Not the Oscars, but...Basic Instinct 2 practically ran away with the Razzies. More here.

My suggestions for improving future Academy Awards telecasts:

1. Lose the show-opening short film. Get right to the host. Sure, some of these films have been funny, but the host will set the tone for the evening, so here's something redundant which can be eliminated.

2. Just have the presenters present the awards. Lose all witty banter. Let the host and the award winners be witty.

3. Stop featuring awards for shorts. In short, no one cares (except the Academy and the people who make these movies). Plus, these aren't even feature length movies, which you can see at your local movie theater. Get them off the program entirely.

4. This may be sacrilege, but lose the live performances of the nominated songs. These performances often feature popular performers, and they probably do more than their fair share to put the "show" in the telecasts. However, the songs eat up a lot of time, featuring them in their entirety is unnecessary, and they're usually performed in a way that gives show viewers no sense of the context in which these songs are featured in their respective films.

5. Keep the "Montage of the Dead", but mute the sound from the live audience so that we watching at home don't have to know where each of the dead ranks on the Academy popularity meter.

6. Allow award winners speaking time according the degree to which the viewing public cares about each award. Winners of acting and directing awards should get a minimum of two minutes each. Winners of other awards should be limited to one minute each. This means that the four guys who go on stage to win the award for best visual effects should have gotten together at some point following their nomination to decide how best to split up that minute amongst themselves if they win. The foregoing said, I would also add a provision to this suggestion that first-time winners in any category should get an extra fifteen seconds to speak for each time previously nominated without a win, to a maximum of four total minutes for actors and directors, and two total minutes for winners in other categories. For example, if 0 for 8 acting nominee Peter O'Toole should win an acting Oscar next year, he'd get four minutes to speak. But if two-time winner Meryl Streep wins an acting Oscar next year, she's still limited to two minutes speaking time, since winning the award would be old hat to Meryl Streep. What about special Oscar winners, like a Hersholt winner or a Thalberg winner? Give those winners four minutes each.

One more thing I just thought of: As soon as an award winner whips out that piece of paper with a list of names, the orchestra should start the music signifying fifteen seconds left. Many of these 'thank you's are probably heartfelt, but once the list comes out, speeches start to resemble personal credit sequences.

I think that the "time is almost up" thing should be used at discretion depending on how interesting the speaker is, almost like The Gong Show. You should get two minutes flat, then if all you're doing is reading names or babbling, then GONG. But if you're being witty or you're crying or you're denouncing the capitalistic death machine, we'll let you go on for a little while more.

And if it's more than one person winning the award, please use a spokesman and go with it. I'll give you leeway for some of the "bigger" awards.

I would lose the pointless montage. There were several of them in this year's show (America, writing, foreign film, tribute). Maybe one or two, but not that many.

I would allow the host a monologue and a few little jabs here and there but not like full-fledged comedy sketches/bits.

I would keep the awards for shorts--it's not the filmmakers' faults that their movies do not get distribution. A savvy marketer would put all the shorts on one DVD and release them, like the Grammys do with all the nominees for Best Song in whatever genre.

As for the host, judging by his fine work in this year's awards, Jerry Seinfeld should be seriously considered for next year. I'd like to see Steve Carell try it, actually.