For the past year or so my partner's and I have been creating Star Trek comic books based on the designs of the animated series. I thought I would get the opinions of my fellow nitpickers.

The main page for the comics is....

http://startrekanimated.com/tas_comic_main.html

The newest comic, and our most ambitious, "To Dance With The Devil", has just been released. You can find it here.....

http://startrekanimated.com/tas_comic04_main.html

Please let me know what you think, and if you'd like to see more.

This was created as a hobby. Star Trek, and Star Trek the animated series are owned by Paramount and Filmation studios.

First of all, a couple of nits, Kail. Shouldn't the shuttle that Kang and Kirk ride in be Galileo II? IIRC, the original Galileo was destroyed in the TOS ep, "The Galileo Seven".

Why is Kang wearing Scotty's environmental uniform? Doesn't the Enterprise have any generic uniforms? And didn't the Animated TREK ep, "The Slaver Weapon" established that the suits had been replaced by the environmental belts?

I wish you had the pages numbered. It makes it hard to identify on which page what happens. Anyway, on the page where the Gr'anok wipes out the Enterprise's shields, we see Scotty. His insignia has the "science eye" rather than the engineering spiral. Of course, this was a common error in TAS.

That device that Kirk has to remove Mara's powers, where is he carrying it? When Mara uses her powers to knock Kirk aside, the Captain's hands are empty and there doesn't appear to be any place for Kirk to be carrying it.

Why did the Gr'anok's self-destruct re-engage after Mara was stripped of her powers? Surely she completely disabled it when she assumed control of the ship?

Given that the Enterprise was docked at Space Station K-11 for repairs, the ship sure does function better than one might think. Minor repairs? And why did the Enterprise go to a station so far away? I mean, surely there was something closer to it than a station at the edge of the galaxy?

Beyond that... I love the visuals in this one, Kail. It's even better than the others. (There were two others, weren't there?) You had some very interesting and unique angles and shots in the story. I was really impressed with them.

I loved that we finally got to see the bowling alley mentioned in "The Naked Time". That was cool. And seeing McCoy in a bowling outfit... LOL.

I liked the story overall. It was a good, tight narrative in keeping with the spirit of both the Original Series and the Animated Series. Moreover, I think it has a depth the Animateds rarely attained.

Overall, I really enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing it. I hope you guys will create more comics in the future!

"Shouldn't the shuttle that Kang and Kirk ride in be Galileo II? IIRC, the original Galileo was destroyed in the TOS ep, "The Galileo Seven"."

Well, that's true, but the Galileo made MANY appearances on TOS after "The Galileo Seven".

"Why is Kang wearing Scotty's environmental uniform? Doesn't the Enterprise have any generic uniforms? And didn't the Animated TREK ep, "The Slaver Weapon" established that the suits had been replaced by the environmental belts?"

There was a couple jokes about Scotty's suit being to small for Kang, but they got cut. I never liked the environmental belts of TAS. It was really just a cost cutting thing, and I like the look of the suits. (/:-)

"Anyway, on the page where the Gr'anok wipes out the Enterprise's shields, we see Scotty. His insignia has the "science eye" rather than the engineering spiral. Of course, this was a common error in TAS."

Oops! Your right, I don't know how I did that, I'll fix it.

"That device that Kirk has to remove Mara's powers, where is he carrying it? When Mara uses her powers to knock Kirk aside, the Captain's hands are empty and there doesn't appear to be any place for Kirk to be carrying it."

When Kirk gets to the bridge, you'll notice, one of his hands are always out of shot. Or, if you don't like that answer, he's got it velcroed on the back of his belt. Take your pick! (/:-)

"Why did the Gr'anok's self-destruct re-engage after Mara was stripped of her powers? Surely she completely disabled it when she assumed control of the ship?"

Nope, she was supressing it with her mind powers! Actually, I was trying to have a big finish, build some tension.

"Given that the Enterprise was docked at Space Station K-11 for repairs, the ship sure does function better than one might think. Minor repairs? And why did the Enterprise go to a station so far away? I mean, surely there was something closer to it than a station at the edge of the galaxy?"

Yes, minor repairs. Can't keep a good ship down! This is not the Enterprise-A, which always seemed to be falling apart. Nope, there was nothing closer.

