Yeah? Like what, Phil?
Since I publishing this myself, I did all the final editing and proofing and I certainly missed things!
Yeah? Like what, Phil?
Honestly, MarkN, you don't think that mistake wasn't intentional? ;)
Unfortunately, it was not intentional!! I was typing really fast yesterday trying to get this put up and I didn't re-read it before posting!
Ah well....;-)
At least we now know what happened to the "Scpipt Supervisor" dude from Season 1 TOS. He works for Xlibris!
Page 11:
The quote just below the date, first sentence:
Beginnings, like endings are imbalanced.
There should be a comma after endings.
(Yes, yes, I'm already starting to read it!)
The Dedication:
"We finally go this one out the door, ladies" I think should read, "We finally got this one out the door, ladies"
Do I win the award for finding the earliest nit in the book?
or maybe the award for not reading the about message for the topic? That one seems more appropriate...
Page 16:
End of the third paragraph:
...primadonna struggling to perform again after loosing an arm.
Should be losing.
I spel goode...don't I?
And yet another one!
Page 20:
End of the first paragraph:
They even kept the allies swept clean.
I bet their allies love that, huh? ;)
Or did you mean alleys?
MJ, re page 16: \i[prima donna} is two words, especially in that context.
Alas, I don't have a copy, so can only comment on other people's comments.
Argh: prima donna, not \i[prima donna}
Doh! I knew that, Scott. Thanks.
Page 49:
Second paragraph from bottom
Five minutes later, the crowd finally exceeded to their regent's wishes.
That should be acceded.
I just checked. B&N has it under the proper name (Farrand).
Not actually a typographical error, but I don't feel like creating a new thread.
One thing I had hammered into me about writing was not to jump from perspective to perspective within a scene because it's confusing. (My early stuff had a lot of it.) So it stood out when you suddenly shifted from Avery's thoughts to his teacher's thoughts.
For future writing you might want to consider keeping scenes to one character's perspective or making somekind of obvious break from one character's perspective to another. (Now maybe if Avery had been a telepath the shifting would have worked better.)
Page 34.
No one even bother to check his figures.
Bothered.
Page 38.
Shana says, "I don't want to you see me like this."
You to
Page 40.
Shana thinking, `This wouldn't have happen before They came!'
Happened.
Page 46.
Avery imagining what Judge Stone might say, "I thought Resistance initiates always wears a ski masker!"
Wore a ski mask.
I'll post more as I come across them.
My god, Phil! Fire your proofreader and hire me, and/or any one of us here who are finding all these errors! If this was my book I'd be terribly embarassed! Then again, I'd supposed this should also be expected with a new novel but this isn't your first time being published and I don't recall very many typos in your Trek Nitpicker's Guides that I have.
Oh, and don't forget to dedicate your next novel to, well, first me and then later to whomever else from NC you felt generous towards. ;)
What, you mean Phil didn't put these errors in on purpose? I thought this kind of a game which Nitpickers find the most? (And how else could Phil make sure everybody reads his book carefully instead of skimming over?)
This is as good a place as any. It really doesn't have anything to do with the novel, but the fact that Phil's name was misspelled on XLibris' site. I did a search on eBay for "Phil Ferrand" and this is what I found. I guess the Chief's publisher isn't the only one to make that error.
Is the seller related to the TOS season 1 end credits person?
The question is, should the Chief be insulted that the minimum bid is $3.00 and nobody's bid on it yet?
P.S. I'd buy it, but I already own a copy.
I just wonder what condition that book is in. It may not look as nice as that pic but who knows?
Greetings All!
Yeah...I knew there would be typos. I've read the thing too many times. I tried to weed out at least some of them but I was far too busy to do it right and after a while, you just go blind! ;-)
As far as changing perspectives go, I did try to follow that rule throughout the book but there were a few places that simply needed it. And, I'm not one to be too picky about rules, if it needs it! ;-)
And no...I'm not insulted by the price. That book is old and books get cheap after a time.
Phil
I did do a check on "Phil Farrand" on eBay. While nothing came up in terms of auctions, there were some things in various seller's stores ("Buy It Now" items). All four books were the X-Files book. The prices ranged from $3.49 to $19.95. Never was a fan of X-Files, so I have no desire to buy them. I do have all the Nitpickers Trek books, though. (I'll have to wait until after the first of the year to get a copy of The Son, the Wind and the Reign, though.)
