL!

Congratulations, Morgan Nightshade! As the 100th poster to the 6th episode of Port Mike, you get a wonderful prize pack containing:
A giant blow-up dog!
Two firestarting sticks!
A lifetime supply of canned eels!
A set of flame-retardant boxer shorts!
And much much more!

(suddenly mad, John lunges at the T.V. critic)
YOU WANT A GOOD SHOW?!! I'LL SHOW YOU A (beep) GOOD SHOW! YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN!(beep, beep, blip, censor, #!!*&%$>>>!~!`#!!!!)
(Lance has to hold John back as he tries to get the critic. Somewhere there is a faint noise. It sounds like people yelling "marry, marry" or "berry, berry" or "Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!!!!"
Meanwhile, John gains control of himself.)
Sorry, i'm sorry. I shouldn't have burst out like that.

Calm....down John. I already....have. I'm just going...to let it go without...another word.

John, you just about gave the censor guy a heart attack!
By the way... was there any reason for the nurse, or was she here just for sex appeal?

I have only one thing to do on this show, and I'm d*mn well going to do it!

P.S. Has anyone seen Doc from the cruise?

Was that one thing to make the guys on this show act like Yakko and Wakko?

HELLOOOOOOOOOO NURSE!

The person who wrote in the nurse:Hey! I created this particular attractive nurse (Named Sally, like I said.). So I'll be making any posts for her "Attractive Nurse".

Sally:I checked his blood pressure, made him take his pills and gave him his dinner. But you two (Lance and John) seemed rather distracted.

Helloooooo nurse! Lance, John. You two search for the Golden Booby without me for now.

Author's note:I'm taking a break so I can concentrate on my character over on the LICC board. So you two keep on posting. Plus it gives us chance to hear even more hospital speaker jokes.

Well, we WERE distracted. Let's go find that booby that you guys have been looking for.

Isn't it on the Attractive Nurse?

Forgive me... I am about to break character for a second...
Hmm... LICC character... I wonder if he is Observer...
Didn't somebody say where we might the thing?

Hint to Lance. Sometimes reread earlier posts!

The person Victor and John spoke to told them to go southeast and talk to a man named Flint Stone.

Hi, I'm Joe Smith. Victor told me you three could use some help. So I flew down here as fast as I could and boy are my arms tired.Rim shot.

Seriously Lance, just give me some orders and I'll obey 'em.

Victor & Morgan Nightshade's author. I created this guy Joe further up on the board. I thought it might be good for Lance and John to have some help while Victor's in the hospital. Just don't kill him off. Also since I liked Morgan I changed my mind and decided to bring him back. Villians are always coming back from the dead on soaps anyway. Bye for now.

Boy, Lance does have a sense of authority, almost like he was used to command. Heh heh. So the Golden Booby is really something valuable, huh? I can see where the inspiration came from, the Maltese Falcon. We really need some serious plot twists to revive this board and get people to come back, though.

I wonder if someone form O.G.T.D.U. shot him? Maybe we should go check them out.

O.G.T.D.U.?

Say, we havn't heard from them in a while... they promised to get in touch with me..Maybe if I...
Alright, let's get the car, go Southeast, and get that Booby!

Overthrowing Governments Through Diversity and Unhappiness.

(Meanwhile, at K-NIT TV-47 studios, the executive needs to find ways to boost ratings, or face cancellation. Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!)
Executive's Assistant: Sir! I have it! We'll do a contest! We'll put the crew of MST3K crew in a number of different places on one of the episodes. The viewer that sees Tom and Crow and Mike and everyone else the most or are the closest to how many times they are in the episode will win $1,000,000 or a trip to Hawaii or something.
Exectuive: Too expensive, I like the contest idea though. If they can spot the crew of MST3K the most, and are the most accurate, they will get to meet the cast of Port Mike. Brilliant! This show's been on long enough. If this doesn't work, they'll be gone. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The car with Lance, John, Joe and Victor turns onto I-47 heading south-east. Suddenly a black helicopter with the initials O.G.T.D.U. appears out of nowhere and speeds toward the car. Inside the car, the lite-rock station Lance was listening to crackles and a deep voice speaks.

"Mr. Pepperman. We advised you to stop your search for the Booby. You disobeyed. We here at O.T.G.D.U. do not like to be disobeyed. Regretfully, we must destroy your automobile and shoot each of you several times as a lesson to other would-be treasure hunters. Goodbye, Mr. Pepperman."