Thanks, for your comments Benn, I appreciate it, and am very glad you enjoyed the comic!!!

"Shouldn't the shuttle that Kang and Kirk ride in be Galileo II? IIRC, the original Galileo was destroyed in the TOS ep, "The Galileo Seven"."

Well, that's true, but the Galileo made MANY appearances on TOS after "The Galileo Seven".

But it appeared as Galileo II, IIRC.

"There was a couple jokes about Scotty's suit being to small for Kang, but they got cut. I never liked the environmental belts of TAS. It was really just a cost cutting thing, and I like the look of the suits. (/:-)"

Oh yeah, I liked the environmental suits as seen in "The Tholian Web", too. I'm just being a bit of a "continuity pornographer" here. In addition to "The Slaver Weapon", it seems like the belts made an appearance in "The Practical Joker", too. I'm not sure. It's been too many years since I've seen all of the Animated eps. Which is a shame. I'd love for those eps to be put on DVD.

"Nope, she was supressing it with her mind powers! Actually, I was trying to have a big finish, build some tension."

I suspected as much. But still, it's something that occured to me while I was reading the comic.

"Thanks, for your comments Benn, I appreciate it, and am very glad you enjoyed the comic!!!"

You're welcome, Kail! I hope to see more of them in the future.

Hi Kail, I enjoyed reading that last night. Very well done! You recreated the feel of the animated series wonderfully.

A couple of observations:
On page 10(?) there is a reference to 'the inflicted'. Did you mean 'the afflicted'?

Were those phasers the Enterprise used to force the Gr'anok out of warp? Admittedly I wasn't clear on this point until I read the TNG technical manual, but photon torpedoes should be used at warp, because phasers are sublight only. (Torpedoes have warp sustainer fields to keep them in subspace.)

The "Galileo II" can be seen in "The Way to Eden."

Thanks Sophie! Glad you liked it! You know, I think your right. I don't think we should have had the Enterprise using phasers while at warp. I'll keep that in mind for the next time.


Well, perhaps the shuttle SHOULD have been the Galileo II. Again, if we use it in the future, I'll make sure we fix that.

Thanks all!

Good episodes...even though there was no holo-technology in Kirk's era that we know about.

I liked Spock at the bowling alley. I was kind of expecting him to give McCoy a mathematical computation to ensure a "strike" every time a bowling ball was thrown.

"Good episodes...even though there was no holo-technology in Kirk's era that we know about." - John A. Lang

Sure there was. It was introduced in the Animated ep, "The Practical Joker". McCoy, Uhura and, I believe, Sulu were trapped in it. It was the first time a holo-deck of any sort had debuted in the TREK Universe.

I missed that episode. Sorry.

Great comic. Excellent story, script, art, layouts.

A couple of nits, though: on page 23, 'hangar' is misspelled as 'hanger.'

On page 24, Uhura has the 'eye' in her insignia instead of the spiral.

And on page 26, McCoy, in the upper left corner, is blurry.

"Great comic. Excellent story, script, art, layouts."

Thanks!

"A couple of nits, though: on page 23, 'hangar' is misspelled as 'hanger."

Your right. I'll fix that, thanks!

"On page 24, Uhura has the 'eye' in her insignia instead of the spiral."

Your right again! But, you know what? I've gone through my files, and every TAS capture I have of Uhura has that same mistake. So I'm gonna keep this one just as it is, to make the comic that much more authentic. (/:-)

"And on page 26, McCoy, in the upper left corner, is blurry."

That was my attempt to show the ship being rocked by a disrutor blast. You know, like a camera shake.

"On page 24, Uhura has the 'eye' in her insignia instead of the spiral." - Nove Rockhoomer

"Your right again! But, you know what? I've gone through my files, and every TAS capture I have of Uhura has that same mistake. So I'm gonna keep this one just as it is, to make the comic that much more authentic. (/:-)" - Kail

Throughout the entire Animated Series, the lack of spirals in the Engineering insignias was a common nit. But I would still call it a nit.

The Galileo was indeed destroyed in "Galileo Seven," but it was back for "Metamorphosis." It wasn't named "Galileo II" until "Way To Eden."

Thanks Adam, I had thought I'd seen it return after it was destroyed!! (/:-)

Pretty cool, Kail! (By the way, I love all the beauty shots of the various ships & station, giving us views/angles we've never seen before.)
Looking forward to the next one!