Wonder what an autographed copy of one of Phil's books would fetch on eBay...?
This isn't really a typographical error, but this is something that's just...strange...about this.
On page 121, second indentation down:
Quote:"I know this is difficult for you," Gem offered. "To manage your estate so brilliantly only to stand by and watch it destroyed..." (Sensing his mood, speaking his thoughts, empathizing with his despair.)
And this promptly followed with
on page 122.
Quote:(He shut his attache.)
Machiko!
These are the things an editor helps with! ;-) There would probably be a little red pencil mark besides those parens and they might have been taken out in the final version....
Well, if you ever decide to put out a revised version of this story you now know some things that need to be changed. ;-)
Page 62.
That type of success lead the entire membership of the Western Missouri District of GAIUS to elected Silas to the position of Superintendent only two weeks ago.
Elect.
Some missing "TO"s here.
Page 90
It had felt so wonderful rip her stiletto free...
Wonderful TO rip
Page 95
They didn't need rip his body to shreds.
Need TO rip
Page 105
From everything Shana had said, he'd done plenty earn Stone's wrath.
Plenty TO earn
Keith!! You shouldn't be allowed to post any more typos here until you've corrected your own on Friday's Drunk Duck strip!! ;-)
Doh!
On the cover of the book itself, under the author name, is the phrase, "Fighting the Cause of Freedom."
I do believe that should be, "Fighting for the Cause of Freedom." Unless, of course, no one WANTS freedom. ;)
Callie - Keith!! You shouldn't be allowed to post any more typos here until you've corrected your own on Friday's Drunk Duck strip!!
That should read, 'You shouldn't be allowed to post any more typos here until you've corrected your own on Friday's The KAMics strip hosted on Drunk Duck!!' :-p ;-)
I tried correcting it before posting here, but the Duck is down. (Not an uncommon occurrence, I'm told, and yet cartoonists still prefer using Drunk Duck to Keenspace.)
BTW when it's up you can post comments over there, Callie. ;-)
Back to Phil's book...
Page 115
Gwenevere Esther Morgan heard Patrick Dunham's approach his office on the third floor...
Gee, another fictional Morgan who is not an honest & above board character.
As for the nit, hmmm... either 'heard Patrick Dunham approach his office' or 'heard Patrick Dunham's approach to his office' should work.
Their. Itz dun, Kallie.
Wall dunn, Kieth!
Ged ober id, Keeth. ;-)
Machiko!
Actually the cover is exactly what it's supposed to be. ;-)
Really?
I guess I'll just have to adapt!
Page 130
The prophecies of the Bible might be nothing more that alien dictation.
Than
Page 131
That image had hounded him all weak
Unless you were going for a pun, I think the word you wanted was "week", not weak.
Page 133
The three and one half year anniversary wasn't October fifth, it was September seventeen.
You should probably keep the dating style consistent within a sentence. Either October fifth & September seventeenth or October five & September seventeen.
Geez, I guess I won't have to read the book now, what with KAM spoiling everything for me! Or warning me of all the typos at least, to put a positive spin on it, I guess. heh
Well, if you haven't read the book yet why would you be reading about the typos???
I do list the page numbers so if you haven't got that far, don't read my posts.
Page 145
Too many times, he had returned to like some kind of feedback loop
I think you mean 'returned to it like'.
Page 149
Besides, refusing her was an even better way to atone for his idiocy the night, though Patrick wouldn't admit that to himself just yet.
Not sure what you wanted to say here. His 'idiocy of the night', 'during the night', 'the previous night'?
Maybe "during that night," KAM.
Maybe.
Page 159
Months past before he finally allowed himself to believe that he had done all he could - that Felicity hadn't told him about her foot because she didn't want him wasting time with here when Shana was life in danger.
Passed not past.
Her not here.
Hmmm, possibly when Shana's life was in danger or when Shana was in danger.
Pages 203 & 204
A giant stairway - again, seemingly carved from a stone - lead up to the main entrance...
I believe that should be "led" not lead.
Page 215
He couldn't it flex at all.
Flex it
Had the Wind had thought of everything?
Cut the second "had".
