For some reason, reading reviews of bad movies makes me laugh. Even if I haven't seen the movie, reading what people write about unwatchable dreck cracks me up. At the Internet Movie Database you can leave your own reviews of movies and give it a rating on a 1-10 scale. The rating number you see on a movie's page is the average of all the user ratings. And based on that there's always a list, the Bottom 100, of the movies with the lowest ratings. So here's what it looks like now, 2 April 2003. I put them in reverse order, starting with 100, and added quick comments on them.

I've discovered 2 rules. Rule 1: if a movie is based on a video game it will stink. Rule 2: If a movie has pop singers or rappers in it, it will stink.

If a title is in boldface that means I've seen it. If you see (M) that means it's been on Mystery Science Theater 3000. The number before the title is the user rating.

Here we go! The IMDb Bottom 100:
100. 3.0 Ator l'invincibile 2 (1984) (M) a.k.a. "The Cave Dwellers." How much Keefe? Miles O'Keefe.
99. 3.0 Street Fighter (1994) See rule 1
98. 3.0 Bleeders (1997) Obscure monster movie
97. 3.0 Nuevos extraterrestres, Los (1983) (M) Import from Spain we remember as "Pod People." What did you think? It stinks!
96. 3.0 The Bad News Bears Go to Japan(1978) The 3rd "Bad News Bears" flick
95. 3.0 Cop and ½ (1993) I watched this once when I was 11 or 12. Afterwards I said it was "totally dumb."
94. 3.0 Uomo puma, L' (1980) (M)
93. 3.0 Big Momma's House 2 (2006)
92. 3.0 The Mangler (1995) Flop based on a Stephen King story
91. 3.0 Girl in Gold Boots (1969) (M) I laugh just thinking about this
90. 2.9 The Killer Shrews (1959) (M)
89. 2.9 Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997) Rule #1 again
88. 2.9 Crossroads (2002) Britney Spears is in it, rule #2
87. 2.9 The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? (1964) (M)
86. 2.9 Madea's Family Reunion (2006)
85. 2.9 The Wild World of Batwoman (1966) Has absolutely nothing to do with anything related to Batman
84. 2.9 Mac and Me (1988) Lame kid flick about a boy and his alien friend
83. 2.9 The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961) (M)
82. 2.9 Mitchell (1975) (M) Starring Joe Don Baker
81. 2.9 The Barbaric Beast of Boggy Creek, Part II (1985) (M) Can I borrow a cup of shirt?
80. 2.9 Spice World (1997) See rule #2
79. 2.9 The Gospel (2005) About an R&B singer and his preacher father
78. 2.9 Monster a-Go Go (1965) (M)
77. 2.9 Alien from L.A. (1988) (M) I just know this is on Kit Lively's shelf. Who? Go to google and look him up
76. 2.9 Annapolis (2006) Wait a minute, this is still in theaters! Shouldn't there be a mandatory waiting period before casting votes?
75. 2.8 Night Train to Mundo Fine (1966) (M)
74. 2.8 Mr. Nanny (1993) Hulk Hogan as a bodyguard and nanny
73. 2.8 Children of the Corn III (1995)
72. 2.8 Eegah (1962) (M)
71. 2.8 Daniel - Der Zauberer (2004) Has someone from the German version of Pop Idol/American Idol. Rule #2 again.
70. 2.8 Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders (1996) (M)
69. 2.8 Tarzan, the Ape Man (1981) With Bo Derek and Miles O'Keefe
68. 2.8 Werewolf (1996)
67. 2.8 Can't Stop the Music (1980) With the Village People. See rule #2
66. 2.8 Rhinestone (1984) With Sly Stallone & Dolly Parton
65. 2.8 Black Eagle (1988) With Jean-Claude Van Damme
64. 2.8 King Kong Lives (1986)
63. 2.8 Zaat (1975) (M)
62. 2.7 Dis - en historie om kjærlighet (1995) Strange romance flick from Norway
61. 2.7 Underclassman (2005)
60. 2.7 The Foreigner (2003)
59. 2.7 Rollerball (2002) The WWE (when it was still the WWF) gave this some publicity because Paul Heyman played an announcer and Shane McMahon was seen for a second
58. 2.7 Ringmaster (1998) Starring Jerry Springer!
57. 2.7 Date Movie (2006) Another one that's still playing
56. 2.6 Out for a Kill (2003)
55. 2.6 Mannequin: On the Move (1991) *gag* *choke* *retch*