Thanks CR! Glad you liked it. I too LOVE the shots of the ships and station by Raul. His CG work really bumped up the quality of the comics artwork. Can't wait to see what he does with the next one, which will feature the breakdown of the Klingon/Romulan alliance with a massive space battle between the two. "It will be glorious!" (/:-)

OOO! Can't wait!

By the way (bear with me, there's a point that ties in with the latest comic), I build models of various things, but Star Trek kits were some of my earliest... one of my many current projects is the refurbishing of my old K-7 Space Station kit. Seeing a modified K-class station in the comic inspired me to make a similar modification that I can add or remove, depending upon what I'm in the mood to look at.
I used to think the small snap-together Enterprise kit (came with the Klingon and Romulan ships) was close to scale for the K-7, since I had no detailed on-screen reference, and it looks like the TAS comic followed the same idea. However, I've seen references--including Okazaki's Starfleet Museum--that put the Enterprise at about the same length as the station's diameter. I guess that could be a nit, then, but I for one am not complaining. It's also nice to see some of the old Tech Manual ships (the transport, in this case) outside of the Tech Manual.

Regarding McCoy's bowling shirt... couldn't the comic have used a colored version of the uniform tunic he wore in parts of ST: TMP? Oh, I know, no pockets! (Yeah, yeah, I know it's a few too many years before the tunic appeared, but it always reminded me of a bowling shirt, so I couldn't resist.)

Personally, I feel the station would be much bigger then the Enterprise.

I'm going to try and work in a few other TOS era ships into the next comic too. (/:-)

I'd like to see a Kirk - Rand story.

Yeah..I know Rand wasn't in TAS...but hey....that's what makes it FUN!

Interesting John. Any suggestions for a plot?

Possibly Rand asking Kirk out for a date several times in a day. (Including a holodeck bedroom setting with Rand wearing lingerie) After Kirk's refusal in the Holodeck, Rand asks Kirk straight out why he won't notice her & why he doesn't love her. Then Kirk reveals to her about his mistake with Carol Marcus (getting her pregnant and all) This devistates Rand ("I loved you! I wanted to have your baby!") and she leaves the Enterprise.

Uhm, John, that's not a plot. That's your fantasy. I suppose the story ends with Rand spending the next few years with you, right?

Not to get picky or anything (), but according to The Making of Star Trek, the original series was not supposed to have "unrealistic" emotional scenarios. Yeah, like they never violated that mandate. Anyway, the example in that book of what wouldn't happen was Kirk hugging Rand (or some other pretty female yeoman) and confessing his lusty feelings for her just before (seemingly) impending doom strikes the Enterprise. Or something like that.

Kail, speaking of Raul's CG artwork on your comic, it really captures the feel of cel animation, only with better backgrounds and sfx. (Photoshop, I presume?) It's obviously cleaner, crisper than the actual cels from TAS; it's how I imagine TAS would be animated if done today.

Okay, I'm a heathen apparently. I only vaguely recalled hearing the name Kzinti before reading "Tigers of Heaven". The name sounded really familiar and I expected there to be some sort of a tie in with the animated series, so I googled it, and there was some really descriptive Star Trek stuff that gelled perfectly with your excellent comic, But I scrolled down a little bit, and found that there's a whole mess of volumes on the Man-Kzin Wars, set in some sort of Larry Niven universe. So could somebody please enlighten this illiterate slob? What's going on here? Where did they originate? Why did they get tied in with the non-canonical Star Trek mythos? Thanks in advance.

The Kzinti were created by Larry Niven and appeared in many of his 'Known Space' stories.

Niven donated one such story to the Animated Series, replacing the 'Known Space' characters with Enterprise crew. See TAS series 1: 'Slaver Weapon'.

Benn---Yeah!

Seriously now....I know my story didn't have much plot to it, but it makes good story telling anyway. I mean...STTNG episode "Family" didn't have intergalactic confrontations or anything like that, it was just a plain good old fashioned story about the personal lives of some of the STTNG crew.

That's my "idea" behind my Kirk - Rand story.

In other words, you're looking for a "character study", huh, John?

Right on the money, Benn!

I don't think it's her character that he want's to study, Benn

"Why, what on earth do you mean, Scott?" he asked with faux naivete.