On the helicopter, several large machine guns open out of secret panels. The helicopter opens fire, nearly blasting the car in a hail of bullets as our heroes tear off down the empty freeway.

Actually, Victor was still in the hospital recovering from being shot.

(At the side of the highway, three people stood as the car drove by. Actually it was a man with a gold robot and a robot that looked a lot like a gumball machine. They threw a gun to the guys in the car who were fleeing the helicopter)
Hey thanks guys!

Mike: Hey guys, can you do anything to distract the helicopter? I can't drive and be shot at at the same time!!

Tom: Well, we have a monitor and a tape of Manos: The Hands of Fate handy.

Mike: Show it to them!

Crow: Will, do, Mike!

(The helicopter pilots stare at the strange film being shown out the rear window of M&TB's car. Suddenly, the helicopter explodes in a tremendous fireball.)

Mike: Good going, guys! Now, let's get back to Milwaukee! Cave Dwellers is almost on!

The Bots: All right! Cool!

Now that was an impressive explosion...
Like John said, thanks guys!
So, does anybody have the map to the statue?

Wait a minute.
(He points the gun out one of the now broken windows. He pulls the trigger. Water comes out)
They gave us a water gun!

Maybe I can find another gun...
Lance searches the glove compartment and discoveres another gun. He also points the gun out the window and fires. This time, a small flag with the word "bang" appears from the barrel
Well, that was pointless...

suddenly, a black car from the O.T.G.D.U. pulls in front of Lance's car. It releases lots of slippery oil
AARRGG! Hold on people!
Lance attempts to regain control of the car, but it crashes anyway. Luckily, no one is hurt badly, but they now have no means of transportation

(strangely enough, they crash right next to a sign that has the bots and Mike on it)
Ratings will go up! NO! We've only had eight posts! They're not going up. Cancel the show!
The assistant: Uh,sir? We, uh can't.
Executive: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Joe's mobile phone rings (It was undamaged.). It's the guy John and Victor talked to. He came to see Victor in the hospital and Victor gave him the number. The man gives them more precise directions to where Flint Stone lives. By foot they are there just before sunset. Joe knocks on the door.

Anyone home?

(A undead wraith raises from the Earth and hides in the Shadows until Tacoman Appears.)

In the middle of a crowded Port Mike sidewalk, a puff of smoke appears. When it clears, Tacoman stands, looking around
Hey... where's my battlesuit? Oh good... it's small again.
Now to do my mission
Stopping a person on the street
Excuse me, but where is the Galaxy of Yarn shop?

Two blocks east of here, third door on the left.

A. Person sneezes, causing him to miss the fact that two men and a woman have appeared behind the dark-haired man in the yellow t-shirt. All three are looking vaguely disoriented, and puzzledly examine their uninteresting streetwear, as if they had expected to be garbed otherwise. The four nondescript strangers move off quietly and in no time find themselves inside the quaint little shop, where they will soon complete their mission unobtrusively.

Tacoman looks closely at his new companions
Adon? Superbob? Frangelica? I thought you were supposed to stay in Phantom Returns...
Stepping up to the counter
Excuse me, I wish to purchase your finest shrubbery.

Tacoman, you are powerless in this universe, But I as a Wraith of Pure hatered am very powerful. Dark Shadows was a soap Opera, after all Mhahaha.

(Physically attacks and starts wrestleing with Tacoman, Tacoman's life is slowly being drained away as the wraith drinks his blood and sucks his on soul.)

When you are dead, I will have you reanimated as an undead Lich. Only a white magic user can harm me. AND WHITE MAGIC DOSEN'T EXIST HERE!

Note: A Exocist Priest might also suffice.

AAARRGGG!!!
Somebody help me!
Adon, if I don't make it, and it looks like I might not, go back to our home dimention and tell Milkshake that he's the new leader of the LICC..
Tacoman attempts to punch the Wraith, but even though the punch connects, the Wraith is not affected
ChAoS! X! Help me!
Somebody get a Exorcist!
Tacoman passes out

(Passing by the shop is none other than Lance, Joe, and John. John looks into the shop and notices that a dark being is draining the life of someone that looks exaclty like Lance except he has a taco on his shirt)
Lance! Is that who I think it is? Maybe if you go in you can confuse that thing into thinking that you're the guy from LICC! If you don't, that guy probably won't make it.

