Here is a "reveiw" of "Pokemon: The first movie" that I wrote.

Movie may be better than poke in the eye

Saturday I took my kids to see "Pokémon: The First Movie. First off, they were out of the trading cards that they were supposed to give away. It seems like no big deal, but to a 7-year-old? It wouldn't be hard to figure out how many you need. Multiply the number of seats by the number of shows in a week or two. Apparently that was too hard for the manager of the cinema. Either that, or it is a ploy to save money by only giving cards to those who complain. If that's the case, thank you, Warner Brothers, for teaching our children a valuable lesson about how good your word is.
About the movie, well I'm biased. I'm an adult. My kids loved it. Hopefully they'll drag their mother (my ex-wife) to it.
If you are over 9 years old, however, and you have a choice between seeing "Pokémon: The First Movie" or getting a sharp stick in the eye you must ponder the positives of losing an eye.
The movie opens with a short, "Pikachu's Vacation." I guess if you are Japanese it might make sense. The plot (yeah, plot) has Ash Catchem (forgive me misspelling names; I'm trying to spell phonetically) letting his Pokémon go on vacation at Pokémon world.
Pikachu has to watch the little baby star-thingy-in-an-egg-shell-whose-name-I-forget. Baby starts to cry and Pikachu, Squirtle (a turtle) and Bulbasaur (think a kiddie anklosaur with a clove of garlic on its back) finally get little baby star-thingy-in-an-egg-shell-whose-name-I-forget to sleep when four strange Pokémon loudly walk up and say their names (common behavior for Pokémon? Pokemi? Pokemen?).
Of course little baby star-thingy-in-an-egg-shell-whose-name-I-forget wakes up crying.
Pokémon do not fight each other unless their trainer says to (unless the script calls for it) so they race and stuff. Raichu (an evolved Pikachu -- sort of a big Pikachu) and Pikachu race each other and run over Charizard's (a dragon Pokémon) tail. Craziness ensues and we learn that to get Charizard's head out of the drain pipe (long story) the Pokemi (?) must cooperate --- even the Pokémon with a bone on his head. Maybe I'm reading too much Dave Barry, but I've got to add that I'm not making this up.
In case the plot is too heavy for you, it is broken up by Pokémon characters saying their names as they cavort around the screen in some sort of Pokémon artsy way. No, I'm still not making this up.
Then for those adults who had somehow clung to their sanity, it was time for the main event. I don't want to ruin your enjoyment, so I won't summarize the plot (yeah, it has a plot).
In case you don't get the message, however, it is -- are you ready? -- fighting is bad. Fortunately when Mewtwo (the evil Pokémon bent on destroying the world and ruling the survivors) sees the error of his ways (by Ash's valiant sacrifice of himself to save the battling Pokémon and their clones -- tell the toddlers it is OK -- before his Pokémon friend's tears magically bring him back to life) he makes them all forget the "message" so they can continue having Pokémon battles for the next movie. Oh, I'm not making this up.
WILLIAM BERRY
New Bedford

They just released Pokemon 5 to apparently no box office. Warners stopped distributing the Pokemon flicks after no. 3, and Miramax released the last two.

Berry, that's f-ing hilarious.


And it's a Togepi (Toe-geh-pee), •••• my little brother and my memory.

Adam: Miramax released the last two.

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Jay: Miramax? I thought they only made classy flicks like The Piano and The Crying Game.

Brodie: Well after they made She's All That, everything went straight to Hell.

Dialouge taken from Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back