"I'll have Yeoman Rand", Tom said Gracefully!

While I have nothing against character study on television, it's one reason I like DS9 so much, I feel the comics should be more action based. However, I think having Rand show up in a cameo would be fun. Like Checkov in my "Nature to Eternity" comic. Or, she could "guest star", if I could find the right story.

"Kail, speaking of Raul's CG artwork on your comic, it really captures the feel of cel animation, only with better backgrounds and sfx. (Photoshop, I presume?) It's obviously cleaner, crisper than the actual cels from TAS; it's how I imagine TAS would be animated if done today."

I LOVE Rauls work, but I'm not sure what programs he uses. I do know it's a standard 3d model that he "cartoonizes". I have two galleries on my website of his work. One is here...

http://startrekanimated.com/tas_art.html

The other is here...

http://startrekanimated.com/tas_april02.html

Wouldn't it be GREAT to see a new animated series done with todays technology?


And, speaking of the Kzinti, I have heard that this is one reason TAS is not concidered canon. What a shame.

I'd been to the first page, Kail, but not the second. Nice shots of the transport! (Actually, all the pics are nice, but I like the transport, since it was one of the first decent conversions I made from an Enterprise kit.)

As for the Kzin issue, why not just declare the one episode non-canon, so we could at least have the rest of the series? Or else pay for the licensing rights. I can't believe Paramount couldn't afford to do that. (I know, it's not quite that easy... lest this become a topic for a Legal Musings board, I'll just leave it alone, other than to hope that someday the situation can be rectified in a positive way.)
On the other hand, it is just a tv show, so take what you want out of it, regardless of what "the powers that be" say. If you enjoy it, then that's the most important thing.

Re: character development... Some character development is a good thing in comics, but too much can lead to wordy, non-action issues, sort of like a Next Gen episode. (ducks phaser fire from Next Gen fans, raises shields and warps away...)
Seriously, too many panels of people talking, no matter how well written, can be a bad thing for comics; you might as well eschew the artwork and write a short story or novel. One might get away with it to some degree in a comic if the comic is a continuing series, but the episodic nature of TAS and the TAS online comic doesn't really allow for that.

A lot of things have to be considered for what looks like a "simple" comic book. It's no wonder issues aren't cranked out more frequently! (Better to have a quality comic that takes a little longer, IMO.)

"Seriously, too many panels of people talking, no matter how well written, can be a bad thing for comics;" - CR

I strongly disagree, Craig. I can think of several comics that are basically "talking heads" stories that I've thoroughly enjoyed. Harvey Pekar's American Splendor is one such title. The Sandman, written by Neil Gaiman, was another series that could often be nothing more than talking heads and little-to-no action. Cerebus by Dave Sim is yet another that has gone several issues where all that happens is people talk - and yet one's interest is held. It depends on the subject matter and how that subject matter is approached. Comics where people spend an entire issue talking can and has been done many times. And done exceedingly well.

I didn't say that I wouldn't like such a comic, Benn, but I didn't make that clear. I did say "too many panels of people talking... can be a bad thing..." on purpose, though, so as to imply that too many panels of people talking isn't necessarily a bad thing, just that it could be (say, if poorly written).
I was also supposing that in order to reach a wider audience, one might want to avoid "talk heavy" comics. On the other hand, how silly of me to assume any comic would need to be "dumbed down" to the lowest common denominator, whatever that is! I've never thought comics were "just for kids" (in spite of some people's opinion in the continuing drama in Texas), and I also find it insulting to kids that some adults think that so-called "kid's comics" can't be intelligently written. Besides, Star Trek audiences expect something a little more cerebral (and thus potentially wordy) than average action-oriented comics.
Anyway, I hope that clarifies things a bit for everyone who may have been confused by my August 10 post.

I just wrote "...Star Trek audiences expect something a little more cerebral (and thus potentially wordy) than average action-oriented comics."
I should have said "stories" instead of "comics" in that sentence. I was still in 'comics' mode, since that's what we're discussing and that's what this board is about.

Oh, I still wonder how the episodic nature of TAS would allow for wordy, character-intensive comics. To be sure, I'd be interested in the outcome, but it sounds like Kail's going for a little more action than that in the online comic, to better capture the feel of the tv series.