54. 2.6 Teen Wolf Too (1987) Check that out, two sequels in a row
53. 2.6 Captain America (1991)
52. 2.6 Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) (M)
51. 2.6 The Shaggy Dog (2006) Isn't this still out?
50. 2.6 Stay Alive (2006) I saw the trailer for this and thought it would be good
49. 2.6 Get Rich or Die Tryin' (2005) 50 Cent ("Fiddy Cent") tries to make a movie. See rule #2
48. 2.6 The Horror of Party Beach (1964) (M)
47. 2.6 The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1994) Renee Zellweger & Matthew McConoughey at the beginning of their careers
46. 2.5 Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
45. 2.5 Basic Instinct 2 (2006) What's really funny is that there's an ad for this on the same IMDb page I have up right now
44. 2.5 The Smokers (2000)
43. 2.5 The NeverEnding Story III (1994) You mean there is actually a third one?
42. 2.5 Marci X (2003)
41. 2.5 Hobgoblins (1988) (M)
40. 2.5 Shanghai Surprise (1986) One of Madonna's many flops. Rule #2
39. 2.5 Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (1994)
38. 2.5 The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)
37. 2.4 Hercules in New York (1970) Early Schwarzenegger outing
36. 2.4 Ed (1996)
35. 2.4 Aquamarine (2006)
34. 2.4 Bolero (1984)
33. 2.4 Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 (2000) Usually people make sequels to good movies. What moron made a sequel to a bomb?
32. 2.3 It's Pat (1994) An SNL movie that never needed to be made
31. 2.3 Howling II: Stirba - Werewolf ••••• (1985) That's the B-word there y'all
30. 2.3 Yûgiô: Gekijô-ban (2004) Better known as "Yu-Gi-Oh!"
29. 2.3 Cool as Ice (1991) Yep, Vanilla Ice made a movie. Rule #2 yet again.
28. 2.3 Meatballs III: Summer Job (1986)
27. 2.3 Gigli (2003) I remember everyone hating this movie
26. 2.3 Simon Sez (1999) Starring Dennis Rodman
25. 2.2 Baby Geniuses (1999) From the director of "Porky's" and "A Christmas Story" comes a dreadful movie with talking babies. A movie for kids but according to the user comments, kids in the theater were begging their mommies to take them home.
24. 2.2 BloodRayne (2005)
23. 2.2 'Manos': The Hands of Fate (1966) (M) Why isn't this in the top 10??
22. 2.2 Alone in the Dark (2005) Another video game movie (rule #1)
21. 2.2 Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996)
20. 2.1 Chairman of the Board (1998) Starring Carrot Top
19. 2.1 Kazaam (1996) Shaq plays a genie
18. 2.1 Leonard Part 6 (1987) Bill Cosby as a spy. Supposedly even he thinks it's terrible.
17. 2.1 You Got Served (2004)
16. 2.1 House of the Dead (2003) Rule #1
15. 2.1 Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (2006) I wanted to see this. Good thing I didn't
14. 2.1 Son of the Mask (2005)
13. 2.1 The Honeymooners (2005) Cedric the Entertainer in a remake of a 50s sitcom
12. 2.0 Love in Paris (1997) Starring Mickey Rourke
11. 2.0 Glitter (2001) Mariah Carey as a temperamental popstar (see rule #2). When this came out, Maxim magazine reviewed it, saying "If you're the kind of guy who can't miss VH1 Divas Live, by all means, put on your best pantyhose and go see it."
10. 2.0 Backyard Dogs (2000) A movie about backyard wrestling
9. 2.0 Car 54, Where Are You? (1994) Another TV show remake
8. 1.9 In the Mix (2005/I) Starring Usher (rule #2)
7. 1.9 Troll 2 (1990) I so wish MST3K had done this
6. 1.9 Santa with Muscles (1996) Hulk Hogan as a department store Santa who gets amnesia and thinks he's the real Santa
5. 1.9 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain (1998) The fourth "3 Ninjas" movie
4. 1.9 From Justin to Kelly (2003) See rule #2
3. 1.9 Going Overboard (1989) Adam Sandler's first movie. Fortunately he got better.
2. 1.9 SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004)

And now...the worst movie ever (according to IMDb votes)
1. 1.7 Anus Magillicutty (2003)

"Anus Magillicutty"? WTF is this? I almost want to watch it now.

So, there's the list, feel free to comment on what should've been higher, what should've been lower, what should've been included but wasn't, and what should've not been included but was.

3. 1.9 Going Overboard (1989) Adam Sandler's first movie. Fortunately he got better. - Tom Vane

He did?

Out of my mind. Please feel free to leave a message.

Tom Vane: Rule 2: If a movie has pop singers or rappers in it, it will stink.

I wouldn't say that. Look at "Crash". That won best picture. And Mandy Moore's had a few good ones. Or so I've heard.

Keep in mind that this list is constantly in flux, so it may not be exactly the same as this when you visit it over at IMDB.

You forgot to note that Wild World of Batwoman is an MST3K film. In fact, it was the first episode of MST3K I ever saw.

(As long as Gordon brought me into the conversation... )

I think a lot of these would not have the reputation or popularity as bad films if not for MST3K. Where is "Plan 9 From Outer Space"? Generally regarded as the worst film of all time.

What amazes me is how Basic Instinct 2, after only one weekend in release, had already cracked the IMDB "Bottom 100." (It was No. 59, down [up?] from No. 45 when last I checked.) I don't know how it did that, because almost nobody saw it; it grossed a disastrous $3.2 million on its opening weekend.

Tom Vane: Rule 2: If a movie has pop singers or rappers in it, it will stink.
Luigi Novi: What about Moonstruck? Or The Prince of Tides? Or Desperately Seeking Susan? A League of Their Own? Boyz in the Hood? The Italian Job? Saved?

Alright alright alright...let's change rule 2 from generally "movies with pop singers in them" to "movies that are purely made to cash in on the recent popularity of a popstar." E.g. "Spice World" and "From Justin to Kelly"

And I'm going to nitpick my own post. I said the date was "2 April 2003." That should say 2006.

And about those "rules," I know there are exceptions, like "Resident Evil" which was a great movie from a video game. And none of Mandy Moore's movies were on that list, so that might mean something (I never saw them).

In my opinion, a list such as this should be restricted to movies which meet or exceed some reasonable minimum with respect to theatrical distribution. For example, the worst rated movie on the IMDB list, according to IMDB, had a $5,000 budget and no theatrical distribution. And while I don't doubt the movie is awful, it's probably unfair to distinguish it significantly from the 99.99999999999% of amateur movies or home videos which exist in the world, which most people would consider garbage. On the other hand, IMDB's second worst rated movie, opened on 1,276 theater screens in the U.S., which, to me, makes its appearance on the list more appropriate.

Re: Rule 1 & Rule 2

I generally agree with Rule 1, but not with Rule 2. Most movies based on video games have stunk, including "Resident Evil", in my opinion (although, I'm optimistic about "Silent Hill", based on the trailer).

Adam Bomb: What amazes me is how Basic Instinct 2, after only one weekend in release, had already cracked the IMDB "Bottom 100." (It was No. 59, down [up?] from No. 45 when last I checked.) I don't know how it did that, because almost nobody saw it; it grossed a disastrous $3.2 million on its opening weekend.

IIRC there's a minimum of fifty votes for a movie to appear on the Bottom Hundred List. Let's say those fifty all hated it (not all that improbable). And let's say that the average ticket price is about ten dollars. That would have been a total of five hundred dollars.

Does Frank Sinatra count as a "pop singer"? He made many classic movies, such as From Here To Eternity, On The Town, and the original The Manchurian Candidate. Then if you do count him as a "pop singer," that would put him alongside flashes in the pan like Vanilla Ice (calling him a "singer" is a real stretch) and screamer Kelly Clarkson (who has wisely stayed away from film since From Justin To Kelly.)

Thanks for the clarification re: the IMDB "Bottom 100", Gordon.

The problem with boards like this is that newcomers to the thread often read the initial post and then skip to the end. I admit I do that a lot myself. This is why I think a lot of people here missed what I said yesterday: let's change rule #2 to "movies that are purely made to cash in on the recent popularity of a popstar," i.e. Vanilla Ice and Britney Spears but not anything with, say, Mark Wahlberg.