Bjorn asks Data, "Where were you manufactured?" and "Are there others like you?" and Data answers, "Both are matters of protracted discussion." While Data's answer is a nice way to avoid talking about oneself, is it really a 'protracted discussion' to say, "Omicron Theta and yes." Even if Data believed Lore had been destroyed he could have said, "There was one other." While I can see where Data could get very long winded about both questions his answer is a polite lie.

Why does Geordi think that only a master programmer could reprogram the laser drill to kill? First just programming it to target and fire on any moving thing in the room seems simple. Second, is programming it to 'hunt' and anticipate movement, but it is a small room and each time the drill fires there is a limited number of directions the 'hunted' can take. The only possible problems are does it have a sensor to detect movement because if it doesn't then no programming will get it to work, and how fast can it swivel and move. While it might be difficult to program these things in, it would probably be easier than a common 20th century chess program since there are less variables.

Geordi dismisses the idea that the crystal is alive because it is inorganic. Did Geordi just forget that his best friend Data, whom he is talking to, is also inorganic?

If they needed a test for inorganic life, why not access records of the Horta or the Excalibans? Did the Classic Trek episodes take place in a parallel universe? If nothing else why not check the scans they did of the Crystalline Entity?

The computer says it doesn't know what is causing the flashes of light, but later when Data, Geordi and Worf are examining the chemical makeup of the 'microbrain' a chemical is mentioned and one of them says, "Emits light when charged." Why didn't the Sick Bay computer detect the same chemical? Also what evidence does the computer use to determine that the flashes can only be evidence of life? If the computer studied the patterns of an Irregular Variable star, would it come to the same conclusion?

Some of the Terraformers discovered geometric patterns in the sand, but they didn't think it was a form of communication???

Bjorn asks Data, "Where were you manufactured?" and "Are there others like you?" and Data answers, "Both are matters of protracted discussion." While Data's answer is a nice way to avoid talking about oneself, is it really a 'protracted discussion' to say, "Omicron Theta and yes." Even if Data believed Lore had been destroyed he could have said, "There was one other." While I can see where Data could get very long winded about both questions his answer is a polite lie.

Why does Geordi think that only a master programmer could reprogram the laser drill to kill? First just programming it to target and fire on any moving thing in the room seems simple. Second, is programming it to 'hunt' and anticipate movement, but it is a small room and each time the drill fires there is a limited number of directions the 'hunted' can take. The only possible problems are does it have a sensor to detect movement because if it doesn't then no programming will get it to work, and how fast can it swivel and move. While it might be difficult to program these things in, it would probably be easier than a common 20th century chess program since there are less variables.

Geordi dismisses the idea that the crystal is alive because it is inorganic. Did Geordi just forget that his best friend Data, whom he is talking to, is also inorganic?

If they needed a test for inorganic life, why not access records of the Horta or the Excalibans? Did the Classic Trek episodes take place in a parallel universe? If nothing else why not check the scans they did of the Crystalline Entity?

The computer says it doesn't know what is causing the flashes of light, but later when Data, Geordi and Worf are examining the chemical makeup of the 'microbrain' a chemical is mentioned and one of them says, "Emits light when charged." Why didn't the Sick Bay computer detect the same chemical? Also what evidence does the computer use to determine that the flashes can only be evidence of life? If the computer studied the patterns of an Irregular Variable star, would it come to the same conclusion?

Some of the Terraformers discovered geometric patterns in the sand, but they didn't think it was a form of communication???

The guy playing Mandl was General Gogol in many James Bond films.

Inorganic means that a material doesn't have any carbon in its make-up. Do we know that Data has no carbon inside him?

Ah- a Star Trek crossover appearance by Blofeld!
Blofeld Appreciation Society Members rejoice!
(Alright, I know it's not really Blofeld. But you have to admit...)

Ahh, Mr. Picard. You shall not thwart my plans for world domination.

OK, it was funny the first few times, but now this Blofeld App. stuff just seems out of place. Why not put it on the Phantom Returns board? (I'm not criticizing the statements, just where they are.)

Agreed. But you MUST admit, Blofeld was bald and two characters in this show are bald...

The entity calls Picard and his human crew, "Mostly bags of water." (or was that bags of mostly water?) Since when did I crystaline lifeform ever use, or even know what 'a bag' is? It should have called humans 'collection of water molecules' or 'other things'.

When Data is trapped in the room and the lasers are going wild, Picard screams to his away team "Get him out of there!"
Why doesn't he say "Transporter room, emergency transport from the planet, Data, NOW!!" ??

PICARD: We shall now return you to your wet sand...
Oh, look, I can't do this - I just can't!

DIRECTOR: Cut. Patrick, why don't you just read the line?

PICARD: Because it's ridiculous! I've never seen the Original Trek series but I doubt even Bill Shatner had anything this •••••• to say!

Will, the line is 'Ugly bags of mostly water'.

Maybe (in the interests of salvaging one of the cuter moments of a dreary ep) the life form took note of how it was contained in in the lab, extrapolated to humans, and the UT bobbled it into 'bags'?

When Data is attacked by the drill, Geordi yells at him to explain what's happening, and Data says something like, "Too much to explain!"