Suddenly, the paving stones under the Wraith rumble and crack. A loud vibration is felt. Then...

KA-BOOM!

Get out of here, undead fiend! You shall not win this easily!

ChAoS thrusts one elemental hand(?) into the Wraith, which pulses with energy. The metaphysical being then reaches out and touches Tacoman with the other hand(?).

There, villain. As you drain the lifeforce from this mortal, I am draining the lifeforce from YOU and restoring Tacoman. X! We still need your help! I do not have the skills to dispel undead!

Just then, the now-familiar black limo crashes through the wall into the yarn shop. Three beefy enforcers step out, only to find a hideous black being attacking a costumed man, and a STRANGE creature of light and matter attacking the Wraith.

"Uh oh. Wait a minute, isn't that Pepperman in that disguise? We can't let that black thing kill him, 'cause the Boss wants to do the job. Frank, call the Wraithbusters. Boy, the things you see in this job."

The three O.G.T.D.U. enforcers load their weapons and advance on the black creature.

The door of the shop is kicked open by two people in goggle-eyed face masks sporting ghostbuster logos. Each carries on their back what looks like a supersoaker powered by a dustbuster. They charge over to where the man in yellow writhes on the floor.

"Looks like we've got a Class 6 here. Better crank it up."
"Stand back, people!"

The two masked figures turn on their machines. Vacuum cleaner noises mingle with a horrible screech as the Undead Wraith is dragged off of the young man and imprisoned in one of the backcases. Their work done, the two Catchers sweep the room with a red laser, and depart.

The woman quickly purchases a shrubbery from the frightened clerk behind the counter, and joins the two men who stand wringing their hands over their friend's inert body. They are unaware that several blocks away, the Wraith has manages to wriggle out of its case and is again at large...

White magic may not work here but I'm wiling to bet that a wooden Louisville Slugger will. (hits the Wraith with a baseball bat. THe Writh is slighly confused.) I'm going to keep hitting you with this bat until you leave. (Whack!)

(In a puff of smoke, the Observer appears. Instead of brown robes, he now wears a sharp pin-striped suit and wingtips. He looks like a Vice-President of Sales for some company)

Hello, all. Say, this isn't the LICC dimension. Where are we? Wait, is that...

(Observer bends over Tacoman's unconcious form. Concerned, the powerful being touches the hero's forehead lightly, then stands up)

He'll be fine. His system is just in shock from a forced life essence drain. What happened here, Frangelica?

I don`t want to be a deus "X " machina, but...

X flings the Wraith aside, and restores Tacoman

Tut, tut, not good so far. That Milkshake oughtta make a good LICC captain...

He turns to the owner of the Galaxy of Yarn

Get this man a shrubbery.

What, it's our fault that the Wraith followed us here? And I've already bought your smegging shrubbery. Here it is.

Gives X the shrubbery.

Can we go home now?

Lance, John, and Joe emerge from their hiding place while all the action is going on
Come on guys, I'm going to investigate.
The group enters the store
Hi.. anything we can do?
The group in the store turns toward the newcomers. They notice Lance, then quickly turn back to Tacoman
Hey, I can't explain it either...

Tacoman looks up and regards Lance with interest
So, you're Lance Pepperman, my dimentional counterpart... A pleasure to finally to meet you. I head a bit about you when your friend Victor appeared in my universe..
I am glad to be back among the living, and I agree that Milkshake would make an excellent captain, but I also want to get back home.
glaring at X And if you don't have anything more for us to do....
By the way, why did that Wraith attack me anyway? He said he was "the Wraith of Pure hatred," but why did he hate me? Is he related to the Wraith on the Phantom Returns board?

As the crowd leads Tacoman outside, a sonic boom causes everybody to look upwards. Much to everybody's suprise, a spider shaped spacecraft hovers above the yarn store
Adon, Frangelica, Superbob, look... the Spidership. Now we need a way to contact them...
Looking around, Tacoman uses materials at hand to spell "Spidership, beam us up" on the street. Tacoman and crew disappear in a transporter beam, and the Spidership disappears again

(Arises in Malice)

X your power dosen't work here either. I wraith Will slay you.

(Wraith gives fatal blow to X)

I can not be slain by the hands of man as is told in propecy by the Apple of Enlightenment.

(Wraith returns to the V board)