Page 218
Even each feather in the angels' wings held it own little world.
Its
Page 220
Avery spotted glass-like globe next to Stone's workstation.
Spotted a glass-like globe.
Of course, since the globe is dark & can't be illuminated perhaps "an obsidian globe" might have been a better description. Obsidian is volcanic glass & it's usually black.
Page 225
Pious and GAIUS members will ply you with a flood of questions and capitalized most of your time.
Capitalize
Page 290
Letting the faintest smirk play across her lips as Avery thoughts would stumble and then recover.
Avery's
Page 302
What so terrible about one lousy welcoming report?
What's
Page 305
Grissom verses Lindell
Versus
Page 318
Life really did have had meaning
Cut Had.
Page 330
She too perky!
Interesting way of phrasing it, but She's would sound better.
Pages 349 & 350
You use the term 12:00 AM.
I remember years ago on the Tonight Show they had a guy who had contested a traffic ticket & the ruling was that there is no 12:00 AM or PM since it's the dividing line between the two & should be called either 12:00 Noon & 12:00 Midnight.
Page 352
Joy had led him her for a reason
Here
Page 353
Every where they turned
I believe Everywhere should be one word.
Page 354
The titan's other hand shot out diagonally to the opposite corner the block.
Of the block
By the time he touched the rooftop, Stone as trembling
Was
Page 357
He didn't look little like a defender
Ummm, cut Little?
The aliens had killed couple days ago
A couple days ago or A couple of days ago
Page 366
Uncertain it they could rescue
If
Page 384
He had assure himself
Assured
Page 385
The response from the crowd and been deafening
Had
Page 396
Stone decision would be final
Stone's
Page 403
Gem took an eyeful as the Harold Thompson left
Probably cut The
Now she was leaving him to flop on the peer
Pier
Page 408
He performed the same feat at the refuge transfer stations on West Bennett - manufacturing parks from garbage.
Hmmm, not living in Springfield I don't know if that is correct or not, but I would guess it should read Refuse rather than Refuge.
Stone knew of famed inability of Americans to read directions
Of the famed inability
Page 409
Any person can use their card to send or receive money from any other person in the earth
On
NANJAO. That sounds an awful lot like PayPal. And given that PayPal has started acting like the Morality Police deciding what is acceptable for people to spend their own money on, PayPal sounds a bit like the Wind.
more than once in the passed two weeks
Past
Page 421
No one important as far as I'm concern
Concerned
Page 432
Patrick Dunham wandered down an access street behind the home that belong to Daniel and Elizabeth Michaelson home.
Cut the second home
Page 448
the coming meeting would less than pleasant
Be less than pleasant
suddenly had no where to roost
Nowhere
Page 450
I don't care what noble cause you think you've ascribe to
Ascribed
Page 455
His recent rendezvous with Princess Babydoll must have something to do it
Do with it
Page 457
He had lost confidence in his ability navigate between
Ability to navigate
Pages 463 & 464
If you'd stopping thinking with your crotch for a moment
Stop
Page 465
does something on you own
Your
Page 468
I don't have any problem imaging how much your supervisor wants to talk with me!
On the one hand I think you meant Imagining, but on the other hand Imaging could be a future slang term.
Pages 349 & 350
You use the term 12:00 AM.
I remember years ago on the Tonight Show they had a guy who had contested a traffic ticket & the ruling was that there is no 12:00 AM or PM since it's the dividing line between the two & should be called either 12:00 Noon & 12:00 Midnight.
KAM, I think that's a nit not a typographical error. See my December 05, 2004 - 02:00 pm post here
Page 478
knowing a person should cuss and swear.
Given the context I think you meant Shouldn't.
Page 479
Afraid to herself repeat the words.
Probably should be "Afraid herself to repeat the words."
Page 496
the young man cry out
Cried
Page 498
You just had to make me pay for trying to protecting Elizabeth.
Protect
Page 503
A Wind machine take energy from the core
Takes
It's more incomprehensible that you think
Than
Page 508
He wanted to watched Eve taste the fruit.
Watch
Page 519
prerequisites for the advanced math courses that would eventually lead to yet other course
Courses
Page 521
holding up Elizabeth badge
Elizabeth's
around this gantlet
Gauntlet
A young man had leap from some trees
Leapt, although pounced would have sounded better.
Page 535
You're job
Your
Page 541
then split off it yet other directions
In
Page 543
Nick would to return to the warehouse
Cut "to" in front of Return.
Page 544
he gave on long inward breath
I believe you meant One.
shem-jha'aqyts had awaken
Awakened
Page 547
he grabbed her throat when reached her
When HE reached her
Page 548
The door across the hall opened and Louise Wu's stepped into the hall
Wu
GOLLY!
Maybe this book should be called:
"The Son, the Wind, the Reign and the Spelling and Gramattical Errors!"
This one occurs several times. One of the characters is named Josh Feinstien. Shouldn't this be Feinstein?
Page 556
advancing a few paces on Elizabeth position.
Elizabeth's
Page 557
she had encouraged him to meet her and the top of the next hill
I think you meant AT, although giving the flirty nature of GEM's relationship with Judge Stone it's possible for the sentence to work as is for a sexual entendre.
Page 558
over the past to decades
Two
Page 73
Beasts who had awaken to the stench...
awakened
Page 261
I just haven't clean up yet
cleaned
Page 287
Shana had given herself the task of tuning Avery back...
turning
Page 325
Love portions?
potions
Page 386
aging Lhasa Opso
Apso
Page 581
confused worried
Should have a comma between them.
I haven't decided if I'm going to get this book, so I'm reading the PDF sample and I found this mistake.
Page 15
But whether the Pious realized it or not, Avery had no doubt the Wind gave the Pious something beyond mere surface comforts, it gave the Pious the moral high ground from which to condescend and justified every atrocity they saw.
Should that be justify?
I think that "justified" is the correct tense in this case. Although it's hard to tell. I'd like to see that sentence better grammatically constructed. Here's how I'd rewrite that passage:
"Avery had no doubt the Wind gave the Pious something beyond mere surface comforts; whether they realized it or not, it gave them the condescending moral high ground to justify every attrocity they saw."
The two major changes I made here are moving the opening prep phrase "Whether the pious realized it or not," to a more appropriate place in the sentence. Coming as it does just before the words "Avery had no doubt" it makes it sound like Avery's lack of doubt is what the Pious may or may not have realized, which I don't think is what Phil intended with the sentence.
The second thing I did was to move the verb "to condescend" in front of the subject "the Pious" and change it to the adjective "condescending" while changing "justified" at the end of the sentence to "justify" to replace it. This removes the confusion at the end of the sentence.
I agree, it's confusing. But I believe Todd is right. I believe the correct parse is:
I guess my trouble is with the word "condescend" as it is used in the original sentence all by itself. One can "condescend to" do something, or one can be "condescending." But I don't know that the word "condescend" can be used by itself as a verb as it is used there. But maybe I'm wrong.
Page 578
Elizabeth had had asked why
Cut one Had
Page 587
Then he pardons me to confused the living daylights out of me.
Confuse
Page 623
Dizziness had assaulted as she launched a diatribe against the him
The him?
And that's it for anymore typo nits from me. Goodnight everyone. Drive safely.
A few I found (and recorded)...
Page 465
"If you haven't heard anything else I've said all evening, here this:"
Should be "hear".
Page 466
How was he suppose to know she could deduce what happened?
Should be "supposed".
Page 516
There advantages to having doctors in the Resistance.
There are advantages.
Page 533
Shana like her nose just the way it is.
Liked. Unless that's a clue into Shana's thought process. 
Page 546
The four one splintered his left humerus.
Fourth
Page 558
"She already dead, Gwenevere."
"She's". I would think that the Judges don't ever misspeak. Maybe not, though.
Page 574
Teresa. Gray has an unnecessary period after her first name.
Page 586
Marcia is spelled "Marsha".
Page 587
Now I'll telling you what I want you to do.
Shoud be "I'm", though to be fair, Avery seems a bit hysterical at this point.
Page 602
"That's not I said."
I assume Avery meant to say "That's not what I said". So many stressful moments must mess with the speech.
Page 619
"I can a lot to learn from her."
I think he meant to say "I have a lot to learn from her." That or "I can learn a lot from her." Poor guy just can't get it right.
"Vanity, we're finish."
I hope he meant "we're finished". Fortunately, Vanity can figure out what the guy means to say.