How about, "I an being shot at by the laser drill!"

This episode reminds me of the TOS episode "Devil in the Dark". (Without the nodules)

Yeah, only not original, compelling, and ultimately charming.

I hope the crew was only humoring that rock because as a human being I would be incredibly insulted by the rock's conclusion that we're 'primitive', and are only worthy of another visit in 300 years! Once it was off the ship I would have told it what it could do to itself.
The Enterprise was built by several alien species from several worlds, it travels across the galaxy visiting other worlds, and its computers contain the sum knowledge of dozens of worlds.
That rock sits underground in salt water.
Which of these is the true primitive?
The whole story had a 1970's TOS fanzine feel to it.

Thats why the episode stank! And couldn't we get some better guest actors for it too?

Just because something is alive doesn't mean there isn't still a chemical explanation for it. Life isn't magical. It doesn't do things which are chemically impossible.

We were just watching this recently and my wife suddenly jumped up and started talking back to Data. Being a medical-school professor, she told the (hastily-paused) image on the screen in no uncertain terms that the human body isn't Data's "over 90% water," but more in the neighborhood of 65%. I mean, for Data, that's a wackily large margin of error. It'd be a pretty bad margin even for _me_, for that matter.

Okay, how about this: maybe in an effort to blend in with his shipmates and be less irritatingly precise, he just happened to be adjusting his output parameters at that moment and had a brief period of wild innacuracy... Hey, that could be why he kept having to hit those same buttons on his console three or four times in this episode... ;)

The human body isn't Data's "over 90% water," but more in the neighborhood of 65%.

Dr. McCoy made the same error while examining the "freeze-dried" remains of the Exeter crew in "The Omega Glory."

NANJAN: If the Microbrain entity met Captain Janeway, It'd say, "Ugly bag of mostly coffee"

Neelix: "Ugly bag of mostly hair."
Chakotay: "Ugly bag of mostly tattoo."
Tom Paris: "Ugly bag of mostly unfunny jokes."
Harry Kim: "Ugly bag of mostly not getting promoted."
Picard: "Bag that's too shiny on top for me to just how ugly it is."
Troi: "Ugly bag of mostly obvious statements. But that okay. Me like ugly obvious. So hands off. This ugly bag mine."
Sisko: "Ugly bag that started war. Looks mostly like Picard bag, but darker."
Bashir: "Genetically engineered bag of mostly water. And it still ugly."
B'Elanna Torres: "Ugly bag of mostly bi+ch."
Malcolm Reed: "Ugly bag of mostly gay rumors."
Travis: "Ugly bag of mostly no lines."
T'Pol: "Ugly bag of mostly ice."
Kirk: "Ugly hornbag of mostly water."

Naw...Kirk would be: "Ugly bag of mostly testosterone"

John, you forgot one, so I'll say it for you:

[As John A. Lang]:
Troi : Beautiful bag of mostly water.

The opinions in the previous post are [most likely] John A. Lang's, and not necessarily ScottN's.

"Tom Paris: "Ugly bag of mostly unfunny jokes."
Harry Kim: "Ugly bag of mostly not getting promoted." "-Luigi Novi

Shoot, almost had me crackingup out loud at work again... :-)

The Doctor: "Ugly forcefield of Photons that sings."

Tuvok: "Ugly bag of pointless speculation."

7 of 9: "Twin bags of mostly implants."

Q: "You call this an ugly bag of ultimate power? I'll show you power..."

Acting ensign crusher: "Ugly bags of bad acting by the guest cast".

One line of dialogue that I thought was funny is when the not-too-intelligent-looking Bjorn says to Data in disbelief "What did you do to this laser drill?!"

Uhh, Mr. Terraformer Sir, don't you have eyes? Isn't it obvious what Data just did to the drill? He destroyed it when it tried to cut him up for spare parts, and now it's a smoldering wreckage! So, doesn't that seem like Bjorn should maybe take a new job as junior counseler aboard the Enterprise, as all they seem to do anyway is state to totally obvious in every situation?

As for the "we shall now return you to your wet sand" business, I also got a kick out of the foolishness of hearing a talking crystal say to the crew "Cause much death. Make us kill. War is now with you." I found that quite humorous as well!

Too bad about Malencon, though. And Louisa *Kim* was kinda OK and all-right looking. Is she, ahem, Harry's aunt or grandmother or something?

To say about someone's death "Too bad about *blank*" reminds me of juinor executive Kenney's violent death in "Robocop". Johnson says "Too bad about Kenney, huh?" and Morton callously scoffs "Hey, that's life in the big city."

I hope that no one ever reacts that way when I die!

KAM, back in 1999:

"Did the Classic Trek episodes take place in a parallel universe?"

According to J.J. Abrams, YES!!!!

Come to think of it, I'd love to track down the writer(s) of this crappy episode and make fun of them with those aforementioned stupid lines (you know, "we shall return you now to your wet sand". Ha!)

I'll betcha anything that the cast was saying "cause much death make us kill war is now with you" back and forth to each other in funny voices while they were filming this episode, and having a lot of fun doing so!

And I would have loved to have been there